


and we grow.

by aos_skimmons



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Clarke/original character, Clexa Endgame, F/F, Lexa/original character, Pining, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-17
Updated: 2018-02-17
Packaged: 2018-11-01 22:08:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 49,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10931004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aos_skimmons/pseuds/aos_skimmons
Summary: “I’m a mess,” Clarke says.You’re perfect, Lexa wants to say back.But instead, “No you’re not.”Clarke looks up then, giving Lexa a pointed look, as best as she can with already watery eyes.“I’m pregnant Lexa.”This is the story of how two best friends raise a child together, and some how fall in love along the way.





	1. the beginning

**Author's Note:**

> So, I've been out of the writing game for a while now, fic writing anyway. This is an idea I've had for a while now, and the other night I just felt inspired to write it. So I hope you all enjoy.

Lexa is drunk when she hears sobbing coming from the bathroom. 

 

She had just stumbled back to their shared apartment that is only ten minutes from the college campus, after a night out with her softball team when she hears the noises coming from the bathroom. 

 

Lexa staggers down the hallway, placing her palms on the walls as she walks to keep her balance. Her mind is foggy from the alcohol and the world seems to spin around her, but when she finds Clarke sitting on the bathroom floor the world seems to settle. 

 

Her best friend’s back is to the wall as she sits hunched over, her blonde hair pulled back into a messy bun. 

 

Clarke doesn’t even look up as Lexa pushes the door open until it crashes noisily against the wall, she doesn’t flinch as Lexa sits down next to her or when Lexa wraps her arms around Clarke and pulls her into a hug. 

 

“Clarke,” Lexa says, her voice soft. “What’s wrong?” 

 

Blue eyes look up at her then and Lexa’s heart stops, because all she sees is fear. Clarke sucks her bottom lip into her mouth, something she does when she’s worried. And then she lifts her hand, holding something that Lexa hadn’t even noticed in her drunken state. 

 

It takes a moment for Lexa’s eyes to focus on the object in her drunken state, and when they do a soft gasp falls from her lips.

 

“I’m pregnant,” Clarke replies, in a cracked voice. 

 

And from that moment on, both of their lives change.

 

Forever. 

 

.

 

Lexa wakes with her body tangled in someone else’s limbs. There is hair in her mouth and she feels like she’s burning up because of the body heat between them. Lexa gently pushes Clarke off of her. 

 

She doesn’t have a hangover, thankfully she never seems to get them, but she feels disgusting and she wonders why she didn’t change out of her jeans before falling asleep. 

 

Standing up, she stretches her arms over her head. Then she smiles down at the blonde in her bed, not surprised in the least that Clarke had crawled into bed with her last night. 

 

It is only when she’s in the shower, that Lexa remembers the events of the night before. She swears her heart slams into her ribcage so hard that it knocks the wind out of her. 

 

Clarke is pregnant. 

 

_Pregnant_.

 

Lexa finishes her shower quickly, and when she gets out she’s glad to find that Clarke is still asleep in her bed. She quickly changes into sweatpants and an old t-shirt then makes her way out into the kitchen. 

 

It’s not the biggest or best kitchen, but it suits them just fine and it’s their last year of college, so soon they’ll be moving out anyway. Lexa boils the kettle, making herself a herbal tea and an instant coffee for Clarke, making sure to add one sugar and a splash of milk just the way her best friend likes it.

 

Taking the two mugs, Lexa tip toes back into her bedroom, placing Clarke’s mug on the bedside table next to her before she perches herself on the edge of the bed. 

 

The movement of the mattress must be enough to jostle Clarke from her sleep because her eyes flutter open and she brushes her hair out of her face groggily. 

 

“I made you coffee,” Lexa gestures to the mug, unsure what else to say. 

 

Clarke glances at the coffee for a second, before sitting up and burying her face in her hands. 

 

“I’m a mess,” Clarke says. 

 

_You’re perfect_ , Lexa wants to say back. But instead, “No you’re not.”

 

Clarke looks up then, giving Lexa a pointed look, as best as she can with already watery eyes. 

 

“I’m pregnant Lexa.”

 

Silence. 

 

Lexa still isn’t sure what the right thing to say is. After a moment she settles on, “Maybe it was a false positive?” 

 

But Clarke just shakes her head, “I took five tests Lexa. Unless they were all false, I’m definitely…” she trails off. 

 

Lexa sets her mug down, scoots closer to the blonde. She places a comforting hand on her leg. “I’ll be here for you every step of the way Clarke. Whatever you decide.” 

 

Clarke gives her a confused look, “Whatever I decide?” she asks. 

 

“Well… I mean, are you going to keep it?” 

 

The next look Clarke sends her is one of utter realisation, as if she hadn’t even considered the possibility of terminating the baby until then. 

 

Clarke opens her mouth to speak several times but nothing comes out. 

 

And finally, “I…I don’t know.” 

 

.

 

For two weeks Clarke ignores the whole situation. She gets on with her life as normally as she can, and any time Lexa tries to bring up the conversation, Clarke swiftly directs it in another direction. After the fourth time trying to get Clarke to talk about it, Lexa gives up, realising that Clarke just needs some space. 

 

That night Lexa is woken abruptly by her bedroom door swinging open at four in the morning. Light from the hallway streams through the door directly onto her eyes and Lexa finds herself sitting up and squinting in the direction of the door. 

 

“Clarke? What the-“

 

Her roommate strides over to her, standing next to the bed. 

 

“I’m keeping it,” Clarke says. There’s no waver in her voice, and Lexa knows Clarke has made her decision. 

 

Lexa grasps Clarke’s hand and pulls her down until she’s sitting next to her on the bed. Lexa doesn’t let go of Clarke’s hand, she just squeezes it tighter. 

 

“I’m here for you. Every step of the way,” Lexa says. 

 

And she means it. 

 

. 

 

They don’t tell anyone. 

 

They don’t tell anyone, because Clarke doesn’t want to, she’s not ready. And Lexa respects that completely. 

 

After Clarke had decided to keep the baby, they went to the doctor just to confirm that she was actually pregnant, and they told her that she was and to come back at the 12 week mark for her first ultrasound. 

 

That time flew by between lectures and assignments and soccer practices, and a couple weeks later they are now both sat in the waiting room, Clarke is nervously bouncing her knee and Lexa gently places her hand on top of her leg, to halt the motion. 

 

Clarke looks up at her bashfully. “Sorry,” she says, knowing how much it annoys the brunette. 

 

Lexa just smiles gently, “Nothing to be sorry for. You have every right to be nervous right now.” 

 

“I just hope she’s healthy.” 

 

“She?” Lexa grins. Clarke has never hinted as to what sex she thought the baby might be, until now that is. 

 

Clarke shrugs, “I mean…she feels like a she.”

 

Lexa can’t help but lean closer to her best friend and press a kiss to her temple. She hears Clarke sigh softly. “She sounds wonderful,” Lexa says. “A little Clarke.”

 

The blonde snorts with laughter, “God I hope not.” 

 

“Abby?” Lexa teases and Clarke barks out a laugh earning a few stares their way. Lexa chuckles when Clarke shoves her arm gently. 

 

“God even worse.” 

 

Lexa opens her mouth to speak, but then a man in scrubs steps into the waiting room and announces Clarke’s name. Clarke stands up and walks over to him, only to turn around when she realises that Lexa isn’t following. 

 

“What are you doing?” Clarke asks, looking at her best friend who is smiling encouragingly, “Get in here.” 

 

Lexa’s smile widens. She gets up and follows. 

 

.

 

They’re told the baby seems healthy so far, and Lexa just has to take the doctors word for it because all she can see is a grey blob on the screen. Clarke gasps when the cold gel touches her stomach andcries when she first sees the sonogram. Lexa can’t help but tear up too. 

 

She doesn’t think it really set in for either of them of what Clarke is about to go through, that there really is a child inside of her, until they saw the picture on the screen. 

 

Clarke asks for photographs at the end and she clings onto them as they leave. 

.

 

So far Clarke has been lucky. Her morning sickness was never too bad in the beginning, but after the ultrasound it’s as if a switch is flipped and suddenly even the slightest whiff of certain foods has Clarke running to the bathroom. 

 

Soon all Lexa is eating is plain pasta or some kind of chicken, because all the baby seems to want is chicken. Lexa doesn’t mind though, and she makes sure to tell Clarke that every time they share a meal together because she knows the blonde feels guilty. But Lexa just reminds Clarke that she is growing a person inside of her and for the next several months Clarke can have anything she wants, or doesn’t want. 

 

The first time Lexa told Clarke this, the girl just smiled gratefully, before asking if that meant that Lexa would get her ice cream any time she asked, making Lexa roll her eyes. 

 

But that didn’t mean that Clarke didn’t find a bowl of ice cream waiting for her later that evening after she got out the shower. 

 

.

 

One night Lexa finds herself curled up in front of the TV, with Clarke leaning against her. Some random TV show that Clarke is into is playing in front of them, and a bowl of extra buttery popcorn rests on Clarke’s slightly showing stomach. Luckily the bad bout of morning sickness didn’t last very long, and now there are only a certain few foods that make her throw up. Now she’s moved on to cravings and at the moment buttery popcorn always seems to hit the spot. 

 

“I don’t know how you’re doing it,” Clarke says randomly. 

 

“Huh?” Lexa asks, not expecting Clarke to speak. After Clarke repeats herself Lexa is still left confused, “What do you mean?” 

 

“You’re always looking after me. You hold my hair back when I throw up, you make sure that there’s nothing vomit inducing in my food, you barely go out anymore with your soccer team or our friends. And that’s on top of all your assignments. I feel like…I feel like I’m holding you back.” 

 

Lexa puts the bowl of popcorn on the coffee table and pauses the TV show, not because she’s interested but because she doesn’t need it as a distraction in the background. 

 

She makes Clarke sit up so they are facing each other. 

 

“You aren’t making me do any of this,” Lexa assures. “I told you I would be there for you, and I mean it.” 

 

“But-“

 

“No buts Clarke. I will be here for you as long as you want me too. Besides, we’re almost done. In a little over a month we’ll be out of here and there will be no more assignments to worry about. So, I guess you could say you’re kind of stuck with me,” Lexa grins. 

 

“I love you, you know,” Clarke says and Lexa’s heart jumps in her chest. 

 

She knows Clarke only means it in a friendly way, but if she imagines hard enough she can almost imagine Clarke meaning something else… something more. 

 

“I know. I love you too,” Lexa says. 

 

“But really Lexa, you’re studying to be an architect. It can’t be easy helping me all the time on top of that. It’s not like you’re doing art like me or anything.” 

 

“Hey, hey,” Lexa scolds, “Don’t do that, you work hard at your art.” 

 

“Lexa, I just sit in front of a canvas.”

 

“And you create beautiful things, I know I could never do it.”

 

“…Do you think I should switch to something else?” Clarke asks and Lexa actually gasps, because she’s never seen someone so passionate about something as Clarke is about art and painting. 

 

“What!? No, of course not,” Lexa exclaims. 

 

“But with the baby, I just don’t know if it’s going to be enough to support her.” 

 

“Clarke,” Lexa places her hands on her shoulders, making Clarke look at her, “Clarke. You are going to be a hugely successful artist one day. Your daughter, she's going to be there to see that.”

 

“Yeah?” 

 

“Yes.” 

 

And Lexa thinks that she must be convincing enough, because Clarke settles back into her then. A moment later Lexa turns the show back on. 

 

.

 

Clarke begins to clearly show only two weeks before their graduation and she has to deal with the fact that she is going to have to tell people now. 

 

She gathers all their close friends, inviting them over for a board game night one Friday evening. 

Jasper as usual is the last one to arrive, he joins them in the living room that is beginning to feel a little cramped. Raven and Anya are in the middle of an arm wrestle. Monty, Lincoln and Bellamy are in a deep discussion about how mermaids would logically give birth, and Octavia is setting up the board game, trying to convince everyone to focus so they can play the game.

 

Clarke is about to try and get everyone’s attention when Raven loudly says, “You know, I think this is the first time in months that we’re actually all hanging out together.” 

 

“Blame Clarke and Lexa, they never come out anymore,” Bellamy adds. 

 

“They were probably just busy with their assignments,” Monty says. 

 

“So were we and we didn’t crawl under our rocks,” Anya says. 

 

“Guys,” Clarke holds her hands up, to get them to stop talking. “I actually asked you all here because I,” she looks to Lexa,” Well, _we_ have something we need to tell you.”

 

“You’re dating!” Octavia shouts. 

 

“I fucking knew it,” Raven slams her hand down on the table. “Lincoln fucking pay up buddy.”

 

“They haven’t even said anything!” Lincoln argues. 

 

“When did this first happen?” Raven asks. “Who made the first move?” 

 

The room bursts with questions, people shouting their own questions, or guessing the answers to someone else’s.

 

Lexa feels overwhelmed by it all, and all she can do is watch the chaos erupt around her. 

 

Eventually Clarke has enough of it. 

 

“Guys! We aren’t dating!” She shouts. “I’m pregnant.” 

 

Silence. 

 

Lexa doesn’t think she’s ever heard her friends shut up so quickly in the entire time she’s known them. She doesn’t think a room full of their friends has ever been this shocked before. Not even when Trump was announced as President.

 

“I mean, I thought you were just getting fat,” Raven says, breaking the silence. 

 

Anya elbows her in the stomach. 

 

“Raven,” she hisses. 

 

And then Clarke is laughing. She isn’t sure why, but she can’t seem to stop and Lexa puts it down to the relief of finally telling them all. 

 

“Wait, you said we. Does this mean Lexa knew?” Lincoln asks. 

 

Lexa shuffles awkwardly as Clarke’s laughter finally subsides. “Um… yes. I knew.”

 

Surprisingly, there’s no burst of annoyance at being kept in the dark. Even their immature friends must realise the magnitude of the whole situation and there’s just some nods around the room. 

 

“So who’s the dude?” Jasper asks next, and Lexa’s ears perk up. 

 

Lexa has never asked Clarke this question and Clarke has never even hinted at telling her who the father is. She figured that Clarke would tell her when she wanted to and she respected that. But it didn’t mean she wasn’t curious. She also can’t help the little part of her that flares up with jealousy at the thought of Clarke sleeping with someone, but she pushes that feeling down like she always does. 

 

“Yeah, who’s the father?” Bellamy asks. 

 

Clarke sighs, she sits down on the free arm chair. “To be honest, I can’t actually remember,” no one looks judging and Clarke silently thanks them all for being such good people. “It was a guy I met on that night we went to that new place in town? He was gone before I woke up the next day and to be honest I don’t really remember what he looks like either.” 

 

“Well it’s not like it matters, right?” Raven says. Everyone turns to look at her. “I just mean, that kids gonna have all of us loving the shit out of it. Who needs the father.”

 

A sob finally breaks through, and tears begin streaming down Clarke’s cheeks. Lexa immediately wraps her in a hug and soon everyone else has joined in. 

 

Clarke has never felt so much love than in that moment. 

 

.

 

Telling Clarke’s parents is a whole different story. Clarke with the help of Lexa and the rest of their friends, manage to keep it a secret from them until after graduation with the help of strategic clothing. 

 

It is a few weeks after graduation and Clarke and Lexa have moved into Polis, into a nice apartment. Lexa of course already has an internship at a highly acclaimed architectural firm and Clarke is working at Polis Art Museum, while planning to work on her paintings on the side. 

 

It’s when Clarke gets a call from her mother Abby, saying that she and Jake will be coming around for dinner to check out the new apartment that Clarke and Lexa knew they could no longer keep the secret.

 

 

Clarke wears the biggest and baggiest sweatshirt she owns to answer the door, while Lexa remains in the kitchen finishing plating up the lasagna they made for dinner. She also sports an extremely baggy sweatshirt, which was forced over her head by Clarke who insisted that it looked more normal if they were both wearing one. 

 

Lexa sets all the plates down on the table, before going over to hug Abby and Jake hello. They all sit down for dinner. Lexa asks how their journey was, trying to maintain conversation as Clarke seems to have lost the ability to speak due to her nerves. 

 

They manage to make it through dinner, with Clarke speaking every once and a while, though Lexa is sure that Jake and Abby both know something is up, by the looks they keep sending each other. 

 

The plates are soon cleared away, and Lexa announces that she’ll get the fruit salad into bowls. Clarke looks at her with pleading eyes, as if asking her to stay, but they had already had this conversation and Lexa knew that Clarke really wanted to tell them herself, so Lexa just shakes her head subtly and makes her leave to the kitchen, but leaves the door open a crack so she can still hear. 

 

Clarke clears her throat, fiddles with her fingers nervously. 

 

“Clarke honey?” Jake asks. “Are you alright? You’ve been acting strange since we got here.”

 

“Is everything alright at the museum?” Abby asks.

 

“Yeah… yeah everything is great at the museum. I just- I have to tell you both something and I’m not sure how you’re going to take it.” 

 

“You know you can tell us anything Clarke,” Jake says, and Lexa smiles at the sincerity in his voice. 

 

“I… Actually, just one second I think I heard Lexa drop something in the kitchen.” 

 

Lexa lets out a long sigh as she hears Clarke ignore her parents protests and comments about how they didn’t hear anything. Clarke barges into the kitchen, where Lexa stands next to the four bowls of fruit she already prepared, an eyebrow arched. 

 

“I couldn’t do it.”

 

“I heard,” Lexa replies, a small smirk on her lips. 

 

“This isn’t funny Lexa,” Clarke hisses and Lexa smooths her expression. 

 

She steps closer to Clarke and rubs her hands up and down the anxious girls arms, as soothingly as she can. Clarke rests her head on Lexa’s shoulder. 

 

“What if they hate me,” Clarke whispers. 

 

“They wont,” Lexa says assuredly. 

 

“But what if they do?” 

 

“Then I’ll kick their asses,” Lexa says seriously and Clarke laughs. She peels herself away from Lexa, who immediately misses the contact. 

 

“I love you, you know.” 

 

“I know. And I love you too.”

 

“I can do this, right?”

 

“You can.”

 

“Will you be there with me?” Clarke asks, almost timidly.

 

“I thought you said you wanted to do it by yourself?” Lexa questions. 

 

“I know…but you’ve been there with me every other step. It feels wrong without you.”

 

Lexa takes Clarke’s hand and guides her towards the kitchen door, “Then we better get out there.”

 

.

 

Abby and Jake both don’t know how to react at first. Abby begins asking all of the questions under the sun, and Clarke tries to keep up as best as she can, while Jake sits in mostly shocked silence. Lexa tries to remain as quiet as possible through the whole thing, letting Clarke and her parents have this moment. 

 

Finally Clarke shows them the ultrasound pictures and all the Griffins break down in tears, and Jake pulls his two girls in for a hug. 

 

“I’m going to be a grandpa?” Jake asks, still in shock. 

 

“Yeah,” Clarke nods, tears leaving stains down her cheeks. 

 

He pulls Clarke in for a tighter hug. It is when Jake holds his arm out and gestures for Lexa to join them, does Lexa let the tears that were pricking at her eyes, fall. 

 

.

 

Unlike a lot of soon to be parents, Clarke refuses to get an ultrasound so find out the sex of the baby. Lexa knows it’s not because she wants it to be a surprise, if anything Lexa thinks Clarke is afraid that once she knows, everything will be just that much more real. 

 

But just like Lexa knew she would, Clarke finally gives in just as she hits the six and half months mark. They were told that they could know the sex of the baby over a month ago but Clarke had said no, and so Lexa had to accept it. 

 

Lexa knows that this baby isn’t hers. She knows that in her head. But sometimes her heart can’t help but feel it is. She has been there since the beginning, and she already loves it as if it her her own. 

 

But she knows it’s not hers. 

 

She just has to ignore the part of her that wants it to be. 

 

.

 

Lexa helps Clarke onto the examination table, Clarke’s stomach is big enough now that it is slightly harder than the first time around. 

 

Clarke still flinches as the gel touches her stomach, still holds Lexa’s hand as they wait for the image to appear.

 

And when it does, they both gasp. 

 

Because _holy shit,_ the baby is no longer a blob on the screen, it’s looks like an actual person and Lexa has to resist stepping right up the screen and kissing it. 

 

“And that is your baby,” the doctor says. “Do you want to know the sex?” he asks. 

 

Clarke looks to Lexa, questioning.

 

“It’s your baby Clarke,” Lexa says gently. 

 

Clarke smiles through tears, “Yeah but… do you want to know Lex?” she asks. 

 

Lexa nods, “I do.”

 

“We do,” Clarke says, turning to the doctor. 

 

“Wonderful,” he says, looking back at the screen. “You two have a beautiful healthy girl on the way.”

 

Clarke starts crying again and Lexa joins in. She can’t help but stand and wrap her arm around Clarke’s shoulders,press a kiss to her cheek, then another one to her temple. 

 

“You were right,” Lexa says. 

 

“Yeah we were,” Clarke smiles. 

 

.

 

Time at the architectural firm seems to pass by in an instant. When she’s not at work, or completing projects for her boss, she is reading everything she can on pregnancy and childcare. And when she’s not doing that she’s going with Clarke to prenatal classes.

 

And then suddenly, Clarke is entering the beginning of her third trimester and something very unexpected happens. 

 

Clarke walks into Lexa’s bedroom, and flops down on her back, making Lexa look up from her laptop. 

 

“Lexa, I’m so fucking horny, I can’t stand it anymore,” Clarke says and Lexa’s brain goes haywire. 

 

“Um… ok?” Lexa says, after a long minute of silence. “I don’t really know what to do to help you with that.” 

 

“We could have sex.”

 

"What?" 

 

"We could have sex."

 

Lexa thinks her brain stops all together this time. 

 

“Wait- wha- er… I don’t-“

 

“Ugh,” Clarke groans. “I’m sorry, that was dumb.” 

 

“Yeah,” Lexa says, laughing nervously. “You could always go out and meet someone?” 

 

Clarke rolls onto her side and gives Lexa a look, “Look at me Lexa. I’m pregnant. Very clearly pregnant. No one will want to get caught up in all this.”

 

“You’re beautiful Clarke.”

 

The blonde sends her a soft smile, and she shrugs, “You have to say that as my best friend.” 

 

“Maybe,” Lexa teases, “You’re just lucky that it also happens to be true.” 

 

Clarke blushes beautifully, “Shut up.”

 

“Come here.”

 

Lexa places her laptop on the floor and holds her arms out to Clarke who crawls into her embrace. They lay there in silence for a long while, until Clarke says, “I’m sorry for…” she waves her hand, “all that. Basically throwing myself at you. I’m kind of embarrassed.” 

 

“I mean, I don’t blame you,” Lexa replies, “Look at me I’m gorgeous,” she jokes. 

 

“You are,” Clarke agrees. They lay there for a few more minutes before Clarke gets up. “I only had a half day and I’m still exhausted.”

 

“You’re growing a person.”

 

“That I am. So, I’m going to shower then head to bed for the night.”

 

“Sleep well.”

 

Clarke kisses Lexa’s cheek before she disappears out of the room, shutting the door quietly behind her. Once again, Lexa is left alone. Except this time, she can’t happily get on with her work. No. Because all she is thinking about is how Clarke asked her to sleep with her, and she had to say no. 

 

Lexa presses the palms of her hands into her eyes and groans. 

 

_What is Clarke doing to me_ , Lexa thinks. 

 

Lexa debates just staying in and finishing her work, but it is a Friday night, and so for the first time in months Lexa begins to get ready to go out. It doesn’t take very long, ten minutes at most. She throws on some nice jeans, a button up shirt, and of course her signature eyeliner. Then she grabs her leather jacket and heads out her room. 

 

Clarke is still in the shower when she passes the bathroom, and Lexa doesn’t bother telling her she’s going out, not when she knows her best friend will no doubt go to sleep straight after. 

 

Lexa closes the door quietly behind herself, and ignores the way that it feels like she’s going behind Clarke’s back.

 

.

 

Lexa’s mouth is dry when she wakes up and light from her window she’s into her eyes. She tries to stand up only to realise that another body is pinning her arm down. 

 

“Clarke,” Lexa mutters, “Roll over a bit.” 

 

A pause.

 

“Is Clarke your girlfriend?”

 

“Holy shit!” Lexa exclaims, when she hears a strangers voice. 

 

Lexa’s eyes widen, and she snaps her head towards the person next to her, taking in red hair and a thin frame. 

 

The girl, Riley, Lexa remembers now, sits up not bothering to hold the sheet to her chest, unlike Lexa who keeps herself covered. 

 

“Sorry,” Lexa apologises. “I’m always a bit groggy in the mornings. And Clarke is my roommate, she has a habit of crawling into bed with me.”

 

“That’s good, I’d hate to cause any trouble,” Riley says, relieved. “Also, good morning.”

 

Lexa is surprised when Riley leans over and kisses her. She thought maybe the girl would try to leave as fast as possible, but she also finds she doesn’t mind it.

 

“Morning,” Lexa says, once the kiss ends. 

 

Riley is beautiful to say the least, Lexa is sure she could be a model if she wanted to be, but Lexa faintly remembers her saying last night that she is an elementary school teacher.

 

“So, last night was fun,” Riley grins, and Lexa chuckles. 

 

“Yeah, I think that about sums it up.” 

 

“What if we made this morning fun too?” 

 

Then Riley is kissing her again. She feels herself being laid back down, hands trail along her arms. And it’s nice. Riley’s not Clarke, but it’s still nice. 

 

And suddenly Lexa’s door is flung open. 

 

“Lexa I’m making pancakes- oh!” 

 

Lexa tears her lips away from the girl’s on top of her, just in time to see Clarke spin around, so her back is facing them. 

 

“Clarke!” Lexa exclaims. 

 

“I’m so sorry! I’ll just-“ 

 

And then she’s gone, the door slamming shut behind her. Riley begins to laugh, her shoulders shaking as she buries her face in Lexa’s neck. 

 

“So that was the roommate.” 

 

“That was her,” Lexa agrees, the sound of regret in her voice. 

 

Riley leans back up, resting on her elbows, so she can look Lexa in the eye. She studies Lexa for a long moment and Lexa feels as if she's a statue in an exhibition. 

 

“You’re in love with her,” Riley states. 

 

Lexa doesn't know why, but she finds herself admitting, “Yes.”

 

It's the first time she has said it out loud. She never thought it would be to a practical stranger she just spent the night with, but hey, the world works in strange ways.

 

“I noticed she’s pregnant.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“I’m sorry, that must be rough,” she says, and it sounds like she means it. Lexa just shrugs and Riley smiles sympathetically. “I should go,” she says, a second later, before standing. 

 

She methodically collects her clothes from the night before, pulling them on. Lexa does the same, except with a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, she quickly runs a brush through her hair and uses a face wipe to rid her eyes of any remains of her eyeliner. 

 

When they are both dressed, Riley, finds a pen and a piece of scrap paper on Lexa’s desk, she scrawls her number on it, and tucks it into Lexa’s pocket.

 

“Just in case,” she says with a wink. 

 

Lexa walks Riley out, choosing to not look at Clarke who sits at the dining table, eating breakfast. At the door, Riley kisses her cheek once and then she’s gone. Lexa closes the door behind her. 

 

When she finally looks at Clarke, she already finds the blonde staring back at her and Lexa can't quite read her expression. 

 

“You’re seeing someone?” Clarke asks, and Lexa wonders if it’s hurt she hears in her voice, or if it’s something else entirely. 

 

“No,” Lexa replies, truthfully. 

 

“Oh,” is all Clarke says, nodding. 

 

“I’m sorry you walked in on-“

 

“No. I’m sorry. I interrupted-“ she cuts herself off. “I- She didn’t leave because of me, right?” 

 

“No,” Lexa assures, “She had to go run some errands,” she lies. 

 

“Right.”

 

Lexa wants to cringe at how awkward they’re being with each other, this hasn’t happened since that time Lexa walked in on Clarke watching porn two weeks after they met. 

 

“Do you want pancakes?” Clarke finally asks. 

 

Lexa sighs, “Yes please.”

 

. 

 

Clarke is mad at her. Lexa is sure of it. Or she is at least she is actively trying to avoid her and spend less time with her. 

 

Lexa lets it happen for four days before she has had enough. She corners Clarke in her bedroom one evening, deciding she wasn’t going to leave until Clarke tells her what’s wrong. 

 

“I’m not mad at you,” Clarke says after Lexa asks. 

 

“Then why are you acting strange?” 

 

“You’re going to think I’m being ridiculous.” 

 

“I would never think that.” 

 

Clarke sits up on her bed, looking down at her hands, and refuses to speak. Lexa lets her, knowing Clarke is probably struggling to find the right thing to say. 

 

“You’re not dating that girl from the night before, are you?” she asks. 

 

Well, Lexa definitely wasn’t expecting that. 

 

“What? No, I thought I told you that,” Lexa says, still confused. “What does Riley have to do with anything.” 

 

Clarke scoffs, “Riley. Of course she has an awesome name.” 

 

“Clarke?”

 

“She’s probably a Victoria’s Secret model, right?” 

 

“Elementary school teacher.” 

 

Clarke scoffs again, “Oh of course.” 

 

“Clarke,” Lexa says, more stern this time. 

 

“I don’t want you seeing anyone, ok?! Or sleeping with anyone.” 

 

“What?” 

 

“I told you this sounds ridiculous,” Clarke huffs, crossing her arms. “I know we aren’t dating, we aren’t together and I know we’re just friends. But you’re basically this kids other mom and I need you to myself.” 

 

“Wait, you think of me as her other mom?” Lexa asks, in awe, and her heart feels full. 

 

“Lexa, don’t change the subject.” 

 

“I’m sorry. And Clarke, if you don’t want me to see anyone I won’t. Ok?” 

 

“But…it’s so ridiculous,” Clarke says, and when she looks up, Lexa notices tears in her eyes. Lexa immediately goes over to her friend and hugs her. 

 

“It may be a little silly, but I’ll do anything for you Clarke.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yes, really.”

 

“But what about Riley? She’s gorgeous.” 

 

“She was a one night thing,” Lexa assures. 

 

Clarke rests her head on Lexa’s shoulder. “I’m being so stupid. You can tell me.” 

 

“I think,” Lexa says carefully, “That while you’ve got that little girl growing inside of you, you can have any ridiculous request you want. Ok?”

 

Clarke laughs, and wipes away the tears in her eyes. “Ok.” 

 

“Good. I told you I’d be here for you, I’m sorry if you felt like I haven’t been.”

 

“God, no!” Clarke gasps. “You’ve been absolutely perfect. I’m just a terrible friend. I’m asking too much from you.” 

 

“Clarke,” Lexa says. 

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Shut up.”

 

.

 

“What about Edith? Mary-Anne? Ruth?” 

 

“Raven, why do you think this baby is going to be a sixty year old woman?” Clarke asks. 

 

The girls are all gathered in Lexa and Clarke’s living room. The Bachelor is playing on the TV, but everyone is more focused on their phones, looking up baby names. 

 

“Anya,” Anya announces. 

 

“That’s your own name,” Octavia points out. 

 

“And it’s the best.”

 

“We can’t name her Anya,” Lexa says, “That’s like the opposite of a head start in life,” she teases, then ducks when Anya throws a cushion at her. 

 

“What about Ruby?” Clarke says. 

 

“Pass,” Raven shakes her head. 

 

“Alice?” Octavia suggests. 

 

“Not unless she’s going to visit Wonderland,” Anya responds. 

 

“Willow,” Lexa says.

 

“What? Like the tree? I don’t think so,” Clarke says. 

 

“Summer,” Octavia announces. 

 

“No, because what will she do in the other seasons?” Raven says. 

 

“She isn’t the season summer, her name would be Summer,” Octavia retorts. 

 

“I know that,” the mechanic glares at her friend. “I’m just saying she might get confused.”

 

“Clarke’s baby isn’t going to be an idiot Raven.” 

 

“She’s a baby Octavia! She’s going to be confused no matter what!” 

 

“You don’t make any sense!”

 

“Your face doesn’t make any sense.”

 

“Guys!” Clarke gasps. 

 

“What?!” Everyone jumps to Clarke’s side, the argument forgotten. “Are you ok?” 

 

Clarke holds her hands to her stomach, her eyes wide. “I think I just felt her kick. She’s never done that before,” she says, her eyes welling up with tears. “Lexa, come feel.” 

 

Lexa puts her hand in Clarke’s outstretched one, and Clarke places Lexa’s hand on her stomach. They wait in silence for a few moments before Lexa gasps and jerks her hand back, before quickly putting it back on. 

 

“Oh my god! I felt it.”

 

Lexa is shoved away then, as everyone else tries to feel and Clarke can’t help but laugh at their frustrated faces when they don’t feel anything. 

 

“Does it hurt?” Lexa asks, concerned. 

 

“No,” Clarke assures, “It’s kind of like butterflies, but different.”

 

Lexa rests her arm over Clarke’s shoulder, “Ok, good.”

 

“No fair, why did she kick for Lexa and not me,” Raven whines. “Maybe we should just call her Traitor instead,” she says, scowling at Clarke’s stomach. 

 

“Raven!” Clarke laughs. 

 

“I’m not sorry, it had to be said.” 

 

Lexa rests her hand on Clarke’s stomach again, as everyone else goes back to their normal seats. Lexa gasps softly when she feels another gentle kick, but she doesn’t say anything, not wanting Raven to start shouting again. Clarke just smiles at her, and Lexa returns it, and for a second everything feels perfect. 

 

.

 

It is a well known fact that Lexa would be planning Clarke’s baby shower. Lexa just didn’t realise how soon it would be. 

 

It is nearing the middle of Clarke’s third trimester and Clarke and Lexa’s apartment is full of their friends, as well as some of Clarke’s family, including her parents. 

 

“Late as normal,” Lexa says, letting Jasper through the door. 

 

“Lexa,” he says, saluting her on his way in. He places a present on the table with all the others. 

 

Lexa gathers everyone’s attention then, by turning down the music. She clears her throat. 

 

“Now that everyone is here,” she begins, giving Jasper a pointed look, “I just want to say thank you to everyone for coming today to celebrate Clarke, and…well Clarke still hadn’t decided on a name, baby Griffin, we’ll say for now,” she says, earning a few laughs. “I know this isn’t your usual baby shower, for one, I’m pretty sure men aren’t supposed to be here. But I didn’t know that until I sent out the invitations, so here we all are. Anyway, thanks for all being here, the food should be done in about five minutes, then after Clarke will open herand baby Griffin’s presents.”

 

After Lexa’s little speech, Clarke gestures her over, and Lexa happily goes to her. 

 

“Thank you for this Lexa.”

 

Clarke cups Lexa’s cheek with her hand, she steps closer, and for half a second Lexa thinks Clarke is going to kiss her. Instead Clarke’s lips land on her cheek, dangerously close to the corner of her mouth. She rubs her thumb over Lexa’s cheek and gazes into her eyes, and Lexa forgets how to breath for a moment. 

 

“Um… you’re welcome.” 

 

Lexa excuses herself then, and all she can think about is, _does Clarke know what she’s doing to her?_

 

They don’t have a balcony, so she goes into her bedroom and stands by her open window. She hears the door open a few minutes later, but she doesn’t bother to check who it is. 

 

“You alright there champ?” she hears Raven ask, and Lexa turns in surprise, thinking it would be Clarke there. 

 

“Yeah I’m fine.” 

 

“I saw you with Clarke just now.” 

 

“Oh?” 

 

“How long have you been in love with her?” 

 

Lexa clenches her eyes shut. She doesn’t answer. 

 

“Lexa?” Raven asks. 

 

“Is it that obvious? Do you think she knows?” Lexa asks, instead of answer, her voice wavers. 

 

“No. You’re good at hiding it. Hell I didn’t even know for sure until right now.” 

 

She sighs with relief, “Ok. Good.”

 

“So? How long?” Raven asks again.

 

Lexa’s jaw clenches. “Since I met her.”

 

Raven lets out a low whistle. “Damn. What are you going to do?” 

 

“What do you mean? I can’t _do_ anything. Clarke doesn’t feel the same way.”

 

“How do you know that? From what I just saw-“

 

“Don’t.”

 

“But-“

 

“Raven I said don’t. Don’t do this to me, don’t put ideas in my head. I can’t get my hopes up when I know I’m just going to be disappointed and heartbroken. I’m fine how I am now. And I need Clarke, I need her in my life. I’d rather haveher as a friend, than not at all.”

 

For a second Raven stays quiet, which is a first. And then she says, “Yeah, alright. For what it’s worth, I think you’re an amazing friend. Clarke is lucky to have you.” 

 

“Yeah, a friend.” There is no bitterness in her voice, only sadness. 

 

.

 

Lexa gets the call one week early, when she’s on her way home from the grocery store. She had finished work not long ago and decided to stop off there, before making her way back to the apartment. 

 

She is just leaving the store when her phone rings and she rolls her eyes fondly when she sees it’s Clarke, figuring that Clarke just remembered something she wants to be picked up. 

 

“Lexa!” Clarke’s voice gasps. 

 

“Clarke? What’s wrong?” 

 

“I think my water just broke.” 

 

The groceries tumble from Lexa’s arms and her jaw drops. She doesn’t hear a man ask if she’s ok, and she doesn’t even go to pick up her dropped items. Because in the next second, she is off, sprinting down the street towards their apartment. 

 

“I’m on my way Clarke. I’m coming.” 

 

.

 

The birth lasts eight hours in total. Eight hours and nine minutes if Lexa is being exact. For the most part, Lexa spent her time either pacing up and down the hallway, or by Clarke’s side. 

 

Abby and Jake arrived half an hour after they reached the hospital, with their friends arriving at all different times, and if Lexa is honest, she really didn’t keep track. 

 

All Lexa was focused on was counting the time between Clarke’s contractions and making sure that she was comfortable. 

 

Lexa is in the room when the doctors tell Clarke it’s time for the final push. Abby is on her other side, saying encouraging words as Lexa brushes back Clarke’s sweaty hair, and ignores the vice grip that Clarke has on her hand.

 

“Lexa,” Clarke sobs, “I don’t think I can do this.”

 

“Yes you can,” Lexa says, “You can and you will because soon everything you’ve been going through these last 9 months will be worth it.” 

 

Clarke cries out again and Lexa just wishes she could take the pain for her. “Ok. Ok. Ok. Lexa.”

 

“Yeah?” 

 

“I love you, you know.”

 

“I know. And I love you too.” Lexa doesn’t care that Clarke’s forehead is covered in sweat, she still presses a delicate kiss there, and squeezes Clarke’s hand. 

 

“Clarke, are you ready for this final push?” 

 

.

 

Lexa never knew that a baby's cry could sound like angels singing until she heard hers. The doctor’s whisk baby Griffin away after announcing she is beautiful and healthy, to clean her up and Clarke lets out a relieved cry. 

 

“You did it sweetie,” Abby says. “I’ll go tell everyone the good news.”

 

Lexa shakes out her hand, clenching it into a fist and relaxing again every few seconds. Clarke grabs her arm and kisses her knuckles. 

 

“I didn’t hurt you too bad, did I?” 

 

“It was worth it,” Lexa promises.

 

Soon, a doctor is placing a beautiful baby girl in Clarke’s arms and Lexa thinks she falls in love as soon as she lays eyes on her. 

 

“She’s beautiful Clarke. She has your nose.”

 

“Oh my god. I’m a mother now.” 

 

Lexa brushes her forefinger against the baby’s cheek, marvelling at her soft skin. 

 

“Did your nine months of pregnancy not hint at that?” Lexa teases. 

 

“You’re the worst.”

 

Lexa just grins. 

 

They spend the next five minutes just cooing and coddling the baby, until Abby pops her head through the door. 

 

“Can we come in?” 

 

“Yeah come on in,” Clarke says. 

 

Abby, followed by everyone else, trail into the room, until it’s filled to the brim, with everyone gathering around the bed. 

 

“She’s beautiful honey,” Jake says. 

 

“Kinda squishy,” Raven adds. 

 

“This baby is gonna be so badass, I can tell,” Anya says. 

 

“She’s going to take on the world,” Bellamy says. 

 

“Probably going to be president one day,” Lincoln chimes in.

 

And as Lexa gazes at the little bundle in Clarke’s arms, she can’t help but think that every single one of those things will be true.

 

“Everyone!” Monty says, he stands at the foot of the bed holding his phone, “Everyone smile, and say baby!”

 

The whole room smiles at the camera. Except for Clarke and Lexa, who are too enthralled by baby Griffin. 

 

.

 

Everyone else filtered out the room a few minutes ago, except for Lexa and Abby who are sat on either side of Clarke's bed, Clarke between them with baby Griffin in her arms. 

 

“So, do we have a name yet?” Abby asks. 

 

Lexa perks up at that, Clarke’s been saying she’s chosen a name for weeks now, but refuses to tell anyone just in case it doesn’t fit and she has to change it. But now the day has finally arrived that she can know.

 

“Yeah I think so,” Clarke grins. “Bella.”

 

“Bella,” Abby says. 

 

“Bella,” Lexa says. “Bella, I like the sound of that.” She gets up from the chair she had perched herself in an hour ago, and places a hand on the baby girl’s blanket. “Bella, do you like that?” 

 

Of course she doesn’t do anything, she’s fast asleep. But Lexa still smiles. 

 

Abby’s phone begins to ring so she quickly excuses herself. 

 

“Hi Bella,” Lexa coos, unable to help herself.

 

“Yeah, Bella Alexandria Griffin.”

 

Lexa blinks. And pauses, as if she hadn’t heard that right. 

 

“You’re… You’re naming her after me?” Lexa asks.

 

“It sounds right, don’t you think?” 

 

Lexa chokes back a sob, but she can’t stop the tears the form and fall. She doesn’t think she’s ever cried as much as she has since Clarke fell pregnant than she has in her entire life. 

 

“I love it.”

 

Lexa leans down and presses a kiss to Bella’s forehead, so gently as if she could break her. 

 

“Lexa,” Clarke says, her voice soft. 

 

Lexa looks up, and then Clarke is kissing her. The blonde's lips are slightly chapped, but her kiss is soft. And for a few glorious moments everything falls into place. 

 

.

 

Over the next few months, Clarke and Lexa’s lives are thrown up in the air. They are constantly busy, constantly on the go.

 

They never talk about the kiss. It’s not brought up once. 

 

And as time passes, Lexa begins to wonder, if she imagined the whole thing.

 

 


	2. the middle: part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it turns out when i'm inspired i can write pretty fast. I churned this out way faster than i thought i would. Also i've decided to add another chapter (I might add another one if i get to the end of chapter 3 and realise i need a bit more), which means they'll be slightly shorter, but there's more of them. 
> 
> Thank you so much for the supportive feedback on the last chapter and I hope you enjoy this one as well.

 

“Do you think we have everything?” Clarke asks as she rifles through Bella’s changing bag.  
****

Lexa steps out of the kitchen, Bella perched in one arm, and a half eaten apple in her free hand. 

 

“Clarke I’m pretty sure you have enough supplies to last a zombie apocalypse,” Lexa says, around a mouth full of apple

 

“No talking with your mouth full,” Clarke says absentmindedly. 

 

Lexa grins, “You may be a mother now, but you’re not my mother.”

 

Clarke laughs. “Shut up Lex,” she says, “Anyway, I like to be prepared. Plus we’ve never taken her to the zoo before.”

 

“You make it sound like something crazy is going to happen.”

 

“You don’t know Lexa!” 

 

The architect just laughs. “I’ve been to the zoo before Clarke, nothing bad is going to happen.” Lexa bounces Bella on her hip making the little girl babble happily. “Let’s get going now, I want to show this one the otters.” 

 

“What’s with you and otters?” 

 

“They’re majestic, Clarke.” 

 

.

 

They arrive at the zoo half an hour later. Lexa hasn’t been to the zoo since she was a child and it’s different than she remembers.For one, the railings seem shorter, but she puts that down to her being an adult now. 

 

First they visit the elephants, because they’re Clarke’s favourite and she insists that they’ll be Bella’s favourite animal as well. They stop in front of the enclosure, it’s a large open area of land with a small lake in the middle. Lexa can only see three elephants, and a baby one that she thinks is probably only a few months old. 

 

“You know you can’t choose this for her right,” Lexa says with amusement in her voice. 

 

“I know,” Clarke sighs, “But they’re just so damn cute.” 

 

Clarke takes Bella out of her stroller, so she can get a better looks, but the baby is more interested in playing with Clarke’s hair than anything else. 

 

“Why do we take her anywhere, she’s not going to remember this,” Lexa jokes.

 

“It’s important for her to see and experience different things, even at a young age,” Clarke recites. 

 

Lexa chuckles, “I know.”

 

They spend a while at the elephant enclosure, because the baby elephant starts to play with a ball and Clarke finds it adorable. Eventually Lexa has to remind Clarke that they are here to see the other animals too, and the artist reluctantly agrees to leave, but not before taking a picture with Bella first. 

 

Lexa slips her phone out her back pocket and holds it up, “Ok, ready?” 

 

“Lex, what are you doing? You have to be in the picture too,” she says. 

 

They get a teenager nearby to take the picture. It’s a cute one. There are elephants in the background, Lexa and Clarke both hold Bella between them as she holds onto the ends of their hair, giggling happily to herself. Lexa makes sure that Clarke sends it to her then and there and sets it as her lock screen background on her phone. 

 

“Come on baby girl,” Lexa says as she lifts Bella from her mother’s arms, “Let’s go on an adventure!”

 

Lexa runs off, just ahead of Clarke, leaving the blonde to follow her as she smiles and shakes her head at the brunette's antics. 

 

.

 

The last enclosure they visit is the otters, because while Clarke wanted to see the elephants first because they’re her favourite, Lexa wants to save the best for last. 

 

She takes Bella and holds her near the glass, so she can peer inside where otters are swimming around and playing together. 

 

“They’re cute, just like you,” Lexa whispers to Bella, not noticing Clarke behind them who can hear every word she says. And she also doesn’t notice when Clarke snaps a couple of pictures of them, before she crouches down with them. 

 

“Stop stealing my baby Woods,” Clarke teases. 

 

“I can’t help it,” Lexa replies, “She smells so good,” she says, hugging Bella closer. But then her nose scrunches up and she stands up, holding Bella at an arms width. “Actually no, she doesn’t. She smells like crap.”

 

“Language.” 

 

“Oops,” Lexa says apologetically, eyes wide as she bites her lip. 

 

“I guess that’s a sign for us to head off. There’s a restroom near the exit.” They set off, knowing that if they didn’t get Bella changed soon, she would start screaming their ears off. “God, two months in and I still hate changing diapers.” 

 

Lexa covers Bella’s ears with her hands and gasps exaggeratedly, “Don’t listen to your mean mommy, she loves your diapers.”

 

Clarke snorts and rolls her eyes, “You’re ridiculous.” 

 

“-ly awesome.” Clarke just quirks an eyebrow. “Ridiculously awesome,” Lexa repeats as Clarke takes Bella from her arms. “Come on Clarke! That was funny!” 

 

.

 

After changing Bella, they end up in the gift shop because Lexa insists on buying her something to commemorate their first trip to the zoo. 

 

Lexa wanders the aisles for a short while looking for the perfect gift, and when she presents it to Clarke the blonde just rolls her eyes light heartedly. 

 

“An otter? Really?” she teases. 

 

Lexa places the small toy in on Bella’s stomach where she lays in her stroller and her little hands immediately wrap around it as best as they can. 

 

Lexa’s eyes light up. 

 

“See, she loves it.” 

 

“You’re lucky I like you Woods, otherwise Bella would be going home with a toy elephant,” Clarke jokes and Lexa sticks her tongue out in retaliation. 

 

Lexa gently takes the toy from Bella so she can pay for it, but not before Clarke stops her with a hand on her forearm. 

 

“Thank you,” she says sincerely. 

 

Lexa’s heart flutters in her chest at the way Clarke looks at her. For a moment her mind goes back to their kiss and she wonders if Clarke thinks about it as much as she does. 

 

Lexa nods, “You know Bella’s got me wrapped around her finger,” she says, “and I’m pretty sure she doesn’t even know who I am.”

 

Clarke nudges Lexa’s shoulder, “Of course she does you goof. Let’s get going though, Bella needs a nap.”

 

“Don’t you mean you?” Lexa jokes and Clarke laughs. 

 

“She came out of me, Lexa. We’re basically the same person.”

 

“Gross Clarke.”

 

.

 

It’s a Sunday evening, and Lexa finds herself sitting on the floor watching as Bella plays on the floor as Clarke rushes around in the background getting ready. 

 

Clarke has an important event at the museum tonight and of course when Lexa found out, she offered up her services in the form of baby sitting. 

 

“Are you sure you’re going to be ok by yourselves?” Clarke asks as she comes to a stop next to them.

 

Lexa has to stop her jaw from dropping at the sight of her roommate, because _wow_ , she looks beautiful. Her hair is thrown over one shoulder in a messy kind of way that must have taken an hour to perfect, her make up looks flawless, and she is wearing a long black dress with a slit up the side, her heels making her legs look even better than normal, as if that were possible. 

 

“I- uhh…what?” Lexa stumbles, and she silently curses at herself for acting so dumb, and also for the thoughts running through her head that are definitely not acceptable when there is a baby around. 

 

Clarke chuckles, “I said, are you going to be alright looking after Bella by yourself.” 

 

“You make it sound like I haven’t known Bella the exact same amount of time as you have,” she jokes.

 

“Lexa.”

 

“We’re going to be fine,” Lexa assures. “And if anything bad happens, which it won’t,” she emphasises, “I’ll call you straight away.” 

 

“Ok good,” Clarke sighs. Lexa picks Bella up, placing her in her lap. 

 

“And if we’re not here when you get back it’s because we’re painting the town red!” she says, using her hands to wave Bella’s arms back and forth. 

 

“Lexa!” Clarke exclaims, but Lexa can hear the smile in her voice. 

 

“Relax, relax.” Lexa stands up and hands Bella to Clarke, knowing the new mother will want to say goodbye. “Everything’s going to be fine, and you are going to have a great museum party.” 

 

“A gala.”

 

“Potato tomato.”

 

Clarke cuddles Bella close to her, rocking her in her arms. “I’m going to miss you so much, you be good for Lexa and if she invites you out for a drink, say no.” 

 

Lexa giggles as Clarke shoots her a teasing look. 

 

“Shoot, there go our plans. Guess we’ll just have to spend the evening watching slasher movies,” Lexa shrugs. Clarke arches an eyebrow. “Fine! You wore me down! Slasher films scare me and we’re gonna watch cartoons.”

 

Clarke’s phone buzzes and her eyes widen. “Ok, that’s my ride to the gala,” Clarke hastily places Bella in Lexa’s arms and grabs her clutch. “Have fun tonight, I’ll see my two favourite girls later tonight.” 

 

Then Clarke presses a kiss to the top of Bella’s head and one to Lexa’s cheek, before dashing out the door. 

 

As it slams shut, Lexa holds Bella up so she can look at her in the eye. “You hear that Bella, we’re Clarke’s favourite girls.” 

 

.

 

A few weeks later Clarke decides it’s time for Bella’s first official trip to the park. Of course, both of them have walked through the park with Bella already, but they have never actually stopped in the park, or laid out on a blanket. 

 

It’s a very nice day, so Lexa easily agrees to the idea, and soon the three of them are strolling through the park trying to find the perfect place to set up base. 

 

They end up choosing a spot in between the climbing frames and an ice cream truck called Bob’s Ice’s, which also just happens to be under a large oak tree. 

 

Clarke takes a blanket from the underneath of Bella’s stroller and places it carefully on the ground as Lexa unstraps Bella from her seat. 

 

Bella’s blonde hair is getting longer, and as she grows, she begins to look like Clarke’ more and more. Today she is in a light blue and white striped onesie that Abby bought her a few weeks ago, and she looks adorable, though Lexa might be a little biased.

 

After they make sure that Bella is comfortable, Clarke and Lexa settle down on the blanket as well. Clarke snaps a few pictures of Bella as Lexa twirls a leaf in front of her. 

 

“God, I swore I was never going to be one of those moms that only posts on social media about my kid, yet here I am doing exactly that.”

 

“You can’t be blamed here, look at this little one, she’s so cute,” Lexa says. 

 

“Still, I’m ashamed,” Clarke replies, though Lexa can tell she’s joking. 

 

“What I wasn’t expecting was all of our friend’s to be just as bad,” Lexa laughs. “I swear every other Instagram Octavia posts is of Bella, and remember when Jasper came over the other night? The whole evening was on snapchat.”

 

Clarke laughs, “That’s true.”

 

“Don’t forget that Bellamy has nicknamed him and Bella, Bel 2  ,” Lexa chuckles. 

 

“That’s my fault, I shouldn’t have chosen a name so similar to his. Can you believe I didn’t even realise until like two weeks after she was born?” 

 

“Too bad you can’t change it,” Lexa jokes and Clarke rolls her eyes. 

 

Lexa leans over to Bella and peppers her face with kisses. “I’m just kidding Bella, your name is perfect.”

 

.

 

After some convincing from Lexa, Clarke finally lets her take Bella on the swing after Lexa promises to support her the entire time, as if she wasn’t going to do that anyway. 

 

“Clarke come with us,” Lexa says as she swoops Bella up into her arms. 

 

“Someone has to watch our stuff.”

 

Lexa glances over the swings, not too far away and then says, “The swings are right there, I think it’ll be ok.”

 

With that, they all head over to the swings and Lexa carefully places Bella in the baby swing. She holds a hand against her back, and uses her other one to gently rock the swing back and forth. 

 

Bella’s eyes light up and an adorable toothless smile appears. 

 

“Oh my god, she loves it,” Lexa beams. “She’s going to be a trapeze artist.” 

 

“Woah there Lightening McQueen, not so fast. I think you’re getting a little ahead of yourself,” Clarke teases. 

 

Lexa isn’t sure how long they stay at the swings (ok, it's like twenty minutes), but Bella loves it if her cute little laugh is anything to go by.

 

Eventually they decide it’ll be best to take her off so she doesn’t get too tired. Because then she’ll fall asleep, and won't tonight, and that’s just a whole other mess of a story. 

 

Clarke picks Bella up while Lexa puts her forefinger in her hand to hold as she begins to say, “Come on Bella, let’s go cloud gazing-“ only to be cut off by a woman stepping up to them. 

 

“Can I just say that you and your wife have a beautiful daughter,” the woman says, looking at Lexa.

 

She’s fairly attractive, with short wavy brunette hair, dressed in a pair of blue jeans, a loose v-neck shirt and a pair of worn pumps. Her whole outfit just screams ‘mom’. 

 

“Oh,” Lexa starts, taken slightly off guard, “Thank you,” she clears her throat just as a young boy probably around four years old runs straight into the woman’s legs and doesn’t let go, “And this must be your son?” 

 

“Yes, this is Tyler,” she says, placing a hand on the back of his head affectionately for a moment. Not a second later the kid runs off again, jumping onto the swings. 

 

“Cute,” Lexa says, unsure what else to say. “And, er, we’re not together,” she adds, gesturing between herself and Clarke. 

 

_Unfortunately_.

 

“Thank you though,” Clarke says. 

 

“Oh?” the woman asks, interest popping into her eyes as she looks Lexa up and down. Lexa however, just shifts awkwardly, especially when the woman steps forward and places a hand on her bicep. “I’m Amanda, and if you’re interested-“

 

“Actually, I think we were just about to get some ice-cream,” Lexa cuts her off. 

 

Amanda, thankfully, gets the hint and takes a step back. 

 

“Right, of course.” 

 

“I’m sorry?” Lexa says, uncomfortably. 

 

Amanda waves her hand as if she doesn’t care at all, “It’s fine,” she assures. But then she shouts, “Come on Tyler, we’re going!” 

 

And the woman is gone just as fast as she appeared. 

 

For a second, Lexa and Clarke just stand in silence, until Lexa bursts out laughing and Clarke joins in a second later. 

 

“God that was the most awkward thing that’s ever happened to me,” Lexa says, brushing a tear out of the corner of her eye. 

 

“I can’t believe she hit on you so blatantly with her kid like right there.” 

 

“Neither can I to be honest,” Lexa shakes her head. 

 

“I do feel a little bad for her though, she must be embarrassed by the way she ran off.” 

 

Lexa just shrugs, “Or she realised it wasn’t going anywhere.” 

 

“Either way, all I know now is that I could really go for some ice-cream since you brought it up.” 

 

Lexa grins, “You read my mind Griffin.”

 

They start towards the ice-cream truck, after Lexa throws a glance over at their spot by the tree just to do a quick check that everything is there, which it is. 

 

Now, the truck isn’t that far away at all, probably twenty or so meters, but in that time they somehow find their path blocked by yet another person. 

 

Except this time, Lexa recognises the woman. 

 

“Riley?” Lexa says, surprised. 

 

“Hello Lexa,” Riley says, her voice just as smooth as Lexa remembers, then she turns to Clarke and Bella, “And you’re Clarke, right?” 

 

Lexa watches as Clarke smiles and nods, though something seems off, yet she can’t quite place it. “That’s me.” 

 

“Who’s this little cutie?” Riley asks smiling down at Bella. 

 

“This is Bella,” Clarke says, “my daughter.” 

 

“She’s beautiful,” Riley says.

 

“I know,” Clarke replies, and Lexa gives her a look when her voice comes out short. “Lex, I’ll go get the ice cream while you guys catch up.” 

 

Lexa is about to tell Clarke that she doesn’t have too, but the blonde is already gone, striding away from her. 

 

“I have a feeling that Clarke doesn’t like me very much,” Riley says. 

 

“That’s ridiculous, she has no reason too,” Lexa brushes off. “Anyway, what are you doing here?” 

 

“This is on my way home from work. I was about to say hi when that other woman came up to you.”

 

Lexa blushes deeply, she feels it creeping down her neck. “Oh god, you saw that?”

 

Riley just laughs, “And heard everything. I’m just glad it wasn’t me being hit on like that,” she grins. “I also couldn’t help but hear that you and Clarke aren’t together.”

 

Lexa sighs, “Nope, not at _all_.”

 

“But something happened?” Riley guesses from the tone of Lexa’s voice, “Almost did?” 

 

“Damn you’re good,” Lexa says. “We,” she glances over at Clarke, who is still waiting in line for ice cream. “We kissed. It was the day Bella was born.”

 

“Oh wow. And nothing happened after?” Riley asks, genuinely interested.

 

“Nothing,” Lexa concurs. 

 

“Well damn, I’m sorry Lexa, that really does suck a bull’s ass.”

 

For some reason, the statement makes Lexa burst out laughing. Whether it’s because she hasn’t heard any swearing in a good few months, or the sadness of the whole situation, Lexa will never know. 

 

“Fuck, I’m a mess.” 

 

“A cute mess,” Riley assures. 

 

“God, not you too,” Lexa jokes and Riley chuckles. 

 

“Anyway, I don’t want you think I’m just a jackass, and I know you have feelings for someone else…but I think we had fun together last time and I wouldn’t mind seeing you again.”

 

“You want to hook up?” Lexa asks, surprised. 

 

Riley shrugs, “Or just be friends, I think you and I would get along.” 

 

“Uh…” Lexa looks over to Clarke again and sees her beginning to walk back. She looks beautiful, as always, but with the way the sun makes her blonde hair almost glow, she just looks radiant. “Let’s …let’s just start with friends.”

 

“Ok, friends it is,” Riley agrees with an easy smile. “Do you still have my number?” she asks. And Lexa shakes her head no, a light blush on her cheeks. “That’s cool, hey hand me your phone,” she says and Lexa does. 

 

A minute later Lexa has Riley’s number programmed in. 

 

“Thanks,” Lexa says as Riley hands her phone back. Behind the red head, Lexa sees Clarke making her way back over. 

 

“No pressure, but text me if you feel like hanging out.” 

 

“Um yeah, I will,” Lexa agrees. 

 

“Great,” Riley says with a wide smile. “Bye Lexa. Nice seeing you again Clarke. Bye Bella.”

 

And then she goes, presumably heading home. 

 

Lexa watches Riley leave for a few seconds before she turns to Clarke, who holds a vanilla cone out to her, which Lexa takes with a ‘thank you’. 

 

They begin to walk back to their blanket when Clarke says, “So that was crazy running into her, here.”

 

“Yeah I guess,” Lexa agrees, “She does live around here I think, so it was bound to happen at some point.” 

 

“What did you talk about?” 

 

_You_.

 

“Oh not much, just a quick catch up I guess.”

 

Lexa thinks that Clarke might not believe her by the way she nods, but Clarke doesn’t say anything so Lexa doesn’t either. 

 

“That’s good,” Clarke finally says. 

 

“Yeah. I think, I think she wants to meet up sometime, Riley seemed pretty interested in being friends.” 

 

“Are you going to?” 

 

“Meet up with her?” Clarke nods. “I mean, probably, from what I remember she was a pretty cool person.”

 

“Yeah, she does.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

The surprise meeting up with Riley seems to throw the whole mood off balance with Lexa not sure what to say to Clarke anymore. 

 

They go home soon after that. 

 

.

 

A week later, and what was supposed to be a girls night, has been crashed by the boys and now most of Lexa and Clarke’s friends are relaxing around their apartment, each with a face mask on. 

 

“Why have I never done this before?” Lincoln asks as Octavia finishes spreading the clay mask on his face. “This smells amazing.”

 

“And it’s so relaxing,” Bellamy adds.

 

“Why are you guys even here? It’s girls night,” Clarke says. 

 

“Because Bella’s here, duh,” Monty says from his spot on the floor, as he plays with Bella. 

 

Lexa is sprawled out over the sofa, with her legs on Anya’s lap as she scrolls through her phone. A message pings through, and she notices it’s from Riley. 

 

She had decided to text Riley after all, it had taken a few days of thinking about before she sent her first message, because she is still very much in love with Clarke Griffin. But the more the thought about it, the more she realised that Clarke probably doesn’t feel the same way (she would have brought up the kiss otherwise, right?), and so even though her feelings for her best friend are definitely not going anywhere, she didn’t see the harm in talking to Riley and maybe hanging out with her. 

 

“God Lexa, that’s like the tenth time your phone’s buzzed, who are you texting? Everyone you know is in this room,” Raven asks. 

 

“Just a friend,” Lexa says vaguely. 

 

“Again, everyone you know is in this room.”

 

“It’s probably Riley,” Clarke announces and Lexa sends her a look.

 

Ever since Lexa started texting Riley a few days ago, Clarke has been acting slightly off. She’s not ignoring Lexa, or being mean or acting upset by anything but Lexa can tell that something is wrong. Call it best friend intuition. 

 

“Who’s Riley?” Anya asks, with an arch of her eyebrow. 

 

“I met her a couple months ago, and then ran into her at the park last week when we were there with Bella. It’s no big deal,” Lexa assures, because it really isn’t. 

 

Unfortunately her friends have no sense of boundaries, or any way to accurately measure situations because they immediately make it a massive deal. 

 

“What!” Octavia exclaims, “And you didn’t tell us?” 

 

“What does she do?” Bellamy questions. 

 

“How did you meet her?” Anya asks. 

 

“Are you seeing her again soon?” Monty speaks up. 

 

“Is she hot?” Jasper asks.

 

“What did she just text you?” Raven finishes. 

 

Lexa waits until the barrage of questions is over before she even bothers speaking. 

 

“I didn’t tell you because it’s no big deal. She’s an elementary school teacher. I met her at that bar we always go to on fifth. I don’t know when I’m seeing her next, and yes you could say she’s attractive,” Lexa answers. “Also I have no idea what she just messaged me because you idiots are too busy asking me questions for me to check.” 

 

“I’ll look,” Anya says, and before Lexa can protest her phone is swiped from her hands. 

 

“Ohh, looks like someone was asked out on a date,” Anya smirks. She begins to type, “I would love to-“

 

“Anya give that back!” Lexa shouts, but Anya just leans further away. 

 

“have a few drinks with you… and send.” She tosses Lexa her phone back and Lexa’s eyes widen when she realises Anya actually texted Riley. 

 

“God I hate you.” 

 

“You were gonna say yes, anyway, right?” 

 

“I don’t know,” Lexa shrugs, “And she just asked me as friends, I don’t want to date her.”

 

“What? Why?” 

 

Lexa stops herself from looking in Clarke’s direction. It hasn’t gone unnoticed by Lexa how silent Clarke has been in this whole conversation. 

 

“It doesn’t matter. Excuse me, I’m going to go wipe off my mask.”

 

Lexa makes her leave, ignoring the teasing that is called after her. She goes to the bathroom, because she really does want to take the mask off. And she almost shuts the door, when a foot is placed in between the gap, topping it from closing. 

 

Raven steps into the bathroom then, shutting the door behind her. 

 

“So you’re seeing someone?” she asks. 

 

“Raven.”

 

“I thought you have feelings for Clarke?” 

 

“Shush!” Lexa exclaims, “And I do.”

 

“Then what are you doing?” 

 

“Look, I slept with Riley once a couple months ago and it was supposed to just be a one time thing. But then I saw her at the park and she said she wants to be friends. She knows how I feel about Clarke, Raven.And she’s actually a really good person from what I can tell, like, genuinely good.”

 

“But Clarke-“

 

“Clarke clearly doesn’t feel the same about me. I can’t keep pining after my best friend, it’s…it’s killing me Raven,” Lexa says, her voice defeated. 

 

“Come here,” Raven says and Lexa lets herself be pulled into a hug. “I’m sorry, I just think you and Clarke would be good together.”

 

“Me too,” Lexa says sadly. She pulls away from the hug. “But don’t you think it would be healthy to try and move on? ” 

 

“Yeah, you’re right,” Raven agrees. 

 

“Thank you,” Lexa says, “And just so you know, I’m not trying to move on with Riley, I really am only interested in being her friend… maybe with some benefits,” she adds and Raven smirks. “But I’m definitely not looking for a relationship right now.”

 

“I believe you,” Raven says sincerely. “Ok, now lets wipe this gunk of our faces. I can’t tell you how hard it was for me to have a serious conversation with us looking like this.

 

.

 

Lexa is just stepping out the bathroom, freshly showered, when Clarke skids down the hallway in her socks, her wide eyes. 

 

“Come quick it’s Bella!” she gasps and then she’s gone again.

 

Lexa’s legs are moving before she realises it, clutching her towel to her body, she sprints down the hallway and into the living room. 

 

She expects to see Bella unconscious on the floor, or being attacked by a bear, or something else of that nature. 

But instead she finds Bella standing herself up in front of the sofa, taking a couple hesitant steps before plopping back down onto the floor. 

 

Lexa’s jaw drops, “Did she just walk?” she asks, her voice in shock. “She just walked!”

 

Clarke swoops Bella up in her arms and spins her around. 

 

“Bella! You walked!” Clarke squeals. 

 

“Oh my god that was amazing,” Lexa says, she wraps her arms around Bella and Clarke, hugging them both close, and pressing a kiss to Bella’s cheek who just smiles happily, completely unaware of her amazing feat. “Only took you ten months,” Lexa jokes. “What’s the little monster doing up anyways? Her bedtime was like twenty minutes ago.” 

 

“She wouldn’t stop crying so I brought her out here for a little bit.” 

 

“Clarke,” Lexa says, warningly. 

 

“I know I’m not supposed too, but I can’t help it,” Clarke almost whines. 

 

“We should put her to bed now,” Lexa says. 

 

“Or we could try and get her to walk one more time?” 

 

Lexa hesitates, because she’s read enough books to know the importance of putting a baby to bed at the right time, but when Lexa looks at a very wide awake Bella, she crumbles. 

 

“Fine.” 

 

Clarke beams. 

 

“Here take her, I’m going to get my phone.” 

 

Lexa and Clarke manage to get her to walk a few steps once more, before her eyes get droopy and they realise it’s time for bed. Lexa checks the time on Clarke’s phone and her eyes almost bug out of their sockets. Because she’s late, and she’s still only dressed in a towel.

 

“Fuck! I’m gonna be so late,” Lexa says, bolting up right. She scrambles to her feet as gracefully as she can in a towel. 

 

Lexa has been spending time with Riley over the last few months. She discovered that the school Riley teaches at is relatively close to the architecture firm where she works, so every so often they have lunch together. 

 

It’s strange for Lexa at first, because Riley is her friend, and her friend only. She’s not used to that, she’s used to their close group of eight who know everything about everyone. It’s different, but it’s also nice. 

 

And it’s not that Lexa means for Riley and her friends to never hang out, it’s just that Lexa doesn’t feel comfortable (if that’s even the right word) with it. And of course, Riley being who she is, doesn’t mind at all.

 

“Where are you going?” Clarke asks curiously. 

 

“I’m seeing Riley for drinks. Shit I need to text her.” 

 

And then Lexa rushes back to her bedroom, completely missing the crestfallen look on Clarke’s face. 

 

When Lexa resurfaces twenty minutes later, she’s dressed in black jeans, a white tank top and a leather jacket, her hair pulled back into a high pony tail and her eyeliner perfectly winged. 

 

She finds Clarke still in the living room, lying on the sofa with her phone in her hands, most likely watching the video they took over again. Clarke looks so comfortable and adorable dressed in her sweatpants and old college t-shirt, that Lexa almost wishes she wasn’t going out and that they could just watch movies together all night, but she already texted Riley that she was going to be there soon. 

 

“How do I look?” Lexa asks, holding out her arms. 

 

Clarke sits up, “Hot,” she says after a quick scan. 

 

Lexa fights the blush that wants to appear on her cheeks. “I’ve gotta head off, I’ll be quiet when I come back.”

 

“Ok,” Clarke says, her smile slightly more forced than normal. “Be safe.”

 

“Always am.” 

 

Lexa is about to go when Clarke stops her, saying “Wait one second.” The blonde stands up, and tugs Lexa’s tank top down a little further, revealing more of her cleavage. Lexa looks at Clarke curiously. “A little more cleavage never hurt anyone,” she says, smiling again, but it still doesn’t reach her eyes. 

 

“Thanks,” Lexa says after a beat. 

 

Then she takes her leave. Lexa rushes down the hallway so she isn’t even more late than she already is, but as she goes, her mind is still on Clarke. Because she can’t understand that girl at all. On the one hand she looks upset about her seeing Riley, and then Clarke goes and tugs her tank top down when she knows Lexa is having drinks with her? 

 

Lexa shakes her head. 

 

Clarke has always been some what of an enigma to everyone, always difficult to read. 

 

But never to Lexa. 

 

The brunette can’t help but wonder, if the book has become harder, or if maybe she’s becoming illiterate. 

 

.

 

When Lexa arrives at her usual bar, Riley is already there. Lexa finds her at a tall table, sitting on a stool, and entertaining a man who stands next to her. 

 

Lexa makes her way over, and they make eye contact over the guy’s shoulder. Riley smiles. 

 

“Lexa, hey,” Riley calls over to her. The guy turns around to look at her, and Lexa’s not surprised that he’s relatively handsome. “David, this is Lexa, the friend I told you I was waiting for,” Riley says as Lexa slides onto the other free stool. 

 

“Lexa huh,” David says with a slimy grin that Lexa immediately hates. She was going to be polite to the man, but the smile says everything going on in his head, and Lexa doesn’t like it one bit. “Mind if I join you two gorgeous ladies for a drink?” 

 

It looks as if Riley is about to answer, but Lexa beats her to it. 

 

“No. Go away,” Lexa states. 

 

Lexa seems to take David back by her curt answer by the way his eyebrows raise. “Oh but-“ 

 

“I don’t care. Go away,” she repeats. 

 

Thankfully, David seems to get the message and he sulks away with his tail between his legs. 

 

“Phew, my hero” Riley grins. “Thank god you got here when you did. He wouldn’t go away!”

 

“No problem, sorry I’m late, by the way,” Lexa apologises. 

 

“Don’t worry about it,” Riley shrugs. “I got you a beer,” she says sliding the pint over to Lexa. 

 

“I’m late and you still get me a drink, I guess I’ll have to keep you around,” Lexa teases. 

 

Riley laughs, “I guess so. What kept you anyway, if you don’t mind me asking.”

 

Lexa’s eyes light up at the memory of Bella’s first steps. She immediately pulls out her phone and opens up the camera roll. 

 

“Bella took her first steps tonight, it was incredible.” 

 

She angles the screen towards Riley who watches with interest. “She’s gotten so big since I last saw her.” 

 

“I know, it’s so scary. God, you must be sick of how much I talk about Bella,” Lexa says with a laugh. 

 

Riley grins and shakes her head, her red hair that she’s styled in waves bounce lightly. “Are you kidding? I love hearing about her.” 

 

“Enough about my kid, what about yours?” Lexa asks. 

 

Riley launches into a a few stories about her students. There is one who had been collecting dead insects in his desk for the last semester and how the stash of dead bugs have only just been found now. Another student got her head stuck between two bars on the playground and had to be sawed out of them, and another one who had been taught how to draw penises by his older brother and had been drawing them all over his work. 

 

Lexa laughs at each story and says she can’t believe how much can happen in so little time. Riley says that kids are crazy, but that’s what makes them so wonderful. 

 

They continue to catch up on the rest of their week, having not had the chance to see each other, Lexa recounting how one of the senior architects is being a pain in the ass about one of the models she is making for him. After her internship ended, the company hired her officially and so now she spends her time making models and doing 3D visualisation. Lexa still remembers how Clarke cooked her a huge meal and bought nice wine as a celebration.

 

.

 

It is still only a Thursday, which is why Lexa and Riley agreed to have early drinks together. But conversations flow, and so does the beer and soon it’s almost 11 o’clock. 

 

The pair settle their tab, and head out the doors of the bar, that is oddly busy for a Thursday night. 

 

“Shit, I have work tomorrow,” Lexa says when she realises she might be a little more than tipsy. 

 

“At least you don’t have to work with kids. Is it illegal to teach hungover?” Riley jokes with a laugh. 

 

“Shut up, you don’t get hangovers,” Lexa says. 

 

“Well neither do you.”

 

“I do however have to somehow figure out how to get into my apartment quietly, and not wake a ten month old baby.” 

 

Riley quirks a perfectly sculpted eyebrow, “You could always come home with me.” 

 

.

 

Lexa wakes to an incredibly annoying alarm at way to early of a time. She scrambles to turn off the sound, sighing with relief as she finds the off button on Riley’s alarm clock. The sheets pool around her naked waist. 

 

“Jesus, why the fuck is that your alarm sound?” Lexa asks. 

 

“It’s the only thing that wakes me up,” Riley admits, her face still buried in her pillow. 

 

Lexa flops back onto the bed and shuts her eyes again. “What time is it?” she asks, having not checked even when she turned off the alarm. 

 

Riley rolls onto her back, “Six,” she answers. 

 

“Dude what the fuck.” 

 

“You think it doesn’t take time to get my face to look the way it does?” 

 

Lexa takes a second to glance at Riley’s face, who’s eyes are still closed. Even without make up, she still looks pretty damn perfect. It’s kind of annoying. 

 

“Actually yes.” 

 

“Fucking charmer,” Riley replies, though her lips form a smile. 

 

“I should probably get going,” Lexa says, “I still have to get ready for work.” 

 

“You don’t want breakfast?” Riley asks, “I can whip something up.”

 

“Nah it’s fine,” Lexa assures. “I’ll grab an apple from home.”

 

Lexa walks around Riley’s room and finds her clothes from where they had been thrown the night before. When she turns back around, Riley is laying on her side, gazing at her. 

 

“Enjoyed the show?” Lexa asks. 

 

“It was alright, I prefer it when the clothes are coming off, usually.” 

 

Lexa snorts and rolls her eyes. “Then I apologise,” she says sarcastically, making Riley grin. 

 

“I’ll walk you out.”

 

Riley pulls on an oversized shirt that falls just below her butt, to walk her to the front door. She kisses her chastely and tells her that she had a good time last night, and Lexa says the same and they make plans to have coffee sometime next week. 

 

Then Lexa begins to head back to her own apartment. 

 

She decides to walk, because it’s not far and the fresh air will wake her up. As she walks her mind can’t help but drift back to the night before. 

 

It is the first time they’ve slept together since they’ve begun hanging out as friends. In all honestly, Lexa was beginning to only think of Riley as a friend, the kind of friend that she wouldn’t sleep with (again anyway), but apparently she had been wrong. 

 

Lexa can’t lie, she had fun with Riley last night, both at the bar and after. And she wonders, if maybe she’s moving on from Clarke after all. 

 

.

 

As it turns out, Lexa isn’t. 

 

She isn’t moving on at all. 

 

Any time Clarke so much smiles in her direction, butterflies seem to swarm in her stomach.

 

Her heart races any time she touches her arm.

 

Her hands begin to sweat if Clarke ever presses a kiss to her cheek. 

 

So, no. 

 

Lexa’s not moving on at all. 

 

(And if she’s being honest. Does she really want too?)

 

 

.

 

Tomorrow, Bella turns one year old and Lexa can’t quite believe a whole year has passed already. 

 

Every year seems to pass by faster and faster, and Lexa hates it. She hates it even more now that Bella is around, she just wishes time would slow down, so she could savour it more. But unfortunately, she isn’t a superhero, so that isn’t an option. 

 

For the last week, Clarke and Lexa have been planning Bella’s first birthday and as the day comes closer, Clarke becomes more and more stressed, though Lexa knows that it’s really because Clarke is afraid of her daughter getting older. 

 

“Clarke, you know you could give Bella a pen and she would be the happiest baby in the world, right?” Lexa says as they walk through the aisles of the toy store. 

 

Bella is with Jake and Abby for the day while Clarke and Lexa complete the finishing touches on her birthday, and that includes getting a present. 

 

Clarke originally ordered Bella’s present online, but today she got an email saying that it wasn’t going to be delivered for another few days, and so Clarke grabbed Lexa and they all but ran to the store. 

 

“She needs to know I love her.” 

 

“You know she already knows that, material possessions won’t add to it. Plus, she’s one, she puts her own foot in her mouth. I’m not saying that’s not impressive, but also, you know, gross.” 

 

“Oh my god, you’re ridiculous,” Clarke laughs. 

 

Lexa stops Clarke, and places her hands on her shoulders. “You give Bella an amazing life Clarke, and tomorrow is going to be great too.”

 

“I know, and I know it’s not really a big thing, she won’t remember it. I just wish she wasn’t growing up so fast,” Clarke says, her eyes watering. 

 

Lexa pulls Clarke into her side, “She’s growing into a beautiful girl. And think on the bright side, soon she’ll be old enough to wipe her own butt.”

 

That really makes Clarke laugh, and Lexa thinks her smile is stunning. 

 

“Ok, ok. I’m better now. Let’s find a gift. What did you get her?”

 

“A couple books,” Lexa shrugged, “I like reading with her.”

 

“Damnit that’s good.” 

 

.

 

Of course Bella’s party goes off without a hitch. There’s really no way for it to mess up, because it’s just a bunch of adults gathered together with a baby. 

 

But they eat way too much cake and have a good time. 

 

By the time everyone has left, Lexa is tired, and so she grabs Bella and lies on the floor with her. 

 

“You’re lucky you only had a few bites of cake Bella, I can barely move.” 

 

“Or if you had some resemblance of self control,” Clarke says as she sits down next to them. 

 

“Hey now, I have self control,” Lexa replies. 

 

Clarke pokes her stomach and Lexa groans. “Tell that to your food baby. Maybe you’re the one who’s pregnant this time,” she jokes. 

 

Normally, Lexa doesn’t bring up Riley around Clarke because it’s weird for her, but this time she doesn’t think before she speaks, “Unless Riley hasn’t told me something, then I don’t think so,” she jokes. 

 

A pause. 

 

“So you have been,” Clarke covers Bella’s ears, “sleeping with her.” 

 

“Oh, yeah, I guess.” 

 

“You guess?” Clarke quirks an eyebrow. 

 

“I mean, yes.”

 

“You never really talk about her, so I didn’t know.” 

 

“Oh, I just didn’t think it was important,” Lexa excuses lamely. 

 

“Lexa, you’re my best friend. Everything in your life is important to me.” 

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“You should invite her over.”

 

“Huh?” 

 

“You should invite Riley over for the movie night next weekend,” Clarke elaborates. 

 

“Are you sure?” Lexa asks. “We’re not dating, we’re just friends.” 

 

“Well, don’t you think we should know her then?” Clarke asks. 

 

And Lexa has a feeling she really means, Clarke should know her. It makes sense, Clarke is her best friend after all, she should know Lexa’s friends. 

 

“No, yeah. I do. I’ll invite her.”

 

.

 

Lexa is sitting at the kitchen table when Clarke comes and sits down on the chair opposite her, a worried expression on her face. 

 

“Are you ok?” Lexa asks. 

 

“I’m just worried,” Clarke replies, “Bella hasn’t said her first word yet. I read that at 12 months babies start to say their first word.”

 

“Clarke, Bella turned one like four days ago. I think she’s got some leeway here.” 

 

“Yeah, you’re right I’m being dumb,” Clarke sighs. “Hows working going?” she asks, gesturing to the model Lexa is working on. 

 

“It’s alright,” Lexa sighs. 

 

“Is that the one you were working on last week too?” Clarke asks. 

 

“Yeah, this dumb senior architect wants the dumb drive way to have more dumb realistic looking bricks.”

 

“Sounds dumb.”

 

“It is!” Lexa exclaims. 

 

Silently, Clarke gets up. She walks around the table until she’s standing behind Lexa, then she places her hands on her shoulders and begins to knead. Lexa’s eyes flutter shut. 

 

“Wow you are really tight,” Clarke says, pressing more firmly and a shiver goes down Lexa’s spine. 

 

“Just stressed, I guess.”

 

“You need to tell me these things Lexa, I can help you relax.” 

 

Lexa wonders if Clarke knows how her words sound, she wonders if she knows what kind of images they put in her head. 

 

“You already have work and Bella to worry about,” Lexa tells her. 

 

“You worry just as much about Bella as I do,” Clarke replies. 

 

And it’s true, Lexa has to give her that. 

 

“Ok, I’ll be better.” 

 

“Good,” Clarke says. “Come on, lay down on the sofa and I’ll give you a proper back massage.” 

 

Before she even realises it, Lexa is up out of her chair and laying down on the sofa. What she doesn’t expect is for Clarke to climb onto her back, sitting on top of her butt, and she has to hold back a moan. 

 

Clarke’s hands are like magic. 

 

Lexa is positive Clarke must have taken some kind of class, because this is one of the best massages she’s ever had. 

 

Her fingers press down with just the right amount of pressure, at just the right spots that have her drooling onto the pillow under her head. 

 

But what doesn’t help her relaxing, is the way Clarke shifts on top of her every so often, her hips subconsciously rubbing down, or the way her breath comes out in soft pants from the exertion of giving the massage. 

 

And when Clarke says, “Does this feel good?” in her husky voice, way too close to her ear, Lexa can’t help but feel heat pool in her lower belly. 

 

Lexa wants to answer, but suddenly she can’t find her voice. 

 

Clarke leans even closer, “Lexa?” she asks, and Lexa practically melts. 

 

Lexa is about to answer, when suddenly Bella’s cries can be heard through the baby monitor. 

 

“Shit,” Clarke mutters. 

 

And then she is gone. The pressure above her leaves and Clarke’s hands no longer roam over her back, as Clarke climbs off her and jogs into Bella’s room. 

 

Lexa sits up, her breath heavily as she watches Clarke disappear. 

 

“Shit,” Lexa says, as she sits back on the sofa and Lexa is sure she’s never felt so turned on in her life.

 

.

 

The massage, like their kiss, is never brought up. And Lexa wonders if she is reading too much into these things. 

 

It’s movie night. Clarke hadn’t planned on Bella going to her parents, but when Clarke had casually mentioned that they were having one, Abby instantly offered to take her for the night. Though she guessed it was more for her benefit. 

 

Lexa walks out of her bedroom dressed in comfy clothes, not a trace of make up on her face, carrying the pillows from her bed, her duvet and some spare blankets. She deposits them in front of the TV, as Clarke does the same. 

 

All of a sudden, there is a knock at the door. Lexa looks at Clarke surprised. None, of their friends ever turn up on time. 

 

Their silent question is answered when Lexa answers the door, and Riley is standing on the other side, dressed in yoga pants and a over sized sweatshirt.

 

“Hey, you’re here,” Lexa says in way of greeting. They hug before Riley steps into the apartment. 

 

“I am. Am I the first one?” she asks. 

 

“Well, you’re on time. So yes,” Clarke says.

 

"You could've warned me," Riley teases Lexa, who just shrugs with a grin. “Hello Clarke,” she says.

 

“Riley.” 

 

They hug, and it’s a bit awkward. They’ve known of each other for a while now, but this is the first real time that they’re going to be hanging out. 

 

Riley holds up the carrier bag she is holding. 

 

“I brought beer,” she says and Clarke grins. 

 

“My kinda girl.” 

 

And just like that, the ice is broken. 

 

It’s strange for Lexa, not because she doesn’t want Clarke and Riley getting along, but because they are. Clarke is Lexa’s best friend she has feelings for, Riley is her friend that she’s currently sleeping with. And so for Lexa, it’s definitely something to wrap her head around. 

 

But she’s happy. She wants them to like each other. And as it turns out, they do. 

 

Octavia, Raven and Anya all arrive soon after, all dressed ready for a movie night. Anya produces wine, while Octavia offers cupcakes and Raven announces that her presence is enough of a gift. 

 

They end up watching some classic chick flicks, because why not, and get tipsy on beer and wine.

 

Lexa discovers that Riley fits in really well with the other girls, sharing something in common with each of them. As it turns out Riley knows a lot about mechanics from her mother, she shares a love for adventure activities like Octavia, and can quote Star Wars almost as perfectly as Anya. 

 

A few times through the night, Raven sends her some looks, but Lexa chooses to ignore them.

 

.

 

When she wakes up the next morning, she is still in the living room, on the sofa, with a body on top of her. At first she thinks it’s Clarke, but after she opens her eyes, a flash of red hair catches her eye and she realises it is in fact Riley. 

 

She ignores the rush of disappointment that courses through her. 

 

“I have to pee,” Lexa whispers to her.

 

“Too bad, you’re comfy.”

 

“I will pee on you,” Lexa warns and reluctantly Riley climbs off of her, just long enough for Lexa to stand up. Then Riley face plants the sofa again. 

 

Lexa creeps towards the bathroom, but not before she notices Clarke already away looking at her. Lexa mouths ‘good morning’ then slips past her and heads to the bathroom. 

 

When she finishes, she heads into the kitchen to grab a glass of water, only to find Clarke already in there with one ready for her. 

 

She takes it gratefully. 

 

“So, you and Riley are cute together,” Clarke says. 

 

Lexa shrugs, “I mean, we’re not together or anything.” 

 

“I know,” Clarke nods, “But... how come?” 

 

Lexa hesitates, Clarke has never asked her this before. Finally she says, “I guess, I just know she’s not the one.” 

 

“Really? She seems pretty perfect to me.” 

 

_She’s not. She’s not you._

 

“We get along really well, we have fun,” Lexa says instead, “But she’s not the one. I think we both know that.”

 

“Yeah?” Clarke asks. 

 

Lexa sees something flash in Clarke’s eyes. It is only there for a second, before it disappears again. 

 

If Lexa imagines hard enough, she might believe it was hope.

 

 


	3. the middle: part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is slightly shorter than the others. and thank you for the comments on the last chapter, I'm glad that most of you enjoyed it :)
> 
> Also for those of you who are becoming impatient with Lexa, keep in mind that this fic is supposed to be slowburn, and if it's not your thing, you don't have to read.

**** It happens on a regular Wednesday evening. Lexa and Clarke are in the kitchen preparing dinner together like they have on hundreds of other occasions. 

 

Lexa is standing by the kitchen counter,chopping up vegetables while Clarke cooks the chicken on the stove. Bella is behind them, sitting perched in her high chair playing with Clarke’s keys that she has recently become obsessed with. 

 

“So is Mr Schneider still being a poop?” Clarke asks.

 

A small smile appears at Clarke’s use of the word poop instead of swearing. She nods. 

 

“Yeah, unfortunately. Today he-“

 

Loud jingling of keys interrupts her, and both women look over to Bella who is banging the keys against her high top table. 

 

“Food’s almost ready Bella don’t worry,” Clarke assures, before she goes back to cooking. 

 

“Anyway, today Schneider had the nerve to say that my-“ Once again, keys hitting against the table interrupts her. 

 

“Bella, no,” Clarke says, “Don’t do that.” 

 

She starts to go over to Bella to take the keys from her, when all of a sudden Bella says, “Mama.” 

 

And Clarke freezes. 

 

Lexa’s jaw drops and she spins around to face the toddler. 

 

“Did she just-“ 

 

“She said-“ 

 

“Oh my god!” Clarke exclaims. She rushes over to Bella, who clearly knows something good is happening by the way she smiles. 

 

“Bella just said mama,” Lexa says, in shock. 

 

Clarke whisks Bella up into her arms, and hugs her close, “Oh my sweet beautiful girl,” Clarke gushes. 

 

“Mamamama,” Bella babbles. 

 

“Holy shit that’s adorable,” Lexa says. 

 

“Language.” 

 

“Come on, I can’t help! Our little Bella just said her first word!” Lexa squeals, a wide smile on her lips. 

 

She looks at Clarke, who’s eyes are shimmering with happy tears. She wants to pull Clarke in for a tight hug, so she does, wrapping her arms around both of her girls. Lexa presses a kiss to the top of Bella’s head with a loud smacking noise. 

 

The chicken gets burnt slightly, and dinner is slightly later than normal. 

 

But it doesn’t matter. 

 

Bella is all that matters. 

 

.

 

Later that evening, it’s Bella’s bedtime. They had all been relaxing in the living room, watching Finding Dory. Clarke was snuggled up in a blanket, while Lexa laid on the sofa, with Bella on her stomach. 

 

So Lexa offered to put her to get her ready for bed. 

 

Now, Lexa stands in front of the changing table, as she changes Bella’s diaper one last time before she puts her down to sleep. 

 

For some reason, Lexa actually doesn’t mind changing diapers, not anymore at least. There isn’t really much to it once you get the order down and Lexa enjoys spending that much more time with the toddler. 

 

Lexa unbuttons Bella’s onesie, Bella giggles when she tickles her fingers on her bare stomach. Then she undresses Bella swiftly, before laying her back down. 

 

She makes quick work of the diaper, making sure Bella’s all clean and dry before putting a new one on her. 

 

Once she’s happy that Bella will be comfortable, she begins to speak to her just as she always does when she puts her to bed. 

 

“You have the cutest round belly ever,” Lexa says, blowing raspberries on her stomach, “And the cutest little fingers,” Lexa says, pressing a kiss to her tiny hand. “And the most adorable chubby cheeks,” she says, rubbing her thumbs over her cheeks gently. 

 

“Mama,” Bella chatters. 

 

Lexa’s eyebrows raise in surprise and she’s quick to correct in a hushed tone, “No no, Bella. I’m not your mama, I’m Lexa. Lexa,” she says again, more slowly this time. 

 

“Mama,” Bella says again. 

 

“Lexa,” she repeats.

 

What Lexa doesn’t see, is Clarke standing behind her watching the whole spectacle with a soft smile on her lips. 

 

.

 

It’s the early hours of the morning and Lexa lays in bed wide awake. Next to her, Riley breathes softly in her sleep, and moonlight shines into the bedroom through the window that they forgot to close the blinds over. 

 

It had been a long week at work. Lexa has applied for a job at the architectural firm she is interning at, and so now she is trying her hardest all the time, to prove to them that she is worth keeping on. Only it’s difficult when the senior architect she works under the most, is an old man with incredibly strong opinions. 

 

It’s why she had called Riley in the first place, she needed to… let off some steam. And while it was fun, all Lexa wishes now is that she was in her own bed, in her own apartment, with Clarke and Bella in the next rooms. 

 

She wants to wake up, and wander into the kitchen and see Clarke and Bella already up. She wants to hear the little giggle Bella does every time she sees her, and Clarke’s messy morning hair. 

 

But she knows it’s her fault that she won’t get those things, she’s the one who called Riley, who arrived at her door and kissed her first. 

 

She knows that if she could just get over her fear of talking to Clarke about her feelings, something amazing could happen. But her insecurities are to high, she has so much to lose if it goes wrong. And she knows, that she can’t do, not yet anyway. 

 

Lexa sighs deeply. 

 

She rolls over on her side. 

 

And she must have woken Riley up somehow, because she feels her arm drape over her waist. 

 

“Are you ok?” Riley asks, in a sleepy voice. 

 

“I’m fine, go back to sleep,” Lexa says. 

 

And she does. 

 

Lexa closes her eyes, and when sleep finally comes, she dreams of blue eyes and blonde hair. 

 

.

 

The sun is high in the sky and it’s a beautiful day, the perfect day to visit Abby and Jake’s house for the barbecue they’re throwing. 

 

So after making sure that they have everything Bella needs, including toys to keep her entertained, the three of them jump in a taxi and head to the suburbs of Polis where Clarke’s parents live. 

 

Their house is a decent size, big enough to happily fit the Griffin family, when Clarke lived there. The front garden is small but well kept, and Lexa is sure that the back garden is just as green. 

 

Clarke pays the taxi driver, as Lexa gather their belongings from the trunk.Then they make their way up to the house. 

 

“I haven’t spent time here in what feels like ages,” Clarke says. 

 

“Does it look the same?” Lexa asks. 

 

“Exactly the same.”

 

Clarke pushes open the front door, not bothering to knock on her old front door. The sound of chatter can be heard, both in the house and coming from the back yard and Lexa wonders how big of a barbecue this is going to be. 

 

“Did I just hear the front door open?” Lexa hears Abby say. Then the older woman appears, a smile appearing when she see’s her daughter and granddaughter, “Clarke! You’re finally here.” 

 

Clarke hugs her mom in greeting as she rolls her eyes, “We’re only a little bit late mom.” 

 

Abby just waves her off, taking Bella from her arms immediately. “Hello little one,” she says, holding Bella close. 

 

“Of course you love Bella more than me.” 

 

Abby ignores her daughter, going over to Lexa and wrapping one arm around her as best she can with a toddler in her arms. 

 

“And hello Lexa, nice to see you again sweetie.” 

 

“Sorry we’re late Abby, this one,” she says nudging Bella’s arm gently with her fingertips, “decided to ruin a diaper right as we left the apartment, so we had to go back and change her.” 

 

“Oh it’s alright Lexa, I was only pulling Clarke’s leg,” Abby says with a smile, “Come out into the back, we have plenty of food already ready and Clarke you need to say hello to your father.” 

 

Then Abby is gone, disappearing into the house and taking Bella with her. 

 

“Well then I guess my daughter is being taken from me,” Clarke says, as she watches her mom leave. 

 

Lexa laughs, “I guess so.” 

 

Then they both hear, “Is that Clarke and Lexa I hear?!” shouted really loudly. 

 

Clarke looks to Lexa, “Is that-“

 

“Raven?” Lexa finishes. 

 

The girl in question rounds the corner, a glass of wine in one hand and a hotdog in the other. Always the picture of class. 

 

Lexa and Clarke hug Raven, both still confused. They hadn’t realised she would be here today. 

 

“Raven, what are you doing here?” Clarke asks. 

 

“Your mom invited us, duh,” Raven says. 

 

“Us?” Lexa says, arching an eyebrow. 

 

“Yeah the whole gang is here, unlike you guys we got here on time.” 

 

“My mom never tells me anything,” Clarke huffs. “And you never said anything.” 

 

“I know,” Raven laughs, “We thought it would be funny.” 

 

They make their way out the garden, passing neighbours and family friends. Outside, Jake is standing by the barbecue with an apron on, there are more people standing around and talking and Clarke and Lexa’s friends are all squished around a small wooden table, their plates piled with food. 

 

After saying hello to Clarke’s father, they both get some food of their own before heading over to their friends. 

 

Bellamy holds up his beer in greeting, “Took you two long enough.”

 

“Did you get lost or something?” Jasper asks. 

 

“Fuck you guys,” Clarke says.

 

“Why didn’t you tell us you were coming?” Lexa asks. 

 

“Well, originally we thought you knew that Abby invited us,” Octavia begins, “But then we found out you didn’t and we thought it would be funny if we surprised you.” 

 

“You guys know that it’s a terrible joke, right? Like it’s not even funny.” 

 

“Boo you whore,” Lincoln calls. Lexa arches an eyebrow and Lincoln shrugs, “Octavia and I watched Mean Girls last night.” 

 

“Where’s the other member of Bell 2 ?” Bellamy asks. 

 

“Don’t use that name, and she’s inside somewhere with mom,” Clarke explains. 

 

Bellamy jumps up out of his seat, “Well I’m going go find my favourite baby, see you losers later,” he says before disappearing into the house. 

 

Clarke quickly claims the seat, and when Lexa gives her a look as if to say ‘I was going to sit there’ she just pulls the girl down to sit on her lap. 

 

Lexa revels in the feeling of Clarke’s arms around her waist. 

 

The group of friends continues to catch up on the few things that have happened since the last saw each other, like how last night Anya burnt her hand baking cookies that she was supposed to bring today. (Anya states loudly that baking is dumb as fuck and she refuses to ever do it again). Raven recounts she finished fixing the engine of a car the other day and when the owner came to pick it up it was the lead singer of her favourite band. And Monty explained how he put out a fire in his research lab after a new guy knocked over a bunsen burner. 

 

Eventually, they have to stop because Abby comes over to them and says, “Clarke, Bella won’t stop crying.” 

 

“Back to mommy duty,” Anya says. 

 

Lexa gets off Clarke’s lap, so the blonde can go check on her kid. She disappears into the house. Lexa sits back down and watches her go. 

 

“Just go as well,” Anya rolls her eyes, “We know you want to.” 

 

Lexa hops up again and follows where Clarke just went. She finds them easily, by following the sound of Bella’s cries. 

 

They are in the living room which has mostly emptied now that all the food is ready and being served outside. Lexa see’s Clarke taking a crying Bella from Bellamy’s arms. 

 

“What did you do to her, Bell?” Clarke asks as she begins to rock Bella back and forth. Her cries become softer, but they don’t stop completely. 

 

“I don’t know!” He says, “One minute we’re just playing and another second she’s crying.”

 

“She didn’t sleep that well last night, I don’t think. She’s probably just tired,” Clarke says. 

 

“Sorry anyway,” Bellamy says, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’ll get out of your hair,” he says as he heads back outside. “Hi Lexa,” he mutters as he passes. 

 

Clarke turns at the mention of Lexa’s name, and Lexa watches as a soft smile appears on her lips. 

 

Bella seems to realise Lexa is there as well, she turns her head and holds out her arm, her little hands making a grabbing motion in the brunettes direction. 

 

“I think she wants you,” Clarke says. 

 

Lexa immediately steps forwards, happily taking the upset toddler from Clarke’s arms. Clarke stays close though, placing a comforting hand on Bella’s back as Lexa begins to sway from side to side, bouncing her gently in her arms. 

 

Bella’s soft cries gradually turn to whimpers and then to silence as she calms down. Her eyes flutter shut and she rests her head on Lexa’s shoulder. 

 

“I think that did it,” Lexa says quietly. 

 

“You’re so good with her, thank you,” Clarke whispers. 

 

Clarke decides Bella should sleep for a little while, so they place her gently in her carrier. Clarke places a thin blanket over her, making sure it’s tucked under her chin. 

 

“You guys work well together.”

 

Both girls jump at the sound of Jake’s voice, having not realised he was there. Jake stands leaning against the doorframe, his arms crossed over his chest, a soft smile on his lips. 

 

“We are best friends dad,” Clarke reasons, “And we’re basically raising Bella together,” she adds. 

 

The statement sends a nice and warm feeling through Lexa’s stomach.

 

“You’re like a little family,” Jake says next. 

 

And Clarke and Lexa share a smile. 

 

They kind of are. 

 

.

 

Today is an important day, because it’s Bella’s first playdate. On one a trip to the park, Bella befriended a toddler called Thomas, as much as two toddlers can be friends that is. 

 

They played in closes proximity to each other anyway. 

 

After, several times of running into Thomas and his mother Beth, Clarke had began talking to her as their kids played, which had led to todays playdate being set up. 

 

Lexa has met the woman a few times, she can’t always go to the park with Clarke, but when she met her, she seemed nice enough. From what Lexa can remember about her, she’s a single mother like Clarke, who works at a bakery. Lexa thinks she looks slightly older than Clarke and herself and she definitely dresses more like a mom than either of them. 

 

Lexa looks at the time on her phone and sees that Thomas and Beth should be arriving any minute now. 

 

She walks into the living room, where she finds Bella in her soft travel cot, and Clarke cleaning. 

 

Lexa lets out a low whistle. 

 

“I don’t think the place has looked this clean since we moved in,” she announces. 

 

Clarke stands up straight from where she had been fluffing up the sofa cushions. 

 

“Can you believe this is the first time we’ve had someone over that wasn’t one of our friends, or my parents?” 

 

“I can definitely believe that,” Lexa says, “We’re not exactly good at expanding our circle.”

 

Clarke laughs, “Very true,” she says. “Is that what you’re going to wear?” she asks. 

 

Lexa looks down at herself, she’s wearing a pair of black jeans and her old college sweatshirt. “What’s wrong with this?” 

 

“Oh nothing.” 

 

“Why are you trying to hard to impress this woman?” Lexa asks. She pushes down any feelings of jealous that being to sprout up. 

 

“I’m not. Ok well I kind of am,” Clarke says in a rush. Lexa arches an eyebrow in question, “Beth is just the first single mom around our age that I’ve ever hung out with, and this is also our first playdate ever. And Beth is so well put together, I guess I just want to prove to her that I can do this by myself as well.” 

 

Lexa takes Clarke’s hand gently, “Clarke you are doing a wonderful job of raising Bella. And besides, you’ve got me. I’m always here for you.” 

 

Clarke lets out a long sigh. “You’re right, thank you Lex. And I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said I was doing this by myself, you’ve been so amazing helping me with Bella.”

 

“That doesn’t matter,” Lexa assures, because no matter how much Lexa helps, Clarke is still a single parent. 

 

“It does though, I want you to know how much I appreciate you,” Clarke says, gazing straight into Lexa’s eyes. 

 

Lexa’s can’t help but feel warm all over under her stare. “I know and I know you know how much I love both you and Bella. I’d do anything for you guys.” 

 

“Love you too Lex.” 

 

Lexa isn’t sure what’s happening, but the air feels like static around them. Lexa’s breath catches in her throat. 

 

And then,

 

There’s a knock at the door. 

 

Lexa blinks. 

 

Clarke pulls away. 

 

She rushes to the door, and whatever was about to happen, if there was anything about to happen, is forgotten. 

 

And the playdate begins. 

 

.

 

Lexa has decided that there is one word that describes Beth perfectly. And that word is, annoying. 

 

Bella and Thomas are playing together on the floor happily, while Clarke, Lexa and Beth all sit around and talk. 

 

Or while Clarke and Beth talk at least, Lexa is more content to just sit back and observe. 

 

Mostly because she isn’t even sure what to say to Beth, who she is sure she doesn’t have a thing in common with. 

 

Now, Lexa isn’t sure what she finds so annoying about the woman. Maybe it’s the way her laugh just hits Lexa’s ear wrong, or the way she slurps her coffee that Clarke made her slightly too loudly. 

 

It’s definitely not because of the way she clings to Clarke’s arm whenever the blonde says something funny, or how she leans closer to Clarke when she speaks, or how she laughs extra hard when Clarke says a joke, even when it’s not that funny. 

 

It’s definitely none of those things. 

 

Definitely not. 

 

After a while, Lexa excuses herself to the kitchen saying she was going to get herself another drink. 

 

Lexa makes her way into the kitchen, and over to the fridge. The door behind her opens again, and she knows it’s Clarke. 

 

“Lexa, are you feeling ok?” Clarke asks. 

 

“I’m fine,” Lexa assures. She takes a bottle of water from the fridge before closing it again. 

 

“It’s just you’re not talking much, you’re not normally so quiet.”

 

“I just don’t really know what to say,” Lexa shrugs. 

 

“Lexa, please can you try a bit harder? I actually get along with this woman and it’s nice to talk to someone new about mother things to a woman who understands what it’s like.” 

 

_You can talk to me_ , Lexa wants to say. But instead, she sighs, because she understands where Clarke is coming from. 

 

“Sure I guess,” Lexa says. 

 

“Lexa, I tried with Riley,” Clarke tells her. 

 

And that makes Lexa pause.

 

Clarke just compared Beth to Riley. 

 

_Does that mean she is interested her in more than a friendly way?_

 

_Or did she just compare her to Riley, because Riley was new?_

 

_Does Clarke want to sleep with Beth?_

 

_Does she want to date her?_

 

All these questions rush through Lexa’s head in an instant, almost leaving her dizzy. 

 

“Lexa,” Clarke says again. 

 

“I’ll try harder,” she says. To Lexa, her voice sounded forced, but Clarke must not thing so because she smiles gratefully. 

 

“Thank you. Now, let’s get back out there.” 

 

Lexa does try harder to talk and engage with Beth, for Clarke, and for Bella because Lexa really does think that Bella likes spending time with Thomas and she would hate to be the reason that they can’t have anymore playdates. 

 

But for the rest of the playdate, Lexa can’t help but be distracted by her own thoughts. She knows she doesn’t have any right to feel jealous, or even to care if Clarke wants to sleep with anyone else. She’s doing the same with Riley for gods sake, but that doesn’t stop her feeling the way she does. 

 

Head and heart. Two completely opposite things that function completely separately. 

 

By the time the playdate is over, Lexa’s mind has run itself in circles. She does this, she over thinks. She over analyses, and in the end, she almost always makes herself feel worse. 

 

So there is no surprise when Lexa feels worn out by the time Beth and Thomas leave. 

 

Luckily, Lexa manages to hide it from Clarke throughout the afternoon. Because Clarke kisses her cheek and thanks her for engaging more. 

 

Though Lexa is unsure whether she should feel better or worse. 

 

.

 

Lexa’s back hits Riley’s mattress, a second later the red head is straddling her hips and pressing their lips together in a passionate kiss. 

 

Riley’s fingers trace up Lexa’s ribcage, up past her shoulder and cups the back of Lexa’s head so she can deepen the kiss even more. 

 

Lexa came to Riley’s apartment to try and distract herself from Clarke. She came here to forget about the blue eyes and gorgeous smile that she dreams about, just for a second. She came here to forget the possibility of Clarke being interested in Beth.

 

But if anything it’s doing the opposite. 

 

Lexa feels Riley’s hands leave her hair, and reach behind her to try and unhook her bra, but Lexa breaks the kiss. She leans back, her eyes cast downwards. 

 

“Riley, wait,” Lexa says, her breath heavy. 

 

Riley stops immediately, her hands dropping to her lower back, and she looks at Lexa worriedly. 

 

“Are you alright?” Riley asks, concern in her voice. 

 

“Can we stop?” Lexa asks and in a second Riley is off of her lap, settling next to her on the mattress instead. 

 

“Talk to me Lexa,” Riley urges gently. 

 

“I don’t know if I can do this anymore,” Lexa says slowly, “I think…I think I just need the friend part of us, not the benefits,” she cringes at how awkward she sounds. 

 

“Oh,” Riley says, caught of guard. But then she nods and says, “Of course, Lexa, if that’s what you want,” she agrees easily. 

 

“I’m sorry,” Lexa says, looking at Riley for the first time since she spoke. 

 

She expects Riley to look hurt perhaps, but all she sees is a gentle smile and kind eyes. 

 

“Don’t be,” Riley tells her, “We both knew that this was never going to go any further. Is it because of Clarke?” she asks. 

 

Lexa laughs humourlessly, “Isn’t it always?” 

 

“Did something happen?”

 

“Nothing good,” Lexa replies. The two women, make themselves comfortable on Riley’s bed, their backs against the headboard, Lexa holds a pillow against her stomach. “I’m such an idiot. Earlier today Bella had a playdate and Clarke and the kids mom, Beth, get along really well.” 

 

“Clarke is seeing this woman?” 

 

“See, that’s the thing, she’s not even doing that. Clarke hasn’t really shown much interest in her at all, and here I am getting so caught up in my own head. I’ve some how convinced myself that Clarke is interested in her.” 

 

“Well you’re not dumb Lexa, something must have happened to make you think that,” Riley points out. 

 

Lexa sighs, “Ok, yeah. But this is going to sound silly. Especially to you.”

 

“I work with kids Lexa, nothing sounds weird to me at this point.”

 

Lexa chuckles. “Alright, alright. She…she compared Beth to _you_.”

 

“Me?”

 

“Clarke said I needed to try being better at getting along with Beth, and that she tried for you.” 

 

“Oh,” Riley says in understanding, “So now you think Clarke wants to sleep with Beth.” 

 

“Basically,” Lexa nods. “I’m being stupid right?” 

 

“A little bit,” Riley admits. 

 

Lexa smashes the pillow she’s holding over her face, “Ugh! I know! Why am I like this? Why can’t i process feelings and deal with emotions like normal human being?” 

 

“Everyone’s different, Lexa,” Riley says in a soft voice. She pulls the pillow away from Lexa’s face. “I like to think we know each other quite well by this point,” Riley says, and Lexa nods, “And I know how much you love Clarke. I also know that she’s your closest friend. It must be scary knowing there’s a possibility you might lose her.”

 

“Geez, thanks for pointing out the obvious,” Lexa says sarcastically. Riley gives her a look. “Sorry,” she sighs, “Bad at emotions, remember?” 

 

Riley bumps her shoulder against Lexa’s, “Didn’t you tell me once that Clarke kissed you?” 

 

“Yeah,” Lexa nods. 

 

“Well why didn’t you use that to talk about your feelings with her?”

 

“I don’t know?!” Lexa groans, “I put the kiss down to Clarke’s hormones being all crazy from just giving birth.”

 

“Lexa.”

 

“I’m an idiot, I know,” Lexa says, and she knows she is. 

 

She knows she is. 

 

But even so, the thought of losing herbest friend is too great of a fear for her to regret not talking to Clarke about it then. 

 

“You kind of are,” Riley agrees. 

 

A moment of silence passes over them, and the weight of their conversation kind of sinks in. 

 

Lexa turns to look at Riley, “Are we still going to be ok?” she asks. 

 

“Lexa, of course we are,” Riley says sincerely. 

 

“Ok good.” 

 

“Are you staying over?” Riley asks next. 

 

Lexa bites her lip, “Is that ok? I’m kind of exhausted.” 

 

Of course Riley agrees, and so they get ready for bed. They brush their teeth, Lexa using a spare, and slip their shirts back on. Then they climb into Riley’s bed and tuck themselves under the covers. 

 

They don’t cuddle, but there isn’t an awkward distance between them either. 

 

Riley flicks off the lights. 

 

In the darkness, Lexa hears Riley ask, “So what are you going to do?” 

 

Lexa sucks in a deep breath, releases it.

 

And then, “I guess I’m going to have to talk to her.”

 

.

 

So, apparently saying you’re going to talk to someone is a lot easier than actually doing the physical talking.

 

Who knew. 

 

There have been plenty of opportunities for Lexa to talk to Clarke. 

 

During their usual movie nights in the evenings, when they’re at the grocery store, during their trips to the park, even when they were cleaning their bathroom together. 

 

But Lexa chickens out, every single time. Because as stated before, it’s a lot harder than it sounds. 

 

.

 

Lexa is lying in front of the TV with Bella. 

 

They are both spending the afternoon together while Clarke is out completing some chores that she knew she would get done faster if Bella wasn’t with her. And Lexa doesn’t have anything planned for her Saturday, so she easily agreed when Clarke asked if she could look after her. 

 

Dora the Explorer plays on the TV quietly, Lexa is positive that Bella isn’t listening or watching, she is more focused on colouring on the picture of a teddy bear, but whenever Lexa tries to change the channel Bella would start crying, so she just gave up. 

 

Lexa looks down at her own colouring, it’s a picture of a dolphin jumping out of the ocean, then she looks to Bella’s teddy bear, covered in scribbles (dexterity isn’t Bella’s strongest skill yet).

 

She decides that Bella’s is still her favourite. 

 

“No Bella,” Lexa says as the toddler begins to colour on the floor. Thank god they have wood instead of carpet, “Paper’s for colouring, floors are for standing. Or sitting. Or walking… ok they’re just not for colouring. Oh wait, you can colour on them if you have chalk. But that’s only outside. Wait, what was I talking about?” 

 

Even at her young age, Bella looks so much like Clarke, and Lexa can’t help but laugh when the little girl gives her a look, as if to say ‘what the hell are you talking about?’. 

 

Lexa picks Bella up and rolls onto her back, holding Bella above her. 

 

“God you are so much like your mom,” Lexa sighs. Bella squeals happily as Lexa tickles her sides. “Your mom would’ve punched me if I did that to her though. I guess you could punch me as well, but I don’t think it would hurt very much,” Lexa muses. 

 

Bella wiggles in her arms then, and so Lexa puts her back down on the floor. The little girl rolls back onto her stomach and begins to crawl towards the sofas. Lexa watches her, making sure she’s ok, but just let’s her do her own thing. 

 

“Not got a hang of the whole walking thing yet, huh,” Lexa says, just as Bella reaches the sofa. She watches as Bella pulls herself up onto her feet, and to her surprise, pulls herself onto the sofa as well. 

 

It’s adorable and it makes Lexa smile so much it hurts, because she drags herself onto the sofa face first before wiggling the rest of her body onto the sofa. 

 

Lexa steps closer to make sure that she doesn’t fall off, but Bella just adjusts herself until she’s sat facing the TV. 

 

“Oh, cool. We’re watching Dora now,” Lexa says, as she sits down next to her. “You’re the boss.”

 

They watch Dora the Explorer in silence for a few minutes before Bella begins to babble, “Mama, mama mama,” she says in that way that makes Lexa’s heart feel incredibly full in the best way possible. 

 

“Mama’s gonna be back soon,” Lexa assures her. A beat. “Hey Bella,” Lexa says, as she lifts the girl onto her lap. “I’m want to tell you something really important,” she says. Bella grips the ends of her hair in her hands, “I really, really love your mom. I think I’ve been in love with her since the day I met her,” she says in a quiet voice, as if Bella can understand her. “I know, it might be a bit of a shock to you, I’ll let you process that.” Lexa waits a few seconds. “You know your mom pretty well. You were inside of her for 9 months, I think you should, oh yeah, spoiler, that’s where you came from.” Lexa laughs to herself for a second before sighing, “Is it ok though? Is it ok that I feel like this?” 

 

Lexa knows that Bella can’t understand her, she knows that. But when Bella reaches out and taps her chest with her little hand, right above Lexa’s heart, the brunette finds an unexpected sob come from the back of her throat, tears spring to her eyes. 

 

“Oh my god Bella,” Lexa says, a few tears slip down her cheeks. She sucks in a shaky breath. “God, I’m a mess,” she sighs. 

 

Then the front door opens and Clarke steps through, holding grocery bags. 

 

“I’m home!” Clarke calls out. Then she see’s Lexa and Bella on the sofa, she quickly deposits the bags on the ground and rushes over. “Lexa! You’re crying, what’s wrong?” 

 

Lexa sniffs, she hands Clarke Bella and wipes her eyes with the palms of her hands, “What? Nothing. I’m fine. I’m um…I’m going to go have a shower.” 

 

Lexa quickly heads towards her bedroom, leaving a confused Clarke behind. 

 

.

 

Later that night Lexa hears a light knock on her door.

 

She ignores it. 

 

And when Clarke pokes her head through the door a few moments later, Lexa pretends to be asleep. 

 

.

 

“So yeah, that’s basically what happened…” Lexa finishes. 

 

She looks at Raven who sits across from her, the mechanic’s expression doesn’t change one bit. 

 

They are sat in a coffee shop, one of those one’s that’s really hipster, with exposed brick walls, anduses mason jars instead of cups. It’s also the closest place for both Lexa and Raven to get to. 

 

“What. The. Literal. Fuck.” Raven finally says. 

 

Lexa groans, “I know ok.” 

 

“So what you stopped sleeping with Riley over a month ago, thanks for telling me by the way,” Raven says sarcastically. “Then you decide to tell Clarke that you’re in love with her, after the encouragement of the person you were sleeping with, and then you burst out crying because you told Bella that you loved Clarke and then when Clarke saw you crying you ran away?!”

 

“That basically sums it all up, yes.” Lexa nods. 

 

“Oh Lexa, that is the gayest shit I’ve ever heard, and I once went to Polis Pride wearing a rainbow bikini with a bisexual flag wrapped around my shoulders.”

 

“Did you know I hate you?” 

 

“You love me,” Raven says with a wave of her hand, “And also, you are the worlds biggest idiot. You do realise all you problems could be solved if you womaned up and talked to Clarke, right?” 

 

“You do realise I could also lose my best friend if I did that, right?” Lexa counters. 

 

“If you don’t talk to Clarke, I’m going to, because you’re driving yourself crazy, and you're driving me crazy.” 

 

“Raven!” 

 

“Ok, I won’t do that, i’m not that much of a bitch. But seriously. Talk to Clarke. She’s your best friend,” Raven stresses, “You know she won’t abandon you if she doesn’t feel the same.” 

 

Lexa sighs. “Yeah. You’re right.” 

 

“I know I am.”

 

“God, you’re frustrating.” 

 

.

 

When Lexa gets home Clarke and Bella aren’t there and she finds a note pined to the fridge amongst Bella’s drawings that reads ‘Gone to the park, will also pick up lunch’. 

 

Lexa busies herself with work while she waits for the two of them to get back.

 

And half an hour later, the front door opens. 

 

“Lexa! We’re back!” Clarke calls out as soon as the door opens. 

 

Lexa waves at her from where she is sat on the sofa, then Clarke wheels Bella’s stroller over to her. 

 

“What’s for lunch?” Lexa asks. 

 

“Sandwiches from the deli down the road,” Clarke tells her, “I got you your usual,” she says. 

 

Clarke takes out a wrapped sandwich and hands it to the brunette. 

 

“Thanks,” Lexa says. She begins to unwrap it, but then pauses. She figures if she doesn’t talk to Clarke now, she’ll lose the courage that Raven helped instil in her. She places the sandwich on the coffee table. “Actually, Clarke I have to talk to you about something.”

 

“Really? Me too,” Clarke says, a hint of nervousness in her voice. 

 

Lexa’s heart begins to beat faster in her chest. 

 

_Is Clarke going to tell her she likes her?_ Lexa thinks. But she quickly dismisses that thought, it’s too hopeful. 

 

“Oh,” Lexa says, surprised. “Um…you go first,” she says. 

 

_So much for courage._

 

“Are you sure?” 

 

“Yeah, go for it.” 

 

And then, “This is going to sound crazy,” Clarke says, a nervous smile on her lips, “But when Bella and I were at the park we ran into Beth. And…she asked me out, on a date.”

 

Lexa blinks. 

 

And it feels like her world is beginning to fall apart. 

 

“Oh.”

 

 

 


	4. the middle: part 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this chapter took slightly longer to get out, it's a long one though, so I hope that makes up for it. 
> 
> Thank you so much for your comments and thoughts on the last chapter, they were great to read :)

**** _“This is going to sound crazy. But when Bella and I were at the park we ran into Beth. And…she asked me out, on a date.”_

 

_“Oh.”_

 

“Yeah,” Clarke says with a soft laugh, “So… what do you think I should do?” 

 

“Um….”

 

Lexa feels as if everything around her begins to work in slow motion. She hears and sees it all. Every breath, every twitch of Clarke’s expression, the way her heart pounds in her chest. 

 

Lexa swallows thickly. 

 

She rubs her hands against her jean clad thighs. 

 

“I um… excuse me, I need to go to the bathroom.” 

 

“Wait, Lexa-“

 

But the brunette is already up, striding towards the bathroom and away from her best friend, away from Clarke.

 

Lexa doesn’t hear the door as she slams it shut behind her, or the click of the lock as she twists it. She turns on the sink, trying to get the water to drown out her thoughts, but it doesn't work.

 

Because Beth asked Clarke out on a date. 

 

Lexa can’t blame Beth, of course she would ask Clarke out, Clarke is clever, funny, sarcastic, a wonderful mother, beautiful. Lexa just curses herself for not saying anything to Clarke sooner. If she wasn’t so afraid, maybe she would be the one taking Clarke out on a date. 

 

Lexa pauses, because Clarke _hasn’t_ said yes to Beth, she isn’t going on a date with her yet. 

 

Clarke asked her what she should do, and maybe Lexa could change her mind…

 

But that thought makes Lexa feel even worse than before, if that’s possible. Because who is she control Clarke’s happiness? And Lexa is sure more than anything that Clarke deserves to be happy. 

 

Maybe Beth can make Clarke happy. And that’s her least favourite thought of all. 

 

There’s a tap on the door. 

 

Lexa turns off the tap. 

 

“Lexa?” Clarke calls, her voice muffled by the door. 

 

“I’ll be out in a sec,” Lexa replies. 

 

Lexa steels herself. Then she takes a deep breath and opens the door. Clarke stands on the other side, concern on her face. 

 

“Are you alright?” Clarke asks. 

 

“Um yeah… I just really had to…poop?” 

 

Clarke snorts and the tension between them disappears, “Geez, thanks for that detail Lex,” she laughs. Lexa chuckles as well, though it’s not as genuine. 

 

“You asked.” 

 

They head back into the living room, where Bella is laying on her play mat,. 

 

Lexa swallows thickly, “So about Beth… I think you should say yes.”

 

“You do?” Clarke asks. “But what if it’s too soon? Bella is still so young, I don’t know if I should be taking my attention away from her.” 

 

“You wouldn’t be. Besides, Beth is a single mother as well, she would understand. And Bella would want you to be happy.” 

 

_I want you to be happy._

 

“I guess…” Clarke says, though she still sounds unsure. “It is only one date,” Clarke reasons to herself. 

 

“Yeah, just one date,” Lexa says, hiding her disappointment. 

 

“Thanks Lex, you always know what to say to me.”

 

Lexa sends her a smile, that she hopes looks natural, then she says, “Uh, I have to get going though. I’m meeting up with Raven.” 

 

“Ok,” Clarke says with an easy smile, “I’ll see you later.” 

 

Lexa gets up to leave, she grabs her jacket and keys, and kisses Bella on the forehead as a way of a goodbye. 

 

“Oh don’t for get this,” Clarke says, as she hands Lexa her forgotten sandwich, “Can’t have you going hungry.”

 

Lexa takes it, touched by Clarke’s thoughtfulness, “Thanks, I’ll see you in a bit.” 

 

.

 

As Lexa steps out of her apartment building, she lifts her phone to her ear. The phone rings, and Lexa thinks that Raven isn’t going to pick up, but then the call clicks through. 

 

“Raven, I need to talk to you,” Lexa says. 

 

Raven sounds a little breathless when she answers, “Right now’s not a really good time.” 

 

“Clarke was asked out on a date.” 

 

“What?!”

 

“And I told her to say yes.”

 

“Lexa!” 

 

“I know,” Lexa sighs. 

 

“Ok, give me like half an hour and I’ll meet you at that cafe on ninth,” Raven says. “Ah shit,” she gasps. 

 

“Raven?” Lexa asks. She listens carefully, wondering if Raven’s ok, then her eyes widen when she realises what’s happening. “Raven! Are you having sex?” 

 

“Um… maybe?” 

 

“Then why the fuck did you pick up?!” Lexa exclaims. 

 

“You’re the one who called Lexa.” 

 

“It’s like the middle of the day.” Lexa’s nose scrunches up when she hears a moan through the phone.

 

“Your point?” Raven asks. 

 

Lexa shakes her head, and she wonders why she’s still talking to the girl. “Ugh, you’re disgusting.” 

 

Raven ignores her, “So, I’ll see you in half an hour?” 

 

Lexa sighs, “Are you sure? You’re clearly busy.”

 

“I don’t mind Lexa,” Raven says. 

 

“Really, it’s alright,” Lexa tries to protest. 

 

“I’ll see you in half an hour.”

 

She hangs up before Lexa can protest more, and Lexa slips the phone into her jacket pocket, a grimace on her face. She never wants to hear Raven have sex again in her life. 

 

.

 

Lexa goes to the park to pass the time and she doesn’t know why she does because all she can think about when she sits down on a bench is about Clarke and Beth. She figures she just likes to cause herself more pain. 

 

She wonders how Beth asked Clarke out, where they were, what Clarke’s reaction was. 

 

Lexa sits back and unwraps her sandwich. She takes a bite, but her mood makes it practically tasteless. 

 

A couple walk past holding hands. They’re a good looking couple, both attractive in their respective ways. The girl holds a leash to a small dog and laughs at something the guy says to her, a wide smile appearing on her face. 

 

Lexa can’t help but think how ironic it is, and she refrains from rolling her eyes. 

 

Because she never expected herself to be someone who gets annoyed by other peoples love for each other. Well maybe not annoyed, bitter perhaps. 

 

She nibbles on her sandwich, not really hungry anymore. And when twenty minutes pass, she heads out of the park to meet up with Raven. 

 

.

 

Raven is late to the cafe, though Lexa doesn’t care. She is already grateful that the mechanic is there to meet her. 

 

Lexa has found a table at the back of the cafe and bought two coffees and a brownie for Raven. Raven comes striding into the cafe fifteen minutes after Lexa sat down and immediately takes one of the coffees and takes a large gulp. 

 

“The brownies yours as well,” Lexa tells her, “I figured you’d need to sustenance,” she says with a smirk. 

 

“And the girls got jokes,” Raven laughs, before taking a bite of the snack. 

 

“Sorry for interrupting…” Lexa waves her hands in the air, “stuff.” 

 

“Aw can’t little Lexie say sex?”

 

Lexa rolls her eyes good naturedly, “Fuck you.” 

 

“No thanks, already had that taken care of.” 

 

“Oh my god.”

 

“That’s what she said.” 

 

“Raven!” Lexa laughs. 

 

Raven snorts, before sobering slightly and nodding, “Right right, you have stuff to talk about. So this Beth chick asked Clarke out?” 

 

Lexa nods, “Yeah, earlier today.” 

 

“What about telling her about how you feel?” Raven asks exasperatedly. 

 

“I was going to!” Lexa insists, “But then Clarke comes and says that to me and I don’t know I just froze.”

 

“You didn’t have to encourage it.” 

 

“But what if Beth could make her happy?” 

 

“You could make her happy!” Raven exclaims. 

 

Lexa sighs, “I’m an idiot.” 

 

“Yeah kind of.” 

 

“What should I do?” Lexa asks helplessly. 

 

Raven crosses her arms over her chest, “Look Lexa, I’ve told you you need to talk to Clarke about these things. It’s clearly eating you up. And Beth asking Clarke out is barely even a hurdle, she’s been in Clarke’s life, what like a couple months? You’ve been there for years.”

 

“You’re right. I just need to do it.” 

 

Raven’s advice is short and straightforward but it’s enough because Lexa knows that her friend is right, and really Raven has given her a lot of advice already. She just thinks that she needed someone to talk to for a second. 

 

Lexa diverts the conversation then, asking Raven about who she was with. Raven launches into a story about how she met this guy at workwhen he came in because his motorcycle was acting up. Lexa asks if they’re going to be serious and Raven just throws her head back and laughs because apparently that’s a ‘stupid fucking question’. 

 

They stay in the cafe until they finish their coffee’s and Raven finish her brownie. And Lexa just thinks it’s nice to not think about her feelings for Clarke for a short while. 

 

.

 

When Lexa gets home she doesn’t see Clarke and Bella in the living room but hears music coming from Clarke’s bedroom so she heads in there. 

 

She finds Clarke and Bella sitting on Clarke’s bed, Clarke sitting cross legged with Bella in front of her as she sings Disney songs to the little girl. 

 

The sight brings a smile to Lexa’s lips. 

 

Lexa watches as Clarke’s smile widens when she see’s her standing by the door, and it makes her heart flutter wildly in her chest. 

 

“Hey, you’re back,” Clarke says. “How was Raven?” 

 

“She was good, she was late because she was having,” Lexa looks to Bella, “S-E-X with a client.”

 

Clarke just barks out a laugh and shakes her head, “Of course she was.”

 

“So I-“

 

“I spoke-“

 

They both begin to speak at the same time, then stop at the same time before laughing. 

 

“You first,” Lexa says, gesturing to Clarke as she does so. 

 

“I was still a bit unsure about saying yes to Beth when you left,” Lexa feels hope rise in her chest, “so I spoke to Octavia about it as well, and she agreed with you, it’s just one date.”

 

Lexa’s stomach drops, “Oh?” 

 

“Yeah, we’re going out next weekend.”

 

.

 

The next week passes way far too quickly for Lexa’s liking. She is working extra hard because she is trying to be chosen to work on a new high profile project, and it’s incredibly rare that they chose someone so new.

 

In a way, the extra work is a gift, because it means that Lexa is constantly distracted by something, other than the impending weekend. 

 

But it still doesn’t stop the thoughts completely, especially at night just before she falls asleep. Her mind is plagued with the thought of her best friend. Her thoughts are cursed with images of Clarke with someone that isn’t her. 

 

Lexa thinks she should have spoken to Clarke sooner. 

 

She knows she should have. 

 

But now it might be too late. 

 

.

 

It’s Friday evening, and Lexa is in the living room with Bella as Clarke gets ready for her date with Beth. 

 

The toddler has been unusually lethargic all day so she is laying in her travel cot, napping. Lexa had tried to get her stay awake, but she seemed to want to just curl up and sleep. 

 

Lexa gets up from the floor, where she sat in front of the coffee table preoccupying herself with work, to go over to the cot and gently press the back of her fingers to Bella’s cheeks and forehead. 

 

Her eyebrows crease together with worry when she realises she’s unusually warm. 

 

It’s that moment that Clarke walks out, dressed ready for her date. If Lexa wasn’t so distracted with her concern for Bella, her jaw would have dropped at the sight of her best friend dressed in a tight pair of black jeans and a jacket that hugged her body nicely.

 

“Is she still sleeping?” Clarke asks, coming to stand next to Lexa. 

 

“She’s warm,” Lexa tells her with worry in her voice. 

 

Clarke frowns, then touches her hand to Bella’s forehead just as Lexa had a moment before. Her frown deepens when she finds that Lexa is right, Bella is warm. 

 

The toddler has never really been ill before, only having a small cough for one day when she was still a baby. 

 

“I think she’ll be ok though,” Lexa says, though her voice still sounds unsure. 

 

Neither of them have had experience with a feverish child before, and it was daunting to say the least. 

 

“Well I’m definitely not going out now.” 

 

“I can take care of her,” Lexa assures. 

 

But Clarke just glares at her, “She’s my daughter Lexa, you really think I’m going to go out when she’s sick?” 

 

That shuts Lexa up, because of course Clarke is going to stay. Hell, Lexa knows she wouldn’t step a foot away from Bella even if she had a date with Kristen Stewart if she was even remotely sick, and Bella isn’t even her daughter. 

 

“I’ll get the thermometer.” 

 

Clarke nods, “I’ll message Beth.”

 

Lexa quickly heads into the bathroom, where she fishes through the drawers in search of the thermometer that they’ve only used once before. After she finds it she heads back into the living room where Clarke is on the phone. 

 

“Are you sure?” Clarke asks. There’s a pause before Clarke continues, “Ok, thanks mom.” She hangs up and Clarke looks to Lexa, “My mom said there’s nothing to worry about really unless her temperature continues to rise. Babies and toddlers get fevers all the time.” 

 

There is a hint of relief in Clarke’s voice, though Lexa can sense that Clarke is still really worried and rightly so. 

 

They take Bella’s temperature and discover that they were right, it reads 101.6°, Bella has a fever. 

 

Lexa remembers from the countless baby books she read that they need to keep Bella hydrated so they wake her up long enough to give her something to drink. She cries through the ordeal, but they get her drink before they bring her to bed. 

 

Clarke makes sure she’s not too bundled up, but also warm enough, then places her into her cot. 

 

Lexa can tell that Clarke doesn’t want to leave her side, but Lexa persuades her to with the assurance that they’ll check on her frequently and that the baby monitor is right next to her. 

 

“You should get in more comfortable clothes,” Lexa tells her. 

 

When Clarke still seems hesitant to leave, Lexa takes Clarke’s hand gently and pulls her out the room and into Clarke’s. Lexa takes out sweatpants and a old sweatshirt for Clarke to wear. 

 

“Change into these. Take off your make up and I’ll go make us some hot chocolate, ok?” 

 

Lexa leaves Clarke to change as she makes her way down the hallway and into the kitchen, but not before poking her head back into Bella’s room to see the toddler still sleeping. 

 

Once in the kitchen she whips up some hot chocolate for the two of them and as she is waiting for the milk to heat up she quickly goes on her phone onto the baby website they always use if they have questions about baby care, just to double check on what they should be doing to look after Bella. 

 

After the milk is done, Lexa mixes in the hot chocolate powder before bringing the two mugs to the kitchen table. She just places them down when Clarke walks in, fresh faced and in the clothes Lexa picked out for her. 

 

The pair sit down at the table, the baby monitor next to Clarke’s hands. 

 

“Thanks for this Lex,” Clarke says gratefully. 

 

“We’ll keep an eye on her,” Lexa assures, “And I googled it, and it says that we’ve done everything right so far, we just need to check on her every once and a while and make sure her temperature isn’t rising.” 

 

“Ok, good. We can do that,” Clarke says, though seemingly mostly to herself. 

 

“So…What did Beth say when you told her you couldn’t make it tonight?” Lexa can’t help but ask. 

 

“She was really understanding,” Clarke says, relief in her voice. 

 

“That’s good of her.”

 

“Yeah,” Clarke agrees, “I also can’t help but think this is some sort of sign.” Lexa gives her a questioning look, so Clarke continues, “Bella getting sick on the same night I was supposed to go out on a date? It’s gotta be some cosmic sign that maybe it’s not the right time.”

 

“Cosmic sign? You don’t believe in that stuff.”

 

“Yeah, well maybe I should.”

 

.

 

The next day, Bella is back to her normal self, and so Lexa and Clarke think that it must have just been a twenty four hour bug. 

 

They had both checked on Bella throughout the night, and thankfully her temperature never rose more than half a degree. 

 

Lexa goes over to Bella’s chest of drawers while Clarke picks up the toddler from her cot, holding her on her hip as she makes her way over to the changing table. Lexa rifles through the many clothes that they had accumulated over a short period of time. But with two grandparents, and seven aunts and uncles, not including Lexa, it was bound to happen. 

 

After a second of searching, Lexa pulls out a green dress. She spins around, Clarke looks over to her as Lexa holds the dress up.

 

“What about this?” Lexa asks. 

 

“Maybe something with a bit more cover? She was sick yesterday,” Clarke says. 

 

Lexa nods in agreement then turns back to the drawer. Lexa’s eyes light up when she see’s a frilly tutu that Raven got Bella as a gift a few months ago. She holds it up to Clarke, who just rolls her eyes. 

 

“Come on Lex,” she laughs, “We don’t want a naked toddler running around.” 

 

“Fine, fine,” Lexa says, tossing it back in the drawer. 

 

She keeps looking until she spots a cute pair of overalls and a little pink t-shirt that she thinks will go well together, then brings them over to Clarke who nods thankfully when she sees it. 

 

Bella lays on her back on the changing table, freshly changed. She kicks her legs up in the air, a happy smile on her face. 

 

Lexa tickles her tummy, making the little girl laugh. 

 

“You caused a lot of worry last night,” Lexa says and Bella replies with bubbled laughter, “You did,” Lexa replies. She looks to Clarke, “She doesn’t even care,” she says with faux annoyance, “Causes all that fuss and not even a single apology.” 

 

Clarke laughs, “Well I’m just glad she’s feeling all better.” 

 

It doesn’t take Clarke long to dress Bella, and soon she’s ready for the day in her t-shirt and overalls. Lexa grabs a pink pair of socks to match her shirt, and brings them over. 

 

“I’m doing the socks,” Lexa announces. 

 

“What’s with you and the socks,” Clarke grins. Almost everyday, Lexa insists she’s the one to put them on. 

 

Lexa just unbundles the socks and shows them to Clarke, “They’re tiny Clarke, it’s freaking adorable.” 

 

.

 

Breakfast starts off like any other. Bella is sat in her highchair, rolling a toy car over the table top. She was making what is supposed to be a car sound with her lips that Lincoln taught her a few days ago after presenting the toy to her. It’s adorable, and Lexa makes sure to video it and send it on their friend group chat. 

 

After that, Clarke, like the mother she is, tells Lexa to help her make breakfast, which is pancakes today. 

 

There is _Get Back Up Again_ from Trollz blasting from speakers on repeat, and they have fun trying to flip the pancakes in the air. It makes Bella laugh and clap her hands together when Lexa misses. 

 

Clarke is cutting up a pancake into small pieces for Bella, and Lexa is sitting down at the table when her phone begins to ring. 

 

Lexa pulls her phone out of her pocket and she waves her hand at Clarke when she sees that it’s her boss calling, “Clarke turn off the music,” she says, not wanting a song from an excellent kids movie playing in the background when she answers. 

 

The music cuts off a second later and Lexa presses answer. 

 

“Hello Mr Campbell.”

 

“ _Good morning Lexa_ ,” Josh Campbell says on the other end of the line. He is a stern and professional man, but he is a fair boss and while he often asks a lot of employees, he is also incredibly respected. “ _I assume you know the reason for this call_.” 

 

Lexa nods even though she knows he can’t see her, “Yes sir.” 

 

She’s going to find out whether she gets to work on the new major project or not. A mix of hope and anxiety swirls around in her stomach. She looks over to Clarke who is looking at her with an encouraging smile. Clarke mimes taking a deep breath and so Lexa copies her. It soothes her somewhat, and Lexa mouths ‘thank you’ to her best friend. 

 

“ _Your hard work and dedication to this firm hasn’t gone unnoticed. It’s clear that you have a talent for this line of work, even though we haven’t seen much of you yet. Which is why,_ ” Lexa holds her breath, “ _we would love to have you on board for the Wallace House.”_

 

Lexa refrains from jumping up and down in excitement, a huge smile spreads across her lips. 

 

“Thank you so much sir, I promise that you won’t regret it.” 

 

“ _I better not_ ,” Mr Campbell says, though Lexa can hear slight teasing in his voice. “ _We will talk about the other details on Monday, I’ll expect you in my office first thing.”_

 

“Of course. Thank you again.” 

 

“ _You’re good, we need good.”_

 

With that Mr Campbell hangs up and Lexa stares at Clarke wide eyed for a second, before letting out a loud, “Oh my god! I got it!” 

 

Clarke pulls Lexa into a tight hug, “Of course you did, you’re amazing.” 

 

Lexa beams, “I can’t believe it.” 

 

“I can,” Clarke says. She looks down at their breakfast, “Pancakes doesn’t seem like a very good celebratory breakfast, does it.” 

 

“I love pancakes.”

 

“We have them every weekend,” Clarke says. She purses her lips as she thinks, “How about we go out for dinner? We can invite the whole gang and go to that sushi place we’ve been dying to try, my treat.”

 

Lexa grins at Clarke’s thoughtfulness, “Ok, that sounds great.”

 

“And you,” Clarke points at Lexa, “Have to tell me all about this major project, Miss ‘It’s bad luck to talk about it’.” 

 

Lexa sticks her tongue out before exclaiming, “It worked didn’t it!” 

.

 

Of course, they are late to dinner, because as usual whenever they need to be on time to somewhere, Bella manages to need a diaper change, or throws a tantrum, or decides that shoesor some other article of clothing is the devil and refuses to put it on. 

 

This time it was her top. Clarke had Bella all nicely dressed for the dinner, and then she put Bella on the floor with colouring supplies to keep her distracted while Clarke got ready. The blonde had turned her back for a second and when she turned around Bella had some how found of Lexa’s markers she uses for designs, and managed to get it all over her face and shirt. So not only did Clarke have to get ready herself but also fix up Bella again. 

 

When they get to the restaurant, they receive sarcastic applause from their friends. 

 

“Only you guys could be late to your own dinner,” Jasper says. 

 

“It’s Lexa’s dinner actually,” Clarke corrects, “And blame the tiny terror,” she adds, gesturing to Bella who sits in her stroller. 

 

Clarke takes a seat near the end of the long table that their friends are sat at so she can sit next to Bella in the high chair that is provided for them. She takes a seat next to Bellamy, while Lexa sits down in between Anya and Lincoln. 

 

“Bella is an angel who can do no wrong,” Bellamy states. 

 

“Don’t you mean Raven?” Raven jokes. 

 

“Don’t try and compete with a baby,” Anya chuckles and Raven glares at her. 

 

“It’s no competition, Bella wins by a landslide,” Lexa says, smirking at Raven who just laughs. 

 

“I’d be mad if it wasn’t true.” 

 

They order wine to feel fancy, all of them getting white or rose because none of them liked red just yet. Once the waiter is finished pouring wine for everyone, Clarke stands up. She holds up her glass. 

 

“As you all know, Lexa is officially working on her firms new major project, which I now know after a lengthy discussion, is building Dante Wallace’s new house-“

 

“Dante Wallace? The Mayor?” Monty asks. 

 

“The one and only.”

 

“I hate that guy,” Bellamy says. 

 

Clarke glares down at him, “Unnecessary Bellamy. Anyway, it doesn’t matter who the house is for, what matters is that Lexa is moving up in the world. And soon that may be literal if she builds a skyscraper.” Their friends boo at Clarke’s poor attempt at a joke and the blonde just waves them off, a smile on her face. “To Lexa!” she finishes. 

 

There’s a chorus of “To Lexa!'s” and “Cheers!” and other similar exclamations and Lexa takes a moment to look around at all her friends. 

 

“Thanks everyone,” she says, “I love you guys so much, and I'm just really happy you all came tonight on such short notice.” 

 

“Anything for our favourite gay,” Raven says. 

 

“Fuck off Raven,” Lexa says.

 

“Lexa!” Clarke exclaims, looking from Lexa to Bella and back again. 

 

“Oops.” 

 

.

 

The dinner is delicious, the sushi is so fresh and it all looks amazing. Everyone has a great time, though they always do when they’re together. Wine flows freely and after Lexa’s initial hesitation to drink because of Bella, Clarke assures her that it’s fine and that she should enjoy herself.

 

And so Lexa does. 

 

About a third of the way through the meal Bella begins to get sleepy and so Clarke puts her in her stroller to sleep. 

 

Eventually the night comes to and end when they realise they should probably have put Bella to bed twenty minutes ago. 

 

No one lets Lexa pay for her meal and so Lexa hugs each one of them, making sure that they know how much she loves each and every one of them. 

 

Finally, Lexa and Clarke say their last goodbye, and then they hail a taxi. The taxi driver helps Clarke put the stroller in the trunk, while Lexa stumbles into the back seat. A minute later, Clarke slides in too, Bella huddled against her chest. 

 

Then they head home. 

 

“You alright, drunky?” Clarke asks Lexa, who is gazing out the window. 

 

“Pfft, I’m only like tipsy or whatever,” Lexa insists.

 

Clarke reaches out and brushes her fingertips against Lexa’s flushed cheeks, “Your blush says something else.”

 

The touch makes Lexa’s heart flutter and her cheeks heat up for an entirely different reason. 

 

“Ok, it’s Jasper’s fault. I swear he kept refilling my glass when I wasn’t looking.” 

 

“Oh he definitely did.” 

 

Lexa gasps and Clarke chuckles at the seriousness of it, “I knew it.” 

 

.

 

As they reach their front door, Lexa insists that she is the one to unlock the door. Clarke just hands over her keys with an amused expression on her face, but eventually she has to take them back because Lexa misses the key hole three times. 

 

“I can do it,” Lexa practically whines as Clarke pries the key from her hand. 

 

“God, drunk Lexa is like having a second child,” Clarke jokes. 

 

Lexa pouts, “Claaarke.”

 

“I’m sure you can open the door. Eventually,” she adds, “Unfortunately, we have to get a little girl to bed.” 

 

That shuts Lexa up and she steps away from the door to let Clarke get to it. A second later the door is being swung open and Clarke announces that she’s going to put Bella to bed. 

 

“And you,” Clarke stands with Bella in one arm and points at Lexa with the other, “Go to the kitchen and drink a glass of water. Then change into your pjs.” 

 

“Ay ay Capt’n,” Lexa salutes. 

 

Lexa does as she’s told, mostly anyway. She drinks a glass of water, and then refills it, but instead of going to her bedroom, she ducks into Bella’s where Clarke is just laying the toddler down . 

 

“I brought you this,” Lexa states, she knows it was a bit too loud by the way Clarke shush’s her so she repeats herself, this time more quietly. 

 

“Thanks,” Clarke whispers, taking the glass from her. “I thought you were changing.” 

 

“I still have to say goodnight to my favourite baby, duh.” 

 

Clarke chuckles, “Right my bad.”

 

Lexa leans over the cot, holding herself up on the railing as she ducks over to peck Bella’s forehead. She can faintly hear Clarke laughing behind her and she knows she must look slightly ridiculous. 

 

“Don’t you dare fall on her,” Clarke warns. 

 

“I won’t,” Lexa assures in a quiet voice, “Good night my love,” she whispers to Bella. 

 

Then she pushes herself up and out of the cot, with a proud look on her face. 

 

Lexa crosses her arms over her chest as she says, “And you thought I’d fall.” 

 

Clarke rolls her eyes, “Come on, let’s let her sleep.”

 

.

 

Lexa’s eyes can barely stay open as she pushes open the bedroom door. Light filters into the bedroom, landing on the bed. She was just brushing her teeth and somehow during that she hit a wall of tiredness. 

She climbs into bed, pulling the covers around her. She shuffles to get comfortable only to jump in fright when she touches something. 

 

“Ahh!” Lexa exclaims. 

 

“Lexa?” Clarke asks sleepily, “What are you doing in my bed?” 

 

“This isn’t my bed?” she asks, confused. 

 

Clarke begins to laugh quietly, “No, you goof.” 

 

“Oh well, your bed is more comfy than mine,” she says, without any sign of moving.

 

“Come here.” 

 

Lexa wriggles over until Clarke’s arms wrap around her. She can’t help but relax into the embrace

 

Then they fall asleep, with Lexa as the little spoon. Her last thought before she drifts off to sleep, is how she wishes it was like this every night.

 

.

 

They are at Polis Public Swimming Pool. It’s a decent pool, always clean, with a high ceiling and lots of floats for the kids to play with. Lexa hasn’t been to this pool in over a year, and doesn’t recognise any of the life guards but that’s not much of a surprise. 

 

It’s not very busy, there are only a few kids in the water, their parents sat around the edge of the pool. 

 

Lexa is dressed in a plain black bikini that she thinks she's had for about five years, she’s doesn’t swim often and so never really bothers getting a new one. Of course Bella looks adorable, dressed in a light green one piece, that has built in floats around her torso.

 

Lexa sits Bella on her lap, they are waiting by the side of the pool for Clarke who is still in the changing room getting dressed. She pulls out a pair of goggles and places them around Bella’s head. 

 

“That’s not too tight, is it?” Lexa asks her. 

 

“Nah, nah,” Bella says with a smile. 

 

“Good,” she says before pecking the toddlers forehead. 

 

Clarke chooses that moment to step out of the changing room, and Lexa tries to stop her cheeks from flushing, because Clarke really is beautiful. Well, Clarke’s beautiful all the time, but a bikini doesn’t really leave much to the imagination. 

 

“Do we have to do this?” is the firs thing that Clarke says. 

 

Lexa rolls her eyes, “Yes, it’s better for Bella to learn early. Just because you hate swimming doesn’t mean she has to as well.” 

 

“Ugh fine,” Clarke says, though Lexa is sure that Clarke knows that this is really for the best. 

 

Clarke sets Bella down on the ground, and the three of them head to the showers, which they have to do before they can get in the water. 

 

“I hope you’re better at swimming than your mommy,” Clarke says to Bella. 

 

.

 

It turns out that Bella is somewhat of a natural, as much as a year and eight month old baby can be anyway. 

 

She learns to blow bubbles quickly and soon enjoys putting her face in the water. When Lexa splashes her, Bella immediately catches on and spends a good ten minutes slapping her tiny hands against the surface of the water. Lexa doesn’t think she’s seen anything more adorable. 

 

They don’t actually let Bella swim by herself, because that would be dumb, duh. But Bella does half float by herself with the support of either Lexa or Clarke’s hands, so they take that as a win. 

 

Clarke mostly just stays in the shallow end, because swimming has never really been her thing. She hated it when they were forced to do it at school, and that hatred just continued on into adulthood. Lexa on the other hand actually really enjoys swimming, and so she swims a couple lengths to exercise, which she has really be slacking on recently. 

 

After an hour, they decide it’s time to go, so they don’t wear Bella out too much and make her sleepy. 

 

“Thank god,” Clarke says as they climb out the water. 

 

“You had fun,” Lexa says, having seen Clarke smiling basically the whole time. 

 

“I had fun watching Bella have fun,” she corrects. 

 

“Same difference,” Lexa shrugs. 

 

“Whatever jerk,” Clarke says, bumping her shoulder against Lexa’s. “Let’s go home.” 

 

Home. 

 

For some reason, Lexa always loves hearing Clarke say that. 

 

.

 

It’s a Wednesday, and Lexa is in the kitchen. Clarke had a long day at work, because they’re re-arranging a section of the museum and they’re behind schedule, so Clarke had to go in earlier than normal and stay later. So, it’s only Lexa cooking dinner tonight. 

 

Recently, she has been watching a lot of British cooking shows for some reason and so she has decided to make a Spanish tortilla that she saw Jamie Oliver make the other night. 

 

Bella, who has been walking a lot more confidently in the past month, is wandering around the kitchen with her toy otter, Percy is his name, in one hand and a soppy cup in the other. Originally Clarke had made Bella to stay out of the kitchen while Lexa cooked, but she had wandered in anyway, and Lexa didn’t mind at all. 

 

Lexa scrolls through the recipe on her laptop, “Ok…thinly slice onion, easy enough.” 

 

She manages to get through half of the onion before her eyes start to water, and all of a sudden tears begin to stream uncontrollably down her face. 

 

“Damn you onion,” Lexa curses. “Bella let me tell you now that onions are the devil.”

 

Lexa dampens some paper towel and presses it to her eyes before finishing up with the onion, then she moves onto the next step of the recipe, peeling potatoes. 

 

“Ok Bella, do you remember how Jamie Oliver peeled it all in one, I’m sure I can do that, right?”

 

Of course she can’t, because she is in fact not Jamie Oliver. It turns out that they don’t actually have a peeler in the apartment, so Lexa makes due with a knife. 

 

Unfortunately, that knife also makes due with Lexa’s hand, and soon the knife is clattering on the counter as Lexa curses, “Shit. Damn you slippery potato!” Lexa exclaims. 

 

Clarke comes into the kitchen a second later, “Is everything alright- Lexa!” she says when she sees the cut on Lexa’s palm. “What did you do?” she asks.

 

Lexa gives a sheepish look, “So it turns out I’m not a professional chef, and I cannot peel a potato in one go.” 

 

Clarke gives a dry laugh, rolling her eyes. “Of course you can be sarcastic when you’re bleeding. I’ll go get the first aid kit,” she says, before disappearing out the door to the bathroom where it’s kept. 

 

Lexa looks down at Bella, who can clearly tell there’s something wrong, though still can’t quite understand. 

 

“Don’t worry Bels, I’m gonna be fine.”

 

Clarke comes back a second later with the first aid kit. After Bella was born they realised they should probably have a good one in the apartment. Though so far, Bella hasn’t had to use it at all yet, other than for a few cuts on her knees when she falls over. 

 

Clarke makes Lexa sit down at the table as she takes out antibacterial wipes, antiseptic cream and gauze, then she grabs another chair and pulls it around so she can sit right in front of her. 

 

“Give me your hand.”

 

Clarke’s hands are soft as Lexa rests hers in them, her touches light so as to not hurt her any more than she already is. 

 

“I thought you said the recipe was going to be easy,” the blonde teases. 

 

Lexa pouts, “It was supposed to be. I blame the potato, and the onion. It made me cry.” 

 

Clarke gasps in mock shock, “How dare it?!”

 

“I know!” 

 

“It doesn’t look like it needs stitches,” Clarke announces, “It’s not very deep.”

 

“Us Woods have thick skin.”

 

“You literally have a cut on your hand, like right this second”

 

“…Touche,” Lexa grins. 

 

Clarke busies herself with first wiping the cut with the antibacterial wipes (Lexa stops herself from gasping at the sting), and then gently applying the antiseptic cream. Finally, she wraps Lexa’s hand in some gauze, telling her that it would protect it, but wouldn’t come off as easily, when Lexa complains that it looks too dramatic. 

 

“And done,” Clarke announces. 

 

“You’re a life saver. A hand saver,” Lexa says. 

 

“God, you’re a nerd,” Clarke states, there’s a sparkle of amusement in her eye that just makes Lexa smile. 

 

And Lexa didn’t really realise how close they were sitting before. She might have been joking around, but the cut still hurt like a bitch, and so she had been distracted, but now she realises that their knees in between each other’s, her hand still in Clarke’s. 

 

Neither make a move to get up. 

 

Lexa looks from her hand to Clarke’s eyes and finds Clarke already gazing at her. 

 

The mood seems to shift slightly, and Lexa suddenly doesn’t know what to say. 

 

“I should probably get back to cooking,” Lexa says. 

 

“Yeah,” Clarke agrees. 

 

Still neither move. 

 

“Actually, Clarke I wanted to talk to you about something-“ Lexa begins, but then she is being cut off by Bella who walks up to them, and places her arms on both of their legs. 

 

“Mama. ’ink,” Bella says, meaning drink. She holds up her now empty sips cup.

 

Clarke extracts herself from Lexa, who immediately misses the contact between them. The blonde takes the cup from her daughter. 

 

“Of course baby,” Clarke says, she stands up and goes to the fridge and refills it with water. “What did you want to talk to me about?” Clarke asks as she hands the cup back to Bella. 

 

Lexa stands suddenly, she runs her uninjured hand against her sweatpants, “Oh um, I forgot,” she lies. “I’ll get back to cooking."

 

“Oh ok,” Clarke replies. 

 

Lexa turns back to the chopping board, and she misses the hopeful look drop from Clarke’s face. 

 

.

 

Lexa is having a great day. She pitched an idea for the layout of Dante Wallace’s kitchen and the other project members really liked it, so they were going ahead and using it as a base. Her good mood comes crashing down though when she arrives home later that day to find Clarke finishing up a phone call. 

 

“-Ok, great I’ll see you tomorrow night,” Clarke says, before hanging up. 

 

“Your parents?” Lexa asks, as she kicks off her shoes. 

 

“Beth,” Clarke corrects, “We’re going out tomorrow.” 

 

If it’s possible, that feels like more of a punch to the gut than the first time, because one second Lexa is on cloud nine and the next she’s crashing back to earth. 

 

“You are?” Lexa asks. 

 

“Yeah,” Clarke nods, “It’s not a date though,” she says and that elevates some of the stress on Lexa’s chest. “Last time made me realise that maybe I’m not ready to date again just yet.” 

 

Lexa just nods at that, “So, what are you guys doing?” 

 

“Just going for some drinks at Turtle Reef,” Clarke says, and that makes Lexa’s eyebrows furrow together, because it’s known to be a perfect date location. She wonders if Clarke knows that. Clarke seems to misread her expression though, because she says, “Don’t worry, Bella is staying with my parents. My mom practically begged me to let her have her,” Clarke laughs. 

 

“I wouldn’t have minded watching her,” Lexa says, and it’s true. In fact, it would have been a blessing, because then at least Lexa would have something to distract herself with. 

 

“I know, but you always do and I was starting to feel bad.” 

 

Lexa rolls her eyes at that, “You know looking after Bella isn’t a chore for me.” 

 

“Still, I thought you might enjoy a babysitting break.” 

 

After that, Clarke asks Lexa about her day and Lexa tries to be as enthusiastic as she was feeling only fifteen minutes before, but it’s hard. 

 

Especially when all her mind is preoccupied with is the thought of Clarke out on a date with someone that isn’t her. 

 

.

 

The next night, Lexa finds herself outside of Octavia and Lincolns apartment. She hadn’t really planned on stopping by but she decided to take a walk after Clarke left, the apartment felt too empty with both her and Bella gone. 

 

Lincoln answers the door, holding a beer in his hand. He looks surprised to see her, but a second later a warm smile appears on his lips, and not a moment after that she’s being ushered inside and into the kitchen where Octavia is.

 

“So what brings you to our humble abode?” Octavia asks as Lexa takes a seat on one of the kitchen stools. 

 

“Beer?” Lincoln asks from his place by the fridge. 

 

“Yes please,” Lexa answers, “And can’t I just want to visit my friends?” 

 

“You can,” Octavia says, “But I’ll have you know, Lincoln and I made the very classy plans of getting super drunk and watching The Bachelor.” 

 

Lexa snorts with laughter, but really the idea doesn’t sound that bad. “Sounds like a good time.” 

 

Octavia swats Lincoln away as he tries to hand Lexa a beer. “Nuhuh babe, we’re cracking out the tequila.” 

 

.

 

An hour later Lexa, Octavia and Lincoln are all drunk and yelling at the television. It’s fun, and it reminds Lexa of when they would have similar nights when they were all still in college. Though they were a lot more of a frequent occurrence then. 

 

All of a sudden the front door bursts open and bangs loudly against the wall. Raven strides in, kicking the door shut behind her. 

 

“Dude, you’re going to dent the wall,” Octavia complains, her speech already slightly slurred. 

 

Raven ignores her. “Sorry I’m late,” she announces, “But I bring pizza and donuts. Oh hey Lexa, what are you doing here?” 

 

“Just chilling and all that,” Lexa replies vaguely with a wave of her hand. 

 

Raven laughs as she deposits the pizza boxes and bags of donuts on the coffee table. “Guys you’re all drunk.” 

 

“Catch up loser,” Octavia says, sliding a tequila shot towards her. Raven downs it in a second, barely flinching. 

 

Soon they are all digging into the pizza, Lexa grabs a slice of pepperoni and mushroom and takes a too big of a bite. 

 

“Where’s blondie and baby blonde?” Raven asks with a mouthful of pizza. 

 

That sobers Lexa somewhat, she hadn’t thought about Clarke since she got to Octavia and Lincoln’s apartment, and it was a cruel reminder of where Clarke was.

 

Ok, that’s a lie, she’s thought about her at least four times, but that’s more than she would have if she was at home by herself. 

 

“Bella’s with Abby and Jake,” Lexa says, “And Clarke’s with Beth,” she adds, and she can’t hide the grimace on her face.

 

“What?” Raven asks surprised. “Didn’t she say that she wasn’t going to date?” 

 

“Apparently it’s not,” Lexa shrugs, she takes another bite of pizza. 

 

“Wait one second, who’s Beth?” Lincoln asks. 

 

“I told you about her like two weeks ago,” Octavia says. 

 

“Sometimes I forget things Octavia.” 

 

“She’s Clarke’s mom friend, Beth’s kid and Bella get along,” Raven answers for him. 

 

“Thank you, all I needed was a reminder,” Lincoln says sticking his tongue out at Octavia. 

 

“I’m sorry Lex,” Raven says, her voice filled with empathy, Lexa can only sigh.

 

There’s a long pause where they are all caught up in their thoughts and chewing on pizza. But then Octavia sits up straighter and looks to Lexa, her expression suddenly very focused for someone at her level of drunk.

 

“Why is Raven sorry?” 

 

Lexa stares back at her blankly, unsure what to say. 

 

“Umm… what?” Raven says, instead. 

 

“You just said that you’re sorry about Clarke going on a date, why would you say that to Lexa?” she asks. 

 

“Raven!” Lexa hisses. 

 

“I’m drunk!” Raven exclaims. 

 

“You just got here!” 

 

“it slipped out, ok? I’m sorry,” she apologises. 

 

“What’s happening right now?” Lincoln asks, confused. 

 

Octavia slams a hand down on the coffee table, with so much enthusiasm it makes all the glasses rattle.

 

“Oh my god! Do you have feelings for Clarke?” 

 

“Uhh…” Lexa stumbles. 

 

“Holy shit, you do. And you knew?” Octavia turns to Raven, pointing an accusing finger at her. 

 

“Lexa told me in confidence,” Raven blurts. 

 

“I knew it!” 

 

“Raven,” Lexa groans, she buries her face in her hands.

 

“She basically already knew,” Raven defends. 

 

“What is happening?” Lincoln asks again. 

 

“Lexa has feelings for Clarke,” Octavia says, slapping Lincoln in the shoulder. “Why haven’t you ever said anything about it to us? Does Clarke know?” 

 

“Of course Clarke doesn’t know,” Raven laughs, “Lexa is too much of a wuss to say anything to her.” 

 

“You guys would actually be a really cute couple,” Lincoln muses. 

 

“They totally would, right,” Octavia agrees. 

 

“Don’t get your hopes up,” Lexa sighs, “Clarke is with Beth at Turtle Reef.” 

 

“The date place?” Octavia asks. 

 

Lexa nods. “The one and only.”

 

“I thought you said it wasn’t a date.” 

 

“That’s what Clarke said,” Lexa says, shrugging one shoulder. 

 

“Lexa you have to tell Clarke how you feel,” Octavia insists. 

 

“I know,” Lexa agrees solemnly, “It’s just terrifying to think about what could happen, it would put so much tension between us if she doesn’t feel the same.”

 

“She might,” Lincoln adds, wishfully. 

 

“You don’t know that.”

 

“Well…” Octavia begins. 

 

Lexa sits up at the tone of Octavia’s voice, “Well what?” 

 

“Well you know how you and Clarke met at the beginning of college at that party?” Octavia says. Lexa nods. “Well, the reason she went up and spoke to you in the first place was because she thought you were really hot.”

 

Lexa’s jaw drops, her eyebrows shoot up her forehead. 

 

“And you never told me this?!” 

 

“I only just found out that you liked her!” Octavia exclaims. 

 

“I don’t just like her Octavia, I’m in love with her.”

 

Then Octavia is jumping to her feet, dropping her unfinished slice of pizza on the box. She hooks her hands underneath Lexa’s arm and tugs her to her feet with surprising strength. Lexa stumbles into a standing position, completely confused as to what is happening. 

 

“What are you doing?” she asks. 

 

Octavia begins to drag Lexa towards the front door. 

 

“We are going to Turtle Reef.” 

 

.

 

This is a bad idea. This is a terrible, terrible idea. This is probably a worse idea than that time Lexa broke her arm in three places because she thought she could slide down the stairs on a mattress like Queen Clarisse in Princess Diaries 2. 

 

But also like that night, even though Lexa knows it’s stupid, she knows it’s dumb, she is still doing it. Because maybe it’s time she tells Clarke. 

 

Her friends are right, Raven has been right since Lexa told her of her feelings for Clarke; she needs to talk to her best friend about this. 

 

And deep down, Lexa knows that even something like this can’t tear their friendship apart forever. 

 

They are all sat in an Uber, everyone is buzzing, but all Lexa feels is the pounding in her chest and the clamminess of her hands. 

 

All too soon they are pulling up outside of Turtle Reef. When Lexa doesn’t open the door, Raven leans across and does it for her, before practically pushing her out the vehicle. 

 

Lexa just manages to stand up, when she sees the door of Turtle Reef open, and none other than Clarke Griffin steps out. 

 

Lexa expects Beth to follow, but no, Clarke is by herself. 

 

The blonde immediately notices her friends, who in their drunken state aren’t being very quiet. 

 

Lexa however is the opposite, all of a sudden she is very very sober, as she stares at the love of her life.

 

“Guys? What are you doing here?” 

 

Raven pushes Lexa forward, she makes a not so subtle gesture for Lexa to go talk to Clarke, while the rest of them stay back.

 

Lexa goes up to Clarke, until she is stood right in front of her. Instead of answering Clarke’s question though, she asks, “Where’s Beth?” 

 

“Gone home I think,” Clarke says, “I ended tonight early. I guess there was a miscommunication because she thought this was still a date,” she shrugs. 

 

A smile appears on Lexa’s lips at that. 

 

Bust still unsure what to say, all that comes out her mouth is, “Oh."

 

“So, are you gonna tell me why you’re here?” Clarke asks, looking from her to their friends behind her and back. 

 

Lexa rubs the back of her neck, suddenly very, very nervous. “I… It’s difficult for me to say...”

 

“Try,” Clarke urges gently, and for the first time, Lexa doesn’t miss the look of hope in her eyes.

 

Lexa’s heart stops in her chest. 

 

“I never thought Beth was good enough for you,” Lexa begins, Clarke arches an eyebrow but doesn’t say anything, so Lexa continues, her voice quiet to try and keep their conversation private, “I never really thought anyone was good enough for you. You’re my best friend Clarke, you have been since the beginning of college, of course no one in my eyes is going to be suitable.” 

 

That makes Clarke grin and she says, “Oh yeah? And who do you think is good enough for me?” she asks, her voice teasing and light and Lexa thinks it might be flirting. 

 

It spurs Lexa on, and she says, “I didn't really think I was one for cliches, you know I hate them. But…” Lexa takes a deep breath. It’s now or never. “You’re very easy to fall for Clarke.” Lexa swears she actually hears Clarke’s breath catch in her throat. “I know you might not feel the same-“

 

And then Clarke is kissing her and it’s like the day in the hospital all over again. 

 

But this time Clarke’s lips aren’t chapped, and there are no tears. 

 

Her lips are soft, and a hand cups Lexa’s cheek. 

 

Lexa gets so lost in the feeling of Clarke’s lips on hers she doesn’t even hear their friends squeals of excitement.

 

All too soon Clarke is pulling back ever so slightly, with just enough space between them so she can whisper. 

 

“You’re pretty easy to fall for too.” 

 

They still have a lot to talk about, but in that moment, nothing else matters but Clarke. 

 

 

 


	5. the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Firstly, I would like to thank everyone for the wonderful comments on the last chapter and the continued support. Secondly, I would like to apologise to people who follow me on tumblr when I promised I'd update on the weekend, but better late than never I guess??? Anyone who reads any of my stories, will probably know by now that I'm absolutely terrible at keeping to a schedule.
> 
> Anyway, onto the story!

They decide to walk home because they want to talk. And while they know that the cab driver probably won’t be listening to them or care what they say, they want their conversation to be private, just between the two of them. 

 

Lexa tentatively takes Clarke’s hand, as if she might pull away, but Clarke just looks at her, her smile in her eyes and squeezes back tighter. 

 

Thankfully, their friends seem to realise they want to be alone, so they silently make their departure. In the back of her mind, Lexa knows that they’re going to be bombarded with all kinds of questions soon, but she can’t bring herself to care. 

 

Not when Clarke is next to her, holding her hand, her lips still tingling form their kisses moments ago. 

 

The walk back should take about twenty minutes, though it will probably be closer to half an hour with the pace of their stroll. But they’re not rushing.

 

For a short while, they don’t talk. They just take in the city, the way it’s so quiet, but never silent all at once. 

 

Lexa glances up and notices a few stars dotted across the night sky. There aren’t many, not in the city, but Lexa doesn’t need them, not with Clarke next to her. 

 

The thought brings a smile to her lips, and silently she tugs Clarke’s hand so the blonde moves closer so that she can press a kiss against her temple. 

 

“What was that for?” Clarke asks, grinning at her. 

 

Lexa shrugs, “Just because.” 

 

Clarke squeezes Lexa’s hand again. And then, “We should probably talk right?” 

 

Lexa nods, “Yes,” she says, but is unsure where she should start. Clarke seems to be having the same issue because neither make an effort to speak first. And so after a moment, Lexa decides to take the initiative. She clears her throat, “So… Octavia told me something interesting.” 

 

Clarke looks at her confused, “She did?” 

 

“Yeah, about the first day we met, at the party.” 

 

Lexa watches as Clarke’s cheeks flush bright red and she knows instantly that Clarke knows what she’s talking about. 

 

“That bitch,” Clarke says, “I’m going to kill her,” but Lexa can hear the joke in her voice.

 

Lexa laughs, “So you think I’m hot?” she teases. 

 

Clarke’s cheeks are still pink as she rolls her eyes, but then she says, “No, I think you’re beautiful,” and this time it’s Lexa’s turn to blush. 

 

“Shut up,” Lexa says.

 

Clarke just laughs, “It’s true. Take the compliment Woods.” 

 

“I don’t know how.”

 

“I always call you beautiful.” 

 

“Not like this,” Lexa breaths. 

 

And then Clarke is pulling them to a stop. In the next second Lexa feels a pair of lips on hers. Clarke backs her up until Lexa’s back hits a street lamp and they kiss under the light until they have to come up for air. 

 

“You’re beautiful,” Clarke says, out of breath. 

 

“I love you,” Lexa whispers. “I love you,” she says, her voice stronger this time. 

 

And Clarke smiles. It’s one of those rare smiles, that people save for incredibly special moments, one that lights up Lexa’s world, one that makes her smile just the same. 

 

“I know. I love you too.” 

 

.

 

Eventually, they start walking again, closer this time, their shoulders almost touching. Lexa can tell Clarke wants to ask her something, she can almost see the cogs turning in her mind. 

 

And so she gently says, “You can ask me anything Clarke.”

 

Clarke licks her lips. “When did you start to have feelings for me?” she asks, straight to the point. 

 

Lexa chuckles, because she’s been wondering the same. “When haven’t I had feelings for you,” she says lightly. 

 

Clarke bumps their shoulders together, “Lexa,” she whines. 

 

Lexa laughs, “It’s true!” she exclaims, trying to make light of the whole thing. “Really Clarke. From the moment I saw you at that party.”

 

“Wait. Really?” Clarke asks, shocked. 

 

Lexa nods, more serious now, “Really. You know, I actually saw you when you first walked in. Anya dragged me to the party and I really didn’t want to be there. I was waiting by the door because I was going to finish my beer and then make a quick exit,” she recalls. “Then you walked in. I don’t remember who you were with, but I do remember that you were wearing black jeans and a shimmery green top. You walked past me and it smelt like vanilla.”

 

Lexa is so caught up in the memory, that she doesn’t realise Clarke is staring at her in awe until she finishes speaking. 

 

“I can’t believe you remember all that.”

 

The brunette just shrugs, “Like I said, I started to fall for you the moment I saw you. After that night though, we became such good friends. I have to say, I was slightly disappointed that you never wore that perfume again after that.” 

 

Clarke chuckles, “It was the last of it, I got it from my aunt for like my fifteenth birthday and barely used it until several months before college started. When I looked for another bottle, it turns out it had been discontinued.”

 

“Damn,” Lexa says. “Anyway, this next part might sound creepy, but I followed you into the room you were in and kind of just waited there, hoping I’d have the courage to say something to you. In the end I didn’t have to because, well you spoke to me first. Though I suppose I mistook you speaking to me as a sign of friendship rather than your interest in me, but I didn’t mind at the time. I think I was just happy you wanted to talk to me at all.”

 

“You never said anything, you never hinted at anything. Not until after I got pregnant with Bella, and even then I wasn’t sure if you were being nice, or if you liked me.” 

 

Lexa looks at her bashfully, “At first I didn’t say anything because I guess I didn’t want to risk loosing one of the only friendships I had besides Anya, and then after that we became such good friends. I didn’t want to risk losing you.”

 

“You could never lose me.” 

 

“Raven said the same thing.” 

 

“So Raven did know?” 

 

“She realised it at the baby shower.” 

 

“She’s good,” Clarke says. 

 

“So what about you?” Lexa asks. 

 

“What about me?” 

 

“When did you first have feelings for me?” 

 

Clarke is silent for a moment, and Lexa doesn’t know whether she is trying to remember or trying to formulate what she wants to say. 

 

And then, “…I don’t know if I can actually pinpoint a moment,” Clarke confesses. “Is that bad?” 

 

“Of course not,” Lexa assures. 

 

“As I’ve learned that Octavia has now told you, I did find you attractive when we first met,” Clarke says and Lexa can’t help but grin at her words. Clarke slaps her on the shoulder when she sees her smirk. “Shut up,” she laughs. “Anyway, after that, you’re right, we did become really great friends. Best friends. And so my romantic feelings for you definitely were locked away inside of my head for a while. Thinking back now, I remember disliking it whenever you had a girlfriend or had a one night stand, but I don’t think I knew it was jealously. I think I just thought that no one was good enough for you.”

 

“So your feelings are recent?” Lexa asks, not because she cares how long ago Clarke started having feelings for her, but because she is genuinely curious. 

 

“More recent than you, but really I think they started during my pregnancy,” Clarke recalls. “At first, I think I might have thought that what I was feeling was just gratitude because you were so amazing during the whole thing. And then I thought it was my hormones. But as I entered my third trimester and everything started to balance out again, I realised that maybe I was feeling something more."

 

Lexa can’t help but feel light, as if the world has been lifted off her shoulders. Because everything Clarke is saying, ever word that falls from her lips, is just solidifying that _this_ is real. Their feelings for each other are real. 

 

“Were you ever going to say something?” Lexa asks. 

 

“I like to think so, I tried to drop hints, and I probably spent way to long analysing how you acted towards me to see if you felt the same. But also, after Bella was born, a relationship was the last thing on my mind. I definitely knew I wasn’t ready for one, no matter who it was, Bella was my only priority at the time,” Clarke says and Lexa understands completely. 

 

“Of course,” Lexa agrees. 

 

“When Beth asked me out recently, it made me feel nice but I think a part of me wanted to say yes just because I wanted to see if I was ready.” 

 

“And then Bella got sick…” 

 

“And then Bella got sick,” Clarke repeats, “And I realised that maybe I wasn’t ready after all.”

 

“…But, what about us?” Lexa asks, because Beth after all is still incredibly recent.

 

Clarke once again pulls them to a stop, this time so she can gaze into Lexa’s eyes. “Lexa, this… _us_ …. we’re different. We’re so much more than some woman I met in a park. I know that all of this so new, and there probably isn’t any right time to start a relationship with a child in the mix, but if I were to start one, I know I want it to be with you.”

 

Lexa blinks and she feels tears prickle behind her eyelids. 

 

Her voice shakes as she speaks, “I can’t believe I’m hearing you say these things to me. It feels like I’m going to wake up from the best dream of my life.” 

 

“It’s real.” 

 

“I know,” Lexa sighs happily. “You know how dense I am with relationships. Hell, you kissed me and I put it up to pregnancy hormones!” 

 

That makes Clarke laugh, “I thought you only kissed me in the moment!” 

 

Lexa just shakes her head in disbelief, “God we’re idiots.”

 

“But I love you anyway-“

 

“-So it’s ok,” Lexa finishes. 

 

Clarke reaches up and cups her face, her thumb rubs across her cheek and it feels like that moment at the baby shower. Except this time, Clarke doesn’t kiss her cheek, she kiss her properly and it makes Lexa so happy that she can’t help but ruin it with her smile. 

 

Clarke pulls back ever so slightly, “I wish Raven wasn’t such a good friend, then she might have told me,” she teases.

 

“I kind of wished she had,” Lexa muses, “Then we could have been doing this, for much longer.” 

 

Their noses brush together as Clarke hums in agreement, “Come on, let’s go home.” 

 

She presses her lips against Clarke’s one last time, and Lexa thinks, maybe she already is. 

 

.

 

They get home soon after that and they don’t have to talk to each other to know that they’ll be sharing a bed that night. Lexa just tugs on a shirt to sleep in when her door inches open and Clarke slips inside. She closes the door silently behind her. 

 

They’ve shared a bed hundreds of times, they cuddle at least once a day. But this time it’s different, because they’re different.

 

Lexa climbs into bed first and Clarke follows suit not a second later. She opens her arms and Clarke curls into her side, fitting perfectly. 

 

“I do have one more thing to ask you,” Clarke says, her voice quiet in the dark room. 

 

“Anything,” Lexa murmurs. 

 

“You’ve had feelings for me for so long, so why did you start sleeping with Riley?” 

 

That makes Lexa pause, not because the question scares her, but because she wants to make sure she explains herself right. 

 

“I think it’s because, at the time it felt as if you’d never feel the same,” Lexa admits quietly. “A tiny part of me tried to move on. Of course it was hopeless, I was still madly in love with you. Riley actually knew how I felt about you, we were very clear with each other that it was a physical relationship that we had,” her nose scrunches up, because she feels slightly uncomfortable talking to Clarke about this, especially now.

 

“Wow,” Clarke says, “I had no idea, I just assumed that one of you was going to catch feelings for the other.” 

 

Lexa chuckles, “Not everything is a romcom, Clarke.” 

 

Clarke pinches Lexa’s side and she squeals because it tickles. 

 

“She and I are both similar in that we can separate feelings from sex when we need to, and so I guess it just worked for us. It helped that Riley is just a really good friend as well, we spoke about you a lot. I think I continued it for as long as I did because-“ Lexa cuts herself off, realising she probably shouldn’t say what she was about too.

 

“Lex?” 

 

“Um… it doesn’t matter.”

 

Clarke sits up slightly so she can look at Lexa, who she can just make out from the street light filtering in through the window. 

 

“Hey, you can say anything to me.” 

 

“I know,” Lexa says quickly. She hesitates for another second, but then Clarke quirks her eyebrow, “Fine,” she relents. “What I had with Riley was _fun,_ at the time anyway, and in a weird way I think it actually helped me mature.Eventually I realised that I couldn’t keep the whole situation going, especially because I was really beginning to consider talking to you.” 

 

And then surprisingly, Clarke begins to giggle. “I don’t care that you slept with Riley, Lex. I mean I do, but that’s because I wanted to be with you. Bur really, I don’t actually care that you slept with her, we weren’t together. And even though I hate to admit it, she is actually really nice.” 

 

“Did you know you’re kind of perfect?” Lexa says. 

 

“Yes,” Clarke replies, “But I still like to hear it.” 

 

.

 

Lexa can’t stop the feeling of wanting to be near Clarke at all times. This morning, they brushed their teeth side by side, their hips practically conjoined. During breakfast Lexa sat next to Clarke just so she could place a hand on her thigh during the meal. And she kissed her every chance she got. And the best thing was, was that Clarke was exactly the same. 

 

Now they are sat in the car, driving to Clarke’s parents house, Lexa is driving, but whenever she doesn’t have to use two hands, one finds it’s place on either Clarke’s leg or in her hand. She just revels in the way Clarke brushes the back of her hand with her thumb and it sends happy tingles all down her back. 

 

Soon are pulling into the driveway, and Clarke is climbing out of the car before she even shuts off the engine, eager to see her daughter. 

 

Lexa isn’t far behind, and not a minute later they are striding into the Griffin household, Clarke calling out, “Bella! We’re here!” 

 

They find the trio in the kitchen. Bella is in a high chair being entertained by a toy Lexa has never seen, as Abby works making what looks like some kind of pie. 

As soon as Bella sees them her eyes light up, “Mama!” Bella squeals, she lifts her arms up in the air and Clarke swoops her up into her arms. 

 

“Hi baby,” Clarke coos, “I missed you so much.” 

 

“And hello mom,” Abby says mimicking Clarke, “It’s nice to see you, thank you for looking after my daughter.” 

 

Clarke rolls her eyes at her mom’s antics, then she goes over to her mother and kisses her cheek, “Hi mom, thanks for taking care of Bella for me.” 

 

“Much better, and you’re welcome,” Abby says, she goes over to Lexa next and hugs her, “Hi Lexa, it’s nice to see you sweetie.” 

 

“You too Abby,” Lexa replies. Lexa’s attention is soon taken over by Bella, who reaches out for her. 

 

“Mama,” Bella says. 

 

Abby’s eyebrows raise slightly, “She calls you mama?” 

 

Lexa takes Bella from Clarke, holding her in one arm and using her free hand to hold Bella’s hand. The toddler immediately begins to play with her fingers. “I was just as surprised as you at first. She doesn’t do it as often now, and I’ve explained to her that I’m Lexa, but she’s not even two yet, so…” Lexa shrugs. 

 

“She’ll learn eventually,” Clarke adds. 

 

Lexa nods, “Plus, I think she has a hard time saying my name. She hasn’t said it yet, and I’ve tried. _A lot_.” 

 

Then all of a sudden comes Jake’s booming voice, “Is that my child I hear?” 

 

“Hey dad!” Clarke calls. 

 

A second later Jake wanders into the kitchen and pulls his daughter into a tight hug. He hugs Lexa next, thought slightly looser because of Bella who is still in her arms. After the hug ends, Bella wiggles and so Lexa puts her down, letting her go where she wants. 

 

“How are my two favourite girls, not including Bella of course.” Abby clears her throat. “You don’t count dear, you are always at the top of my list.” 

 

“Better,” Abby teases. 

 

Clarke catches Lexa’s eye, and she sends her a look as if to ask, ‘do we tell them?’. Lexa thinks about it for a second then nods, because it’s not like they have anything to hide. 

 

“Actually, mom and dad, we have something to tell you-” 

 

“Please don’t tell me you’re pregnant again,” Abby interrupts, “I love Bella dearly, but seriously, do you need me to buy you some condoms?”

 

“Mom!” Clarke exclaims, blushing in embarrassment. Lexa can’t help but laugh and she and Jake share and amused look. “No, I’m not pregnant!” 

 

“I was just checking,” Abby raises her hands in defence. 

 

“Can I continue?” Clarke asks. Her parents remain silent. “Thank you. As I was saying, we have to tell you something.” 

 

Clarke steps closer to Lexa, taking her hand, “We just thought you should know, that we are together now.” 

 

Silence. 

 

And then finally, “Wait. Like, together together?” Jake asks. 

 

“Yes.” 

 

“As in,” he holds out his hands and interlocks his fingers, repeating the action a few times. 

 

Clarke rolls her eyes, “Yes dad. As in, in a relationship.” 

 

“Lexa, you’re gay?” 

 

“Dad!” Clarke exclaims and Lexa snorts. 

 

Jake bursts out laughing, “Ok, I’m sorry. I’m just kidding. Also, surprised, and confused?” he adds.

 

“What I think your father means to say is that we’re really happy for both of you, but we also had no idea either of you felt this way,” Abby explains. 

  

Lexa decides it’s her turn to explain things, so she does. Telling them what she and Clarke spoke about last night, but a much shorter version and with a few details left out. After Lexa is finished, there is another moment of silence, before Jake pulls everyone into a group hug and really, everything just feels perfect. 

 

Lexa feels a tap on the back of her leg and she pulls back from the hug to see Bella at her feet, reaching up at her. Lexa picks her up off the ground and then hug continues straight away. 

 

“So I guess you guys really are a family after all,” Jake says. 

 

Clarke and Lexa share a smile, “I guess we are.” 

 

.

 

Later that night Clarke and Lexa are in bed, Bella was put to bed a couple hours ago and when Lexa suggested watching nature documentaries on her laptop it was clear that Clarke didn’t have the heart to say no. 

 

“We don’t have to,” Lexa says one last time. 

 

“Just play the damn documentary Woods.” 

 

They make it about twenty five minutes until Lexa hears Clarke’s breathing change and she knows she’s fallen asleep. A part of Lexa doesn’t know why Clarke lets her watch the documentaries when they always make her fall asleep. Another part of her loves that Clarke watches them with her just because she knows Lexa likes them. 

 

Lexa closes the laptop quietly and deposits it on the floor next to the bed. Then gently, she shakes Clarke’s shoulder to rouse her from sleep. 

 

“Clarke.”

 

“Hmm… what?” Clarke half sits up, her eyes flutter open. Then she shoots up straighter, “Oh crap I fell asleep didn’t I?” 

 

Lexa laughs. “Yeah you did.” 

 

“God, I’m sorry.” 

 

“Don’t be, I was going to let you sleep but you’re still in jeans.” 

 

“You could’ve just taken them off me,” Clarke says and Lexa blushes as the images of her doing just that pass through her mind. 

 

“Oh well I wasn’t sure- and…” Lexa stumbles and Clarke grins. 

 

“You’re cute.” 

 

And then Clarke is kissing her. Somehow it’s soft but passionate at the same time. And not long after Lexa feels Clarke’s hands begin to wander, not that she minds at all. Clarke kisses her way to her ear and Lexa has to hold back a moan as Clarke’s lips descend to her neck. 

 

“Um Clarke,” Lexa says, breathless, “Are you sure you want to do this? You were just asleep three minutes ago.” 

 

Clarke takes her mouth away from Lexa’s throat just long enough to murmur, “Lexa, you can safely assume that I always want to do this.” 

 

Lexa feels Clarke’s teeth scrape along her skin and she gasps, pleasure shooting down her spine. “Oh ok.” 

 

Clarke’s chuckle is low and throaty and so incredibly sexy. She moves away from Lexa for only a second, so that she can gaze into her eyes. “You’re cute, did I tell you that?” 

 

And then Lexa is being pinned to the bed, her arms above her head. “I think you might have mentioned it.”

 

“Mm,” Clarke hums before kissing Lexa again. Then, “Good,” she says into the kiss. 

 

Lexa isn’t sure how long they kiss. But she is sure that she could do this forever and never complain. At some point Clarke tugs on Lexa’s shirt until it’s off, then it’s thrown on the floor, forgotten. Next Lexa’s jeans disappear, and if someone were to ask her the next day when that happened, she wouldn’t be able to say. 

 

“What about you?” Lexa says, after breaking the kiss. 

 

Clarke arches an eyebrow, “I did tell you to take off my jeans.” 

 

.

 

The next morning, wakes way too early, and there is a nude Clarke lying next to her and a crying toddler over the monitor. 

 

And really, Lexa wouldn’t have it any other way. 

 

.

 

It’s sometime next week and Bella is asleep, because it’s almost 10 o’clock at night, but Lexa and Clarke’s living room is packed full with their friends who had forced their way into the apartment not five minutes ago. 

 

They have all already made themselves comfortable in the living room, taking up all the space, so Lexa has to drag in two of the kitchen chairs for them to sit on. 

 

“Way to kick us off of our own furniture,” Lexa says as she sits down. 

 

“Hey, I'm normally the one on that, so you can take your turn,” Jasper replies from where he is sat lounged in the armchair. 

 

“Still our furniture.” 

 

“And this is still my but on it,” Jasper jokes. 

 

Lexa gets up specifically so she can flick his forehead. He yelps and Lexa slaps his leg, “Bella is asleep,” she reminds. 

 

Jasper holds his hands up in defence, “My bad.” 

 

“So what are all you idiots doing in our apartment this late?” Clarke asks as Lexa sits back down. 

 

“Technically it’s not that late,” Anya says, and before Clarke can interrupt she adds, “And yes we know you have a kid.”

 

“We’re here because we’ve left you guys alone long enough to get your shit together, and now you’re going to tell us what’s going on between you too.”

 

“What like an intervention?” Clarke says. 

 

“More like an intense question and answer,” Octavia says. 

 

Clarke and Lexa share a look, Clarke silently asking ‘are we really going to do this?’, and Lexa replies with her own look as if to say ‘well they’re gonna keep asking if we don’t tell them’. Clarke sighs, knowing Lexa is right. 

 

“Ugh,” Clarke groans, “Fine. But you each only get two questions.” 

 

Not a second later, questions are being thrown at them from left and right and Lexa can barely understand any of them. Luckily it isn’t too loud, but all the words do jumble together. 

 

Over the noise, Lexa looks to Clarke again. And she mouths, “I immediately regret this.” 

 

“Me too,” Clarke mouths back. 

 

Lexa smiles, then she holds her hand out to Clarke who takes it, squeezing encouragingly. They share one last look before Clarke begins answering the first of many questions. 

 

.

 

Over the next few weeks Clarke and Lexa are in relationship bliss. Their ‘honeymoon phase’ if you will. Well as much as they can be with a toddler to look after.

 

If it’s possible, when Lexa is at work, she spends more of her day thinking about Clarke than before. Then when the work day is finally over she rushes home to be with her two favourite blondes. 

 

Today is like every other day, Lexa just can’t wait to get home, and so when she does, she swings open the door widely and calls out, “Honey I’m home!” 

 

But the sight in front of her makes her pause. Because it’s complete chaos. There is flour splattered all over the floor, and a half naked Bella sitting in the middle of it all. Clarke is just crouching down next to her when the blonde hears her, and turns to look in her direction. 

 

“We had an accident,” Clarke announces. 

 

Lexa blinks. 

 

“I can see that,” she says. 

 

A small smile forces it’s way through at the sight of Bella playing in the flour, the little girl completely oblivious to the trouble she just caused, while another part of her wonders what the hell happened. 

 

Lexa drops her bag by the door, which she kicks shut before heading over to the two girls. 

 

“So I hope one of you is going to tell me what happened, and I have a feeling it won’t be Bella,” Lexa jokes lightly. 

 

“We were trying to make a cake for Jasper’s birthday,” Clarke begins, “As you can see, it didn’t go quite as planned. I turned my back to wash a few bowls for maybe a minute, two if I’m pushing it and I turn around and realise that the bag of flour and Bella are gone. Luckily there was a trail telling me exactly where she went,” she says with a roll of her eyes. 

 

Lexa bursts out laughing, she can’t help herself. And Clarke in return, slaps her on the shoulder. 

 

“Don’t laugh!” She exclaims. “It will encourage this kind of behaviour.” 

 

“I’m sorry!” Lexa apologises, though she thinks that Clarke knows she’s not entirely sincere. 

 

The next forty five minutes is spent cleaning up after the toddler. They give Bella a dustpan and brush to help, even though it is more to show the importance of teamwork rather than her actually doing anything, she isn’t even two after all. 

 

Lexa is sure that the clean up wouldn't have taken nearly as long if the lid on Bella’s sippy cup hadn’t fallen off when the little girl dropped it, which effectively turned portion of the flour into a sticky doughy mess.

 

Eventually the living room and kitchen are looking respectable again, so the trio head into the kitchen to finish the cake that Clarke had started. 

 

Clarke pours the batter she made before the whole disaster, into two separate pans, ready to go in the oven while Lexa prepares all the tools and ingredients needed for baking. Bella is now sat in her high chair where she can’t get into trouble, eating a few grapes that Lexa had cut up for her.

 

Clarke places the pans in the oven, and closes it before coming to join Lexa at the kitchen table. She kisses Lexa lightly on the lips.

 

“Hi,” she grins, “I forgot to do that earlier,” Clarke says as she sits down on the seat next to Lexa’s. 

 

“Well we were a bit busy,” Lexa replies, with a smile to match Clarke’s. 

 

“So tell me, how was your day? How was work?” She asks.

 

“It was good I think, I got a lot done. Though Wallace keeps changing his mind on what he wants soevery time we think we’re almost done with the plans, we keep having to do edits,” Lexa rolls her eyes. 

 

Clarke squeezes her thigh comfortingly, “He’s an idiot, I know you’re killing it.” 

 

“Thanks Clarke.”

 

“Did you like the lunch I packed you?” Clarke asks next. 

 

Every once and a while Lexa finds a packed lunch in the fridge for her with a little note stuck to it from Clarke and today was one of those days. Lexa always finds it adorable, and she has all fifteen(now sixteen) sticky notes stored away in her bedside table. 

 

“It was delicious. Who knew I’d like quinoa.”

 

“I figured we could try and be healthy, sometimes at least,” Clarke chuckles, “Set a good example and all.” 

 

“Probably a good idea,” Lexa agrees. “Speaking of lunch, that reminds me. Riley asked me if I wanted to have lunch with her tomorrow, is that ok?” 

 

“Lexa you don’t have to ask my permission.”

 

“Oh,” Lexa says slightly surprised. “I just thought you might not want me too, considering…” she trails off. 

 

“That you slept with her?” Clarke finishes, arching an eyebrow. 

 

Lexa feels heat rise in her cheeks, “Well… yeah.” 

 

“Lexa, my love. As I’ve said before we weren’t together then. And I trust you 100%,” Clarke says. “Sure I probably won’t ever get to a point where I could be her friend. But she is yours, and I’m not going to stop you from spending time with her.” 

 

“I don’t have to go. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable,” Lexa says sincerely. 

 

“Do you stop me from talking to Beth when Bella wants to spend time with Thomas?” 

 

“Well no, because that’s not fair- oh,” Lexa says in understanding. “Though that’s slightly different because you didn’t sleep with her and it’s also for Bella-“

 

“Just shut up Lex.” 

 

“Sorry.” 

 

“I know you’re just trying to be thoughtful, but really, I don’t mind. Riley is your friend.” 

 

A relieved look passes over Lexa’s face. “If you're sure,” Lexa says one final time. 

 

Clarke gives her a dramatic eye roll. She just presses her lips to Lexa’s in another chaste kiss but it makes Lexa’s eyes flutter shut, happiness spreading through her chest like normal at the kiss. 

 

Then Clarke murmurs, “I trust you.”

 

.

 

Lexa feels like an awful friend, because ever since she began dating Clarke officially, she’s been pushing her friendship with Riley to the side. 

 

It’s not that she meant too, but she has been so swept up in the whole thing that is somehow just happened. And not just with Riley, she’s done the same with her other friends. But the fog of the new relationship has lifted now, though only ever so slightly, and Lexa plans on fixing her mistake now.

 

Lexa walks into the cafe, her laptop bag over her shoulder. She’s dressed in her work clothes, so slacks and a nice top tucked in, her hair is in a practical high ponytail. She gazes around the room and immediately spots Riley sitting by the window, but the other woman doesn’t notice her, too absorbed in her phone. 

 

She makes her way over and taps Riley on the shoulder who looks up quickly at the touch. “Oh! Sorry! I didn’t see you come in!” She says as she stands to hug her hello.

 

“Aha don’t worry about it,” Lexa assures. She deposits her laptop bag on the floor next to the chair then takes a seat. “Have you ordered yet?” 

 

They spend the next few minutes deciding on what to get and then Lexa goes up for both of them to order their food. She comes back five minutes later with two delicious looking sandwiches, a black coffee for Riley and an iced tea for herself. 

 

Soon, they are both digging in, hungry from their mornings work and also both on an hour time frame. 

 

During their catch up conversation Lexa somehow finds the time to apologise for not spending time with Riley over the last few weeks and she’s relieved to see Riley just laugh and wave her apology off. 

 

“Seriously, if I was in your position I would be the same,” Riley says. “But now that I have you here you have to tell me everything. It’s not the same over text. How did you tell her?” Riley asks in a flurry and Lexa chuckles at the keen look on her friend’s face. 

 

And so Lexa tells her. It’s nice to relive that night; and every moment from then on, if Lexa’s being honest. 

 

Riley listens with interest and it just reminds Lexa of how happy she is to have met the woman. They may not have been right for each other in a relationship sense, but friendship wise, they definitely are. 

 

Lexa is sure she rambles and talks for too long, but when it comes to Clarke she can’t really stop herself. Thankfully Riley doesn’t seem to mind, really only commenting here and there to let her speak. 

 

Finally after a good fifteen minutes of talking almost non stop, Lexa finishes recounting everything about how she told Clarke how she felt and the lead up to it. 

 

“God, good thing Octavia found out, or you might have never said anything,” Riley laughs. 

 

“I would have got around to it eventually.” 

 

“Sure you would have,” Riley replies sarcastically. 

 

“So what about you?” Lexa asks, deciding she’s spoken enough about herself. Lexa watches as a light blush appears on Riley’s cheeks and a small smile on her lips, and she knows immediately that the woman is seeing someone. “Ok who is it?” She asks. 

 

“Am I that easy to read?” 

 

“Yes,” Lexa states, “You haven’t said a word and you’re clearly smitten.” 

 

“Ugh fine, you’re right.”

 

“Knew it.” 

 

Riley sends her a pointed look and Lexa just sticks her tongue out at her. “Anyway, one of the teachers at my school has been on maternity leave and so there’s a new sub that’s taken her place.”

 

“Ooh, a work place romance, how scandalous,” Lexa teases. 

 

Riley laughs, “Not quite,” she says, “Her name’s Hanna.” 

 

“I’m gonna assume she’s really nice.”

 

“She is, she’s incredibly intelligent as well, and we have so much in common” 

 

“She sounds wonderful,” Lexa tells her, “How long have you guys been seeing each other?” 

 

“Only a few weeks, but it feels so much longer than that. At first we were just friends, but then we started having lunch every day together in my classroom and it kind of just lead on from there.” 

 

Lexa smiles, because she loves seeing her Riley so happy. “What does she look like?” Lexa asks next, unable to stop her curiosity. 

 

Instead of describing her, Riley takes out her phone and pulls up a picture of the two of them. Lexa notices that they’re on Riley’s sofa, but then pays more attention to what Hanna actually looks like. 

 

She’s beautiful, that’s for sure, a sweet smile and kind eyes. In the picture she’s wearing glasses that have a thin wire rim, making her look quite hipstery, in Lexa’s opinion. But what Lexa notices most is how happy both of them look. 

 

“She’s beautiful,” Lexa says. 

 

“She is, but you can’t have her,” Riley jokes. 

 

Lexa rolls her eyes, “I’m happily taken.”

 

“God, look at us. In actual relationships and shit.” 

 

“We’re growing up.”

 

“Finally.”

 

.

 

It’s a Saturday morning. Clarke is in the kitchen making breakfast for all of them while Lexa dresses Bella. She lifts Bella out of her cot, the little girl getting bigger and heavier by the day, then lays her down on the changing table. She makes quick work of the diaper, taking the dirty one off, cleaning her up and then slipping a new one on. 

 

“Nice and clean,” Lexa announces. 

 

“‘Lean,” Bella echoes. 

 

“Yeah baby, clean,” she grins. Bella’s reached that stage where she tries to repeat what everyone around her are saying, but especially her and Clarke and it’s incredibly adorable. “Ok, now what to wear…”

 

She takes Bella off the changing table, because leaving a toddler on a changing table is one of the top no no's of looking after kids, and rests her on her hip before taking the few steps over to her chest of drawers. She pulls open the top drawer and begins to rifle through. 

 

It’s what she finds a certain shirt that an idea appears in Lexa’s mind, “Bella, your mom’s gonna love this.”

 

.

 

Ten minutes later Lexa and Bella walk into the kitchen, Lexa holding Bella’s hand for support, even though she’s getting to the point where she doesn’t really need it. Clarke is standing with her back to them, pouring coffee into two mugs and juice into Bella’s sips cup. 

 

“We’re ready,” Lexa announces. 

 

“Thanks Lex,” Clarke says without turning around. 

 

Lexa pouts when Clarke doesn’t turn around right away. “Clarke,” she says. 

 

“Yeah?” The blonde says, still not turning. 

 

Lexa rolls her eyes, “Clarke, look this way.”

 

Finally Clarke turns and as soon as she does she bursts out laughing, a huge grin appearing. Because not only did Lexa change Bella's outfit, she also changed her own and now they sport matching clothes. They’re both dressed in denim jean shorts, a white t-shirt and flannel shirts wrapped around their waists that are almost identical, sunglasses perched on their heads. 

 

“Oh my god! You guys look adorable,” Clarke squeals. 

 

Lexa crouches down next to Bella and gently nudges her elbow against her arm, “Told you she’d love it Bell.”

 

“Ok I have to post this on Instagram, I’m gonna grab my phone.” 

 

Clarke comes back several seconds later and demands that Lexa and Bella pose for her, which of course they do. Lexa stays crouched down with Bella, both of them pull down their sunglasses and after showing Bella how, they each hold up a peace sign. It’s cheesy and dumb, but it’s also hilarious and cute. Plus Clarke loves it. 

 

“Perfect,” the blonde states after snapping a few pictures of them. After, Lexa lifts Bella into her high chair before putting her cut up fruit and cereal in front of her, while Clarke brings their coffee and bagels to the table.“So where did this idea come from?” Clarke asks as they sit down, Clarke and Lexa sitting next to each other with Bella at the end of the table near Clarke. 

 

“I thought you’d like it.” 

 

That makes Clarke grin, “Well you were right about that.”

 

“Knew it,” Lexa fist pumps and she swears she hears Clarke mutter ‘loser’ under her breath, “Also this way when Bella and I go to the mall later, she’ll be easy to spot in the crowd if she gets lost.”

 

“Oh yeah I forgot you were going there.”

 

“You sure you don’t want to come?" 

 

“You know I'd love to come, but my mom needs my help transporting stuff for her hospitals fundraiser.”

 

“I know, I know, I was just teasing,” Lexa says, "And you're sure you don’t need my help?"

 

“You're sweet, but this little terror needs new shoes, she’s growing so fast I swear,” Clarke says with a shake of her head. “You sure I can’t give you the money for them?” 

 

“Clarke, we’ve had this conversation at least a hundred times.” 

 

And they have, Lexa knows that Clarke always feels slightly guilty when she buys things for Bella, but more often than not it’s things that Bella actually needs, and though Lexa isn’t actually Bella’s mother, she feels as if she’s raising Clarke just the same. 

 

“Right, I’m sorry.” 

 

“You don't have to be sorry," Lexa assures gently, “just know that I love you and I love Bella and I want to help support her.”

 

Clarke pecks Lexa on the cheek, “I know, thank you.” 

 

.

 

The mall is quite busy, and while Lexa had planned on letting Bella walk next to her, she ends up strapping her into the stroller because it's easier to keep an eye on her and easier to manoeuvre through the crowds of people. 

 

Polis Mall is located a few miles outside the city, it’s a large building with tall ceilings and white walls. Countless shops line the walls, and escalators and lifts bring people to the 7 different floors. 

 

Lexa thinks the last time she visited was a few months ago when she needed knew jeans, she tries to not go very often. One, because it’s a nuisance to find a parking spot and two, because more often than not it’s packed with people. Also, if Lexa finds a store she likes she tends to go overboard, which is definitely not a good idea. 

 

But she figured she’d take a trip with Bella, considering the toddler needs new shoes and Lexa wouldn’t mind picking up a few t-shirts. 

 

They head to the children's shoe shop first. It’s filled with fathers and mothers and their kids. 

 

Lexa distinctly remembers a time when shops like this used to terrify her. If she is being honest, she didn’t think she would ever really want children, not because she doesn’t like them but because she thought furthering her career would be more important. With the arrival of Bella however, that all changed, and now when she sees places like this filled with young minds, and she can’t help but feel hopeful because these kids are the future. 

 

“Ok Bella, let’s find you some new kicks,” Lexa pauses. “Don’t tell your mom I just said kicks, she’ll tease me forever.” 

 

“Kicks!” Bella repeats. 

 

“No, that’s _not_ what we’re gonna call them.”

 

“Kick kick kicks.”

 

Lexa just chuckles, “Alright Bella, but when your mom teasing the poop outta me, I’m gone come to you first.”

 

They browse the shoes for a little while until Lexa finds what Clarke had suggested. She takes two different types off the shelf, one is a white sandal and the other is a light blue slip on shoe for day to day wear. 

 

Then they find an empty seat and Lexa unstraps Bella from the stroller. It takes a while because it’s busy, but eventually an employee comes up to them, equip to measure Bella’s feet. 

 

“You and your daughter look adorable in your outfits,” the sales woman says. 

 

Lexa grins down at Bella, who seems to sense that she’s being looked at and stares right back up, her sweet smile appearing.

 

“Thank you.”

 

“So you would like these two in her size?” The woman asks, getting back to business. 

 

“That would be perfect,” Lexa nods. 

 

Soon they are walking out the shop with two newly purchased pairs of shoes. Lexa tucks them underneath the stroller before continuing on, her eyes scanning the shops to see which one she should buy her t-shirts from. 

 

“So Bell, which shop should we go to first?” Lexa asks. 

 

“‘Rink,” Bella calls out. 

 

Lexa manoeuvres them to the side near a bench and out of the way. Then she reaches underneath the stroller and grabs Bella’s sippy cup, filled with water, before crouching in front of Bella. 

 

“Thirsty?” Lexa asks, handing her the cup. 

 

Bella takes one look at the drink before shaking her head. “Yuice?” the toddler says. 

 

“There’s no juice baby,” Lexa tells her gently.

 

“Yuice!” 

 

“I’m sorry Bella, but the juice is at home.” 

 

Lexa can spot Bella’s ‘I’m about to cry face’ from a mile off. She doesn’t cry that often, she’s actually very good in that sense, but she is a toddler after all and sometimes they don’t know how to handle their emotions. 

 

Not a second later Bella starts to cry, just short whines at first, but soon there are tears and red cheeks. 

 

“‘Rink!” Bella cries. 

 

“Bella, please don’t cry. We don’t have juice, but you can have this water.” 

 

Of course Bella doesn’t listen to her and the cries continue. People begin to stare, but Lexa doesn’t care. That is far from her mind, she just wants to make sure that Bella is ok. 

 

Lexa reaches into the stroller and unstraps Bella, but when she tries to pick the little girl up she thrashes her arms in protest. Lexa still picks her up and holds her against her chest even though Bella wiggles and pushes her arms against her. 

 

“Mama,” Bella calls. 

 

“Mom’s not here right now,” Lexa says as she takes a seat on the bench. She perches Bella on her lap. “We are going to sit here until you calm down ok?” 

 

And they do. Bella continues to cry and Lexa just rubs her back and murmurs soft words to soothe her. Eventually, after about ten minutes or so Bella calms down. So Lexa reaches under the stroller again and rummages around until she finds tissues. Then she gently wipes Bella’s cheeks, until all the tears are gone. 

 

“Are you better now?” Lexa asks and she thinks she see’s Bella nod her head slightly. “Good.” 

 

After a moment, Bella looks up at her and asks, “‘Rink?” 

 

Wordlessly Lexa hands Bella the sippy cup, who drinks from it immediately with no fuss. “See, water isn’t so bad,” Lexa says with a small smile. “How about we go t-shirt shopping now?” 

 

.

 

Lexa and Bella are watching Dora the Explorer when Clarke comes through the door looking exhausted. She shuts the door before leaning back on it, then she opens them. Her eyes meet Lexa’s and she smiles. 

 

“I hope you had a better day than I did,” Clarke says. 

 

“Did your mom repack the stuff you already did?” 

 

Clarke groans, as she pushes herself off the door “Yes, three times. I love helping out with that kind of stuff, but sometimes my mom is such a mom.” Clarke leans down and presses a kiss to Bella’s forehead. “Hi Bella. So how was shopping?” 

 

“We had a great day, right Bella?” Lexa says. “There was a small mishap when this one threw a bit of a t-a-n-t-r-u-m because I only had water, not juice, but after about ten minutes she calmed down and then we continued shopping.” 

 

Clarke sits down next to Bella, and wraps her arm around her back, “You alright Bella?”

 

Bella ignores her, too engrossed in the TV. Lexa just laughs, “Of course, she makes a scene and she’s already forgotten about it,” she jokes. 

 

“Did you get the shoes?” 

 

“We did and they’re precious and small.” 

 

“I swear you’re obsessed with Bella’s clothes.” 

 

“It’s the size Clarke. They’re tiny, like how does a human ever fit into those?” 

 

Clarke just shoves Lexa’s shoulder. Then leans over Bella, careful not to squish her, and presses a kiss to her cheek.

 

.

 

The saying ‘time flies by when you’re having fun’ is incredibly apt to Lexa’s life. Because all too soon Lexa, Clarke and Bella are in the supermarket, shopping for food and decorations for Bella’s second birthday party tomorrow. 

 

Lexa can’t quite believe how long it’s been since Bella came into their lives, and she dreads how fast time will pass in the future. But for now, she and Clarke are determined to give Bella the best second birthday they can. 

 

“Supermarket shopping time,” Lexa sings as she push the trolley along an aisle. 

 

Bella is in the little chair next to the bar, holding the shopping list, Clarke walking next to them, her eyes scanning the shelves for the items they need. Their trolley is half full at the moment with the food that they needed, but Lexa knows it’s going to get even more full when they add the party decorations.

 

This year’s birthday party is the same style as last year, though this time it’s at Clarke’s parents house because Bella’s park friends and their parents are also coming, and they need the extra space. 

 

“You’ve been singing that since we walked in,” Clarke states. 

 

“Because it’s a great song.” 

 

“It’s three words.”

 

“Three _great_ words.” 

 

“Three words can’t be great,” Clarke teases. 

 

Lexa grins. “I love you,” she says and she watches Clarke roll her eyes, which just makes Lexa laugh. 

 

“Way to ruin my fun with your dumb cuteness.” 

 

“It’s what I do best,” Lexa shrugs and Clarke bumps their hips together in response. 

 

Clarke spots the happy birthday banners and grabs three different kinds, she holds them up to Bella. “So Bella, which one?” she asks. 

 

Bella studies the banners for a moment, though it doesn’t really look like it, then she waves her arm to the furthest one on the right. 

 

“This one it is,” Clarke says, before tossing it into the trolley along with four others. “Now birthday hats.”

 

The process continues on, until they have a very mismatched set of decorations. But Clarke doesn’t mind because it’s what Bella chose. They end up with bright yellow banners; dinosaur party hats; plates with monster faces on them; cups that Lexa assumes are left over from valentines day have somehow found their way onto the shelf; and finally solid black streamers. 

 

Half an hour later they are loading the bags into the back of the car. 

 

“This is definitely going to be a party to remember,” Lexa states. 

 

“Oh definitely.” 

 

“I can’t wait to see some of the mom and dads face's when they see these decorations.” 

 

Lexa knows first hand and from Clarke’s stories that some of Bella’s friends parents can be…snobbish sometimes. Clarke puts up with it though, because she wants Bella to make friends. 

 

Lexa laughs, “What are they gonna do? Say you’re a terrible mom because you love your daughter?” 

 

“I mean, maybe,” Clarke jokes. 

 

“C’mon let’s get this stuff to your parent’s place before the ice-cream melts.”

 

.

 

As expected, when parents first arrived, Lexa had seen some surprised expressions when they made their way into the Griffin’s backyard. But mostly, parents had just guessed that Bella chose them and it made them smile. 

 

Lexa looks at the decorations they set up, combined with some fairy lights that Jake had laying around in the garage, and she thinks it looks nice. Endearing really. 

 

The party is in full swing now, and everyone who had said they were coming, arrived a good half an ago. Her friends and the children’s parents are chatting, and she’s pretty sure she spots Bellamy trying to hit on a single mom. Raven and Anya are in the middle of an arm wrestling contest that Lexa doesn’t even know how it started, and Lincoln and Octavia are talking to a couple holding a baby. At first Lexa doesn’t see Jasper and Monty, but soon spots them on the grass with Bella and Thomas playing with the transformer toys that Raven had given Bella for her birthday. 

 

At first, Lexa and Clarke were worried about all the small parts potentially falling off, but Raven assured that she checked it thoroughly and it is well made. 

 

“Everyone!” Lexa calls out into the backyard, making almost all eyes turn to her, “We’re about to sing happy birthday,” she announces. 

 

And then parents mobilise, plucking their children from where ever they are and gathers them around the table. Monty brings over Bella, as Clarke appears from the house, holding Bella’s cake which is big enough to feed an army.

 

Soon the backyard is full of the sound of singing, and after the song is over Clarke takes Bella from Monty and helps her blow out the candles. 

 

“Now, who wants some cake!” 

 

The cake is delicious and Lexa eats two slices, sneaking the second one while pretending it’s another piece for Bella. 

 

Lexa is in the middle of a conversation with Carlos, one of Bella’s friends dad, when she notices Clarke approaching with Bella in her arms. 

 

“Hey, what’s up?” She asks. 

 

“She’s getting a little fussy, I think she’s getting tired,” Clarke says bouncing Bella in her arms. 

 

“The sugar from the cake didn’t wake her up?” 

 

“I guess not,” Clarke shrugs. “I’m gonna go put her down before she starts crying.” 

 

As if on queue, Bella begins to whimper. She reaches her arm out towards Lexa and makes her normal grabbing motion that she does when she wants to switch arms. 

 

Lexa goes to take her but Clarke shakes her head, “Oh it’s ok, I’ll do it. You guys keep talking, I just thought I’d let you know.” 

 

“You sure?” Lexa asks. 

 

“Yeah,” Clarke says. Bella starts to wiggle in Clarke’s arms, reaching for Lexa again. “No baby, Lexa’s talking to someone.” 

 

And then Bella says, “‘Exa.” 

 

And Lexa’s heart stops. 

 

Her jaw drops. 

 

“Did she just say my name?” 

 

Clarke’s expression matches hers, as she looks at Bella in shock. “I think she did.” 

 

Tears well up in Lexa’s eyes, she can’t help it. It’s the same way she felt when Bella accidentally called her ‘mama’ for the first time, but possibly even better. 

 

Lexa takes Bella from Clarke’s arms who hands her over willingly. Lexa peppers Bella’s face with little kisses, that immediately stop any more crying that was about to occur. 

 

“I love you so much Bella,” Lexa whispers. 

 

“‘Exa.” 

 

“Yeah baby, that’s me.”

 

Lexa and Clarke put Bella to bed together. They go into the house and up the stairs to Clarke’s old bedroom, where Bella’s travel cot is. Lexa lays her down and Clarke covers her with a thin blanket. 

 

It’s something they do all the time. 

 

It’s nothing special. Not really. 

 

But it feels like it is. It feels different. 

 

Because now more than ever, they really are a family.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading! As you can see by this chapters title, this is technically the end. However, as you can also see there is six chapters in this story, and that is because the last one will be an epilogue. 
> 
> Expect what will hopefully be a long chapter filled with time jumps as we really see Bella get older and as Clarke and Lexa do as well. I will say now, that I don't know when the chapter will be posted, whether it is a week or two, however know that it is coming. 
> 
> Thank you again for reading everyone, glad you loved reading this as I have loved writing it :)


	6. the epilogue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might be the worst person on the planet for leaving you all hanging for so long. Hopefully you can forgive me. This epilogue has been a long time coming, and I'm not gonna lie I was drunk while writing the end, but hopefully it's still ok. 
> 
> Thanks for being so patient with me everyone, please enjoy!

**** For a few blissful months, neither Clarke or Lexa know the meaning of the ‘terrible twos’. Bella is still just as well behaved as she normally is, only crying or throwing a tantrum every so often. 

 

It’s their fault really, because they come to expect that it will never happen, but then comes the dreadful day when Bella learns how to challenge them. 

 

At first it’s kind of cute, the way Bella says “no” is particularly adorable, and especially how she smiles after. It’s a smile that reminds Lexa so much of Clarke. 

 

But the word ‘no’ gets old pretty fast when Bella starts saying it to the most simple and necessary things. 

 

“Come on Bella, eat your lunch,” Lexa says. 

 

“No!” Bella giggles. 

 

“Bella listen to Lexa,” Clarke tries next. 

 

“No.” 

 

“You were hungry literally five minutes ago.” 

 

As if on cue there are little grumbles from Bella’s stomach, and Lexa sends Clarke a look as if to ask ‘what is going on with this kid?’.

 

Lexa tries for another five minutes, even handing Bella pieces of pasta, but more often than not they end back on the plate or on the floor. Finally, Lexa takes Bella’s plate, pretending to eat it herself. 

 

“Well looks like I’ll eat this then, if you don’t want it. Nom, nom, nom,” Lexa says as she loudly pretends to eat. 

 

“Nooo!” Bella wails, she looks to Clarke, “Mama, ‘Exa take.” 

 

“Yeah baby,” Clarke says as she takes the plate from Lexa, “You want lunch now?” Bella nods. 

 

Clarke places the plate back on the table of Bella’s high chair. Bella immediately picks up a piece of pasta and chomps down on it. “Nom nom,” she says, copying Lexa and it makes both women smile. 

 

.

 

The time has come for Bella’s first flu shots and honestly, Lexa is not looking forward to it. Because she hates seeing Bella in pain, even though she knows that it’s good for her. 

 

They are sat in the paediatricians waiting room. Lexa looks down at Bella who’s playing on the floor with some building blocks, while she and Clarke sit on the chairs waiting for Bella’s name to be called. 

 

“God, I hate the doctors,” Lexa says quietly. 

 

Clarke places a hand on Lexa’s thigh, “Good thing we’re here for Bella then and not you,” Clarke teases. 

 

“You’re supposed to be supportive Clarke,” Lexa laughs. 

 

“I am!” Clarke grins. “But also this is literally one of the most brightly decorated places I’ve ever been to,” she adds.

 

Lexa glances around the room at the vibrant yellow walls with dinosaurs painted on them, the colourful educative posters, and the toys and books provided for the kids. 

 

Ok, Clarke may have a point. 

 

But still Lexa jokes, “It’s a trick Clarke, you don’t know what kind of evil experiments are going on behind closed doors.” 

 

Clarke just arches an eyebrow and glances over Lexa’s shoulder. Lexa turns to see what Clarke is looking at and is met with a little boy looking up at her with wide eyes and a glaring mother. 

 

“Oh no, I was just-“ and then the little boy starts to cry, “joking…” 

 

“Thanks for that,” the mother says as she lifts the boy onto her lap. 

 

“Mason Whittle,” a voice calls over the speaker. 

 

The woman stands up and the boy, Mason, Lexa now knows, begins to cry even more as she carries him out the waiting room and into the hallway where all the doctors rooms are. 

 

For a second there is a moment of silence, then Clarke bursts out into giggles. 

 

“I think that mom wanted to kill you,” she says. 

 

Lexa rubs the back of her neck, “Yeah, probably. I think I would have as well to be hone-“ she’s interrupted by Bella coming up to her. 

 

Bella takes Lexa’s hand and turns it over so that her palm is facing up, then places a toy car in it, looking up at her hopefully. 

 

“Looks like you’re being summoned,” Clarke says. 

 

Lexa is about to stand up to play with Bella when the voice over the speaker calls Bella’s name. 

 

“Sorry Bel, we’ll have to play later,” Lexa apologises. 

 

Clarke stands up and takes Bella’s hand as Lexa takes the other. They swing her between them as they make their way into the hallway. There are six doors, only one of them open, a doctor standing by it, and Lexa assumes that’s who they’re suppose to be seeing.

 

“Hi, please come in,” the doctor says. 

 

They are ushered into the room, which is just as colourful as the waiting room. Except this time there is an examination bed and a desk as well. 

 

“I’m Dr Nathan Miller,” the doctor says to all of them, before crouching down in front of Bella so they are at similar levels, “And you must be Bella.” 

 

Surprisingly, Bella steps behind Clarke’s legs, half hiding. “She isn’t normally this shy,” Clarke says. 

 

Dr Miller stands again, “That’s quite alright, she’s in a new place, it’s completely understandable,” he extends his hand and Clarke takes it, “You’re Clarke,” he says, though it comes out more as a question. 

 

“I am, nice to meet you.” 

 

He shakes Lexa’s hand next, “And I’m Lexa.”

 

“And you’re Bella’s other mother?” He asks. 

 

“Uh, no,” Lexa responds with a shake of her head. 

 

“She’s my girlfriend,” Clarke supplies. 

 

“My apologises,” he says, “Now, shall we get down to business?” 

 

 

Other than Bella’s initial shyness, she behaves really well for her first flu shots. Lexa is the one who places Bella on the examination bed, and Clarke is the one who sits next to her to hold her hand during the whole thing. 

 

Bella doesn’t cry during the injection but as soon as the needle is out, the water works turn on, and Lexa thinks it’s probably because she doesn’t really know what’s happening. 

 

Clarke holds her close while Dr Miller tells Lexa a list of symptoms that they should look out for on the rare occasion that Bella reacts badly to the injection. 

 

Soon they are leaving the paediatricians, a no longer crying Bella in Lexa’s arms, as they head to the car. There is a little sunshine sticker on Bella’s t-shirt that Dr Miller gave her and she is wearing it proudly. 

 

“How about some ice-cream?” Clarke suggests and Lexa and Clarke laugh when Bella’s eyes light up. “Ice cream it is.” 

 

.

 

The first time it happens it’s late into the evening and Clarke and Lexa are on the sofa, Clarke draped across Lexa as they share a few lazy kisses. There’s some kind of documentary playing on the television and Bella was put to bed over an hour ago, so Clarke and Lexa were basking in this little bit of alone time. 

 

They are so caught up in each other that they don’t hear a door creak open or the light patter of footsteps. 

 

They only notice Bella’s arrival when she mumbles a sleepy, “‘Exa,” causing Clarke to fling herself off of Lexa and onto the floor. 

 

She lands with a loud thud and rubs her shoulder where she landed on it. Luckily, it looks like Bella hasn’t noticed the position they were just in, her eyes only half open. 

 

Lexa helps Clarke back onto the sofa, before going over to Bella and scooping her up, “How did you get up?” 

 

Bella doesn’t answer, she just nuzzles her face into Lexa’s chest and promptly falls asleep again. 

 

“She must have climbed out,” Clarke says. “Good thing she didn’t hurt herself.” 

 

“She must have more grace than her mother,” Lexa teases and Clarke glares at her. “What do you think we should do?” She asks, worried that next time Bella might injure herself in some way. 

 

Clarke shrugs, “Nothing yet, I don’t think. It probably won’t happen again.” 

 

.

 

Clarke eats her words over the next few weeks. Because Bella begins to climb out of her crib more nights than not. She seems to be a good climber, because she never hurts herself, but it still makes Lexa anxious at the thought of Bella falling one day. 

 

Lexa is laying in bed with Clarke’s head on her stomach. She idly runs her fingers through blonde locks as she stares up at the ceiling. 

 

“I think it’s time to get Bella a bed,” Lexa says. 

 

“Yeah, I’ve been thinking the same thing,” Clarke agrees. 

 

“I’m so worried that she’s going to fall from the top of the railing. If she’s going to get out, it might as well be safer, right?” 

 

“Definitely. But doesn’t it seem early?” 

 

Lexa has to agree with that too, Bella is only two and a half years old, and she read in one of the many baby books in their apartment, that most toddlers aren’t ready to change to a bed until they are at least 3 years old. 

 

“Maybe, but all kids are different,” Lexa says. “We could get the bed but keep the crib for a little while as a trial period. In half a year she’ll be three anyway, so if she ends up wanting to go back to the crib, we can do that.” 

 

“I’m sure my mom and dad will let us store the bed at theirs if it all goes south.” 

 

“Yeah, we really don’t have the space for an entire bed around here,” Lexa agrees. 

 

.

 

They go to Ikea the next day to look for beds. Lexa has Bella on her shoulders as they wander around the store looking at things they don’t need. Eventually it is Clarke who drags Lexa and Bellato the bed section and away from trying out different sofas. 

 

“Clarke that one was so comfy, why didn’t you try it,” Lexa whines as she is led away. 

 

“Because we have a perfectly good sofa at home, and we’re here for a bed.” 

 

“Try mama,” Bella says. 

 

“See your daughter wants you to try it too,” Lexa states triumphantly. 

 

Clarke rolls her eyes, “When we’re in Ikea, she’s your daughter.” 

 

Lexa just grins.

 

It doesn’t take them long to find a simple toddler bed that Bella seems to like. It has a wooden frame, painted white, with sides that still go up slightly on the side, with openings at the end of the bed so that Bella can get out more easily. 

 

Soon they are sat on the floor of Bella’s bedroom, Bella in her travel crib so she doesn’t pick up a screw and swallow one. 

 

“Lexa just use the instructions.” 

 

“Instructions are for the weak,” Lexa states as she tries to put two pieces of wood together. 

 

“That doesn’t go there,” Clarke says as she gazes down at the instructions. 

 

Lexa sends Clarke a pointed look. “Thanks for that.” 

 

“The instructions are here for a reason.” 

 

Clarke dangles the piece of paper in front of her, Lexa ignores it and arches an eyebrow at her. 

 

“I’m a lesbian Clarke, I have to live up to my stereotype.” 

 

Clarke snorts at Lexa’s serious expression, laughing until Lexa’s facade cracks. The brunette grins and Clarke crouches down so she can press a chaste kiss to her lips. 

 

“Use the instructions Lex.” 

 

Lexa pecks Clarke’s lips again, then she lets out a dramatic sigh, “Fine. For Bella.” 

 

.

 

It’s strange how fast time flies by, and a part of Lexa wishes that everything would just slow down for a second. The other part of her wouldn’t change anything for a second because really, her life is kind of perfect. 

 

Slowly, Lexa is moving up in her architecture firm getting more and more assignments and being given more responsibility. Clarke was doing the same at the museum, and had recently gotten a promotion.

 

And Lexa isn’t sure how it happens, but soon Bella is old enough to start kindergarten. She has grown so much over the last few years, somehow looking so different but completely the same. And one thing’s for sure, she looks more like Clarke as each day passes. 

 

Lexa sits on the floor in front of the coffee table doing some work as Clarke walks out from the kitchen and places a cup of tea down for her. 

 

“Here you go, love,” Clarke says. 

 

“Thank you.” Clarke pecks Lexa’s lips before taking a seat on the sofa behind Lexa. 

 

“When’s Raven getting here with Bella?” Lexa asks. 

 

“She should be here soon, you know Raven, she always spoils Bella when she picks her up from kindergarten. They’re probably eating a shit ton of junk food right now.”

 

“Why do we let Raven pick her up again?” Lexa jokes. 

 

Clarke leans down and presses gentle kisses against Lexa’s neck and jaw. “So we can have an hour alone.” 

 

Lexa hums happily, “Oh yeah, remind me to send her a gift basket.” 

 

Clarke snorts with laughter, but quickly stops when Lexa turns her head so she can kiss Clarke properly. 

 

“Have I told you how much I love you today?” Lexa murmurs. 

 

“You have,” Clarke replies. “But I wouldn’t mind hearing it again.” 

 

“I love you Clarke, I am so lucky that you’re in my life.” 

 

“I love you too.”

 

Lexa stands up, her work forgotten. She sits next to Clarke on the sofa and kisses her again, before gently pushing her until they’re laying on the sofa. Clarke’s hands are tangled in Lexa’s hair, as Lexa’s are just snaking under Clarke’s shirt when there is a loud knock on the door. 

 

Lexa tears her lips away from Clarke’s, burying her face in her girlfriends neck as she groans, “Hmmm.”

 

“That must be Raven,” Clare sighs.

 

“Woods! Griffin!” Raven shouts from the other side of the door. “Open up!” 

 

“I’ll go,” Lexa says before climbing off of Clarke and heading to the door. 

 

She swings it open and finds Bella and Raven standing side by side, Raven holding Bella’s hand. Raven wears a smirk on her lips as she takes in Lexa’s tousled hair. 

 

“Are we interrupting?” She asks. 

 

“Not at all,” Lexa lies. 

 

Bella wiggles her hand out of Raven’s and raises both arms up towards Lexa, so Lexa reaches down and scoops the little girl up into her arms. 

 

“Hi sweetie,” Lexa says to Bella, then looks back to Raven. “Thanks for getting her.”

 

“No problem, hanging out with Bella is like my favourite thing to do,” Raven says, she holds her fist out to Bella who bumps it with her own. 

 

“You coming in?” Lexa asks. 

 

“Nah I can’t, gotta meet up with Anya.” 

 

They say their goodbyes, Raven shouting into the apartment to say goodbye to Clarke as well, before she makes her leave. Lexa places Bella down once the door is shut behind them. 

 

“No Raven?” Clarke asks, from the sofa. 

 

“Not today, she said she’s meeting Anya.”

 

Bella runs over to her mother and jumps up on the sofa with her, crawling into her lap. Lexa smiles as Bella holds Clarke’s cheeks in her small hands and kisses Clarke on the lips. 

 

“So baby, how was school?” 

 

.

 

Making dinner is an event to say the least. For over a year now Bella has always insisted on helping cook dinner. It started after Bella curiously asked to watch Clarke prepare their food one night, when she is normally colouring or watching TV. Of course Clarke said yes, and it just continued on from there. Now Clarke and Lexa aren’t allowed to start cooking unless Bella is there wearing the apron that Lincoln bought her as a surprise present. 

 

Tonight they’re making spaghetti bolognese because they happened to have all the ingredients in the apartment. Clarke and Lexa do most of the cooking, letting Bella toss in a few ingredients into the pot and stir once the the bolognese is simmering. Lexa stands close behind her, making sure she doesn’t burn herself on the pot. 

 

Soon enough they’re sitting down at the dinner table, Clarke helping Bella serve up the food. 

 

They are just finishing their meal when Bella says something that makes Lexa choke on her last bite of spaghetti. 

 

“Um what?” Lexa splutters. 

 

“Why am I not allowed to call you mom?” Bella asks again. 

 

“What makes you ask that sweetie?” Clarke asks gently. 

 

Bella shrugs, “We learned about family today.” 

 

Lexa meets Clarke’s gaze for a second before she looks to Bella. “Bels you can call me anything you want.” 

 

Bella nods, then gets a look on her face like she’s thinking really hard. “How come I call you Lexa?” 

 

“Um… well that’s my name,” Lexa replies, unsure what else to say. 

 

“But no one else calls their moms their name,” Bella points out and Lexa’s eyes widen slightly. 

 

“You think of me as your mom?” 

 

“You are my mom,” Bella states as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. 

 

Lexa has to stop herself from tearing up and when she looks to Clarke she can see her struggling as well. 

 

“Then if you want, you can call me mom,” Lexa says, her voice shaking slightly. 

 

“Really?”

 

“Of course.”

 

A look of concentration passes over Bella’s face before she says, “I think you’ll be ma. Mom is mom, you can be ma.” 

 

“That sounds perfect sweetie.”

 

Then Bella is turning towards Clarke and asks, “Can I have TV time?”, completely oblivious to the impact of her words. 

 

“Of course baby, but only for one show,” Clarke tells her. 

 

Bella jumps down from the chair and runs out the kitchen leaving a teary Lexa and Clarke behind. Lexa is still in some kind of shocked state when Bella disappears from sight. 

 

“Bella thinks of me as her mom,” Lexa says, as Clarke moves her chair next to Lexa and sits down. 

 

“Of course she does,” Clarke says, “You’ve been there for her literally since the moment she was born.”

 

“Are you ok with this?” Lexa asks. 

 

“Lexa, I’ve always thought of you as Bella’s mom. No one else can really compare. To be honest, you seemed ok with how everything was, and I didn’t know how to bring it up without you feeling pressured.”

 

Lexa smiles gently at Clarke, “There’s no pressure Clarke. I love Bella. You and her are my family.”

 

.

 

In some ways it takes Lexa a while to get used to her new title, it surprises her every time in the best way possible. But on the other hand it feels as if it was always meant to be. 

 

Bella doesn’t always call her mom, sometimes she slips back to Lexa, but it never bothers her. Lexa doesn’t mind what Bella calls her as long as she’s comfortable and Lexa is content with the knowledge that Bella views her as her mother. 

 

.

 

Bella is in first grade the first time she gets into a fight at school. Lexa gets a call from Clarke that she's heading to the school to see what’s wrong. Lexa tells her that she’ll come too but Clarke assures her that she can handle it. Reluctantly Lexa agrees, but when she gets a text half an hour later from Clarke saying that she’s taking Bella home, Lexa doesn’t think twice about grabbing her bag and telling her boss she’s heading home for a family emergency. 

 

When she arrives back at the apartment, she see’s Clarke and Bella’s shoes by the front door, and she knows they’re both already home. 

 

“Clarke? Bella?” Lexa calls out. 

 

“Kitchen!” She hears Clarke reply. 

 

Lexa kicks off her shoes and drops her bag by the door before heading into the kitchen. She finds Clarke cutting up an apple, most likely for Bella, and a red eyed five year old sitting at the table. 

 

Not even a second later Lexa is striding over to Bella, crouching down next to her. The young girl wraps her arms around her neck and buries her face into Lexa’s chest. 

 

“I thought I said you didn’t have to come home,” Clarke says, though Lexa can hear the relief in her voice. 

 

“You really think I was going to listen?” Lexa says with a small smile. 

 

“Not really.”

 

Lexa manoeuvres out of Bella’s grip and tells her she’ll only be a second before going over to Clarke. She lowers her voice as she asks, “Has she told you what’s wrong?” And Clarke shakes her head.

 

“Not a thing.”

 

Lexa goes back to Bella and shifts her into her arms. “Hi sweetie. What happened?” 

 

Bella sniffs, “Nothing,” she mumbles. 

 

“Baby we can’t help you if you don’t tell us.” 

 

“But you’ll be sad.”

 

Clarke and Lexa share a worried look over Bella’s head, before Clarke sits down in the chair next to them.

 

“Why would we be sad Bel?” 

 

Bella is silent for another few seconds before she finally speaks up. “Timothy said something mean about you and ma.” 

 

“Oh,” Lexa says in understanding. 

 

“He said that I should have a dad, not two moms. Is he right?” 

 

“No Bella.” Clarke assures quickly. “Not all family look the same. Some have a mom and a dad. Some have two moms or two dads. Or maybe no mom or no dad at all. But there’s nothing wrong with any of those families.”

 

“As long as you’re happy Bella, that’s all that matters.” 

 

“I am!” Bella insists immediately and Lexa smiles, caressing Bella’s cheek with her fingers. 

 

“Then we’re good ok? Timothy is wrong.” 

 

“But you can’t fight,” Clarke adds. “When we don’t agree with something someone says we talk about it.” 

 

“I know,” Bella says looking down. “He made me angry and I’m sorry.” 

 

“No, don’t be sorry for being angry. He shouldn’t have said what he did. But next time, try and talk to him first and if that doesn’t work, come to us or your teacher.” 

 

Bella nods. “Can I eat my apple on the sofa?” 

 

“Of course.” 

 

Clarke gives Bella her apple slices in a plastic bowl, and she scampers off to the living room, leaving her moms in the kitchen by themselves. 

 

Lexa stands, stretching her arms over her head. When she lowers them again, almost immediately, she feels Clarke’s hand on hers, pulling her until Lexa is sat on her lap. Lexa drapes her arms over Clarke’s shoulders and presses a kiss to her temple. 

 

“Do you think we handled that well?” Clarke asks. 

 

“I hope so.” 

 

“I can’t believe kids these days are still saying things like that.” 

 

“The world is fucked up Clarke, we know that,” Lexa states. 

 

“I know. I wish it wasn’t,” she sighs. 

 

Clarke tells her that she’ll check on Bella in a little bit. Then Clarke’s lips are on hers in a chaste kiss.

 

“So we’re both home early,” the blonde states. “Anything you want to do?” She asks. 

 

Lexa purses her lips for a second before quirking an eyebrow, a bashful smile on her lips.

 

“You want to finish that nature documentary, don’t you,” Clarke guesses. 

 

Lexa grins, “Maybe.” 

 

Clarke rolls her eyes, but Lexa can see her holding back a smile. “Come on then nerd. I’m sure Bella will join us when she’s ready.”

 

.

 

And Bella does. Twenty minutes later to be exact. Lexa and Clarke are laying on their bed snuggled up next to each other when Bella appears at the door. Wordlessly, she climbs up on the bed, crawls around the laptop at the foot of the bed, and squeezes her way in between her two moms. 

 

.

 

It’s a cool day, perhaps slightly too cool to be at the beach. Yet here they all are, acting like it's mid summer. Lexa sits on a orange and yellow towel, her feet just off the edge, her toes buried in the sand. 

 

A blanket of cloud covers the sky, but Lexa still wears a pair of sunglasses, perched on her nose. She wears a simple black bikini with a unbuttoned large shirt on top. 

 

She watches as Bella and Lincoln build a sandcastle a few feet away. Raven and Bellamy are cooking burgers on some of those crappy throw away barbecues, and Anya, Octavia, Monty and Jasper are caught up in an intense game of beach volleyball. 

 

Lexa’s gaze turns to Clarke, who she notices coming out of the water. Despite the temperature, Clarke insisted that she was going to swim in the ocean today, and Lexa isn’t surprised that the blonde kept her word. 

 

Not that Lexa minded, in fact the sight of her beautiful girlfriend was a gift. Not to mention the fact that she looked like she was a character in Baywatch in her red one piece, in Lexa’s opinion anyway. 

 

As Clarke nears, Lexa sees a grin appear on her lips. “You checking me out, Woods?” Clarke asks. 

 

Lexa chuckles, “Always.”

 

Clarke picks up a towel and wipes her face and body dry before wrapping the towel around her shoulders. She gestures for Lexa to scoot over on the towel, and so Lexa does, making room for her girlfriend. 

 

Clarke pecks Lexa’s shoulder, and the action makes Lexa smile. 

 

“You’re going to get ill.”

 

“I-“

 

“Never get ill, I know,” Lexa finishes for her and Clarke rolls her eyes. 

 

“It’s true.”

 

“Of course sweetheart,” Lexa says sarcastically. She laughs when Clarke nudges her shoulder. 

 

“Clarke and Lexa are having a domestic!” Raven teases, from where she sits in front of the barbecue. 

 

“We are not,” Clarke replies. 

 

“Mommy, what’s a domesic?” Bella asks as she walks over to her moms. 

 

Clarke glares at Raven who shrugs her shoulders, looking mildly apologetic. Lexa pulls Bella to sit in her lap, wrapping her arms around the little girl. 

 

“Domestic,” Lexa corrects absentmindedly, “And it means an argument, Bel,” Lexa explains. 

 

Bella turns in Lexa’s lap to look at her moms, “You’re fighting?” She asks, worry in her voice. 

 

“Look what you did Raven,” Clarke scolds, though not entirely serious. “We aren’t fighting, don’t worry. Aunty Raven was making a joke.” 

 

“Oh. Good,” Bella says, relief in her voice. 

 

“If you go to Uncle Bellamy, he might give you a burger if they’re done.” 

 

“They are,” Bellamy calls. 

 

Bella hops up and bounds over to Bellamy, who scoops her up into his arms. Raven jogs the short distance over to them. 

 

“Sorry about that,” she says. 

 

“It’s ok,” Clarke assures, “She’s gotta learn about sarcasm and joking from somewhere and we know she won’t from this one,” she says, poking Lexa’s arm. 

 

Lexa gasps, “How did this become about offending me?” she asks. 

 

“See,” Clarke jokes. “I’m just teasing you.” 

 

Lexa sticks her tongue out at Clarke, who just kisses her cheek in response. 

 

“Gross guys,” Raven jokes. “Also, I was supposed to tell you that the foods ready. I’m gonna go tell the others.” 

 

Raven jumps up, heading over to tell the others the same. Lexa gets up, stretching her arms over her head. She gazes down at Clarke. Her face was void of any make up, her hair has begun to dry in wild beachy waves, blowing back ever so slightly in the ocean breeze. And Lexa thinks, she's never looked so beautiful. Clarke looks up and catches her gaze. 

 

“What’s that look for?” Clarke asks. 

 

Lexa shrugs, “I just love you.” 

 

“I love you too.” 

 

Lexa holds her hand out for Clarke to take, and she does, before she pulls her to her feet. 

 

After lunch Clarke and Lexa joined in in a game of ultimate frisbee. Clarke isn’t very good, but Lexa is a natural, as she is at most things. But soon, like all good things, their day at the beach comes to an end.

 

As everyone starts packing up, Lexa’s phone begins to ring from where it sits on a towel. Clarke, being the closest,picks it up and glances at the screen. 

 

“It’s my mom. Why is she calling you and not me?” Clarke asks. 

 

Lexa just shrugs as Clarke answers the call, putting it on speaker. 

 

“Mom?” Clarke says. 

 

“Clarke?” Abby asks. 

 

“Why are you calling Lexa and not me.” 

 

“I did call you, twice in fact. Is there a reason you can answer Lexa’s phone but not your own?” Raven and Lexa snicker together as Clarke glares at them. 

 

“You left your phone in the car,” Lexa supplies after a moment. 

 

“Hi Lexa,” Abby says. 

 

Lexa says hello back, and they chat for a couple minutes, before Clarke asks, “So is there a reason you called mom?” 

 

“Your father’s birthday is coming up in a week, and I was wondering if you two will be able to make it to the dinner I’m planning,” Abby tells them. “Luckily it falls on a Saturday this year.”

 

“Of course we will be,” Lexa replies. 

 

“Fantastic.” 

 

Raven leans towards the phone, “Hi Mrs G, can I come?” She asks. 

 

“Raven! You can’t just invite yourself to someone else’s birthday,” Anya says as she walks up to them. 

 

Abby laughs on the other end of the line. “Yes you can Raven,” she says to Raven’s surprise. 

 

“Wait really?” 

 

“Yes really. Clarke, all of your friends are invited as well, you know how much your father likes spending time with them. He says it makes him feel younger.” 

 

“Yes! Party at the Griffins’!” Raven celebrates. 

 

“It’s going to be a formal drinks and canapés type party, so I hope you all dress appropriately. Raven that includes you.” 

 

“You got it,” Raven replies.

 

“Thanks for the invite, Abby,” Anya adds. 

 

“You’re welcome, see you all there. Clarke I have to go now, bye Lexa. Kiss Bella for me.”

 

Everyone choruses their goodbyes, before Clarke hangs up, handing Lexa’s phone back to her. The blonde sends Raven a look. Raven smirks.

 

“Your mom loves me.” 

 

.

 

Jake’s birthday is a special occasion. The whole house, inside and out is decorated beautifully. Lots of people dressed in their best are talking and laughing all throughout the house. Lexa can tell that it’s really Abby who wants the big celebration, but Jake plays along perfectly. 

 

Lexa and Clarke found a sitter for the night, meaning Bella isn’t with them, and so Lexa feels slightly less guilty when she heads to the drinks table to get her third glass of white wine. 

 

Out of the corner of her eye she sees Jake, sighing with something similar to relief, before taking a seat as a few people leave him. Lexa pours a glass of red, then heads over to the man. 

 

“You look like you need this,” Lexa states, holding the glass out.

 

Jake smiles up at her, taking it and drinking. “You know me well Lexa,” he says. “Come on, take a seat.” 

 

Lexa does, joining Jake on the sofa. 

 

“How are you enjoying the party?” Lexa asks as she sips her wine. 

 

“Abby’s done a great job, don’t you think?”

 

“That doesn’t really answer the question,” Lexa teases and Jake belts out a laugh. 

 

“You got me there. I’m having a great time thank you,” he finally answers, then he leans closer to Lexa, “But if I’m be honest with you, I could do with a few less of the in laws,” he says, though Lexa can tell he’s joking.

 

“Is that who you were just talking too?” Lexa asks. 

 

“Yep, Abby’s aunt and uncle. They’re good people, but dry as a sack of flour,” Jake laughs. “Linda and Micheal. Those are their names. You better start getting good at remembering names if you’re gonna be joining this family for good.” 

 

That makes Lexa pause. Because even though she knows without a doubt that she wants to spend the rest of her life with Clarke, she’s never taken a moment to realise what that really means. It means she would have a family. A huge loving family. One filled with boring aunts and uncles, and Christmas dinners, and family jokes. 

 

And it sounds amazing. 

 

“Lexa, you ok there?” Jake asks, breaking Lexa out of her own thoughts. 

 

“Yeah, sorry.” 

 

“You and Clarke haven’t had that talk yet?” Jake asks and Lexa shakes her head. 

 

“No, but I don’t think we need to,” she says surely. 

 

Lexa catches Clarke’s eye across the room. The blonde stops her conversation mid sentence to wave at her and smile, and it makes a warm feeling spread through Lexa’s chest. 

 

“No,” Jake agrees, “I don’t think you do.” 

 

.

 

Lexa vividly remembers days in college when she and and Clarke would stay up late in their little living room after hours of studying together. She still remembers how much she wanted to be with Clarke then, and it brings a smile to her lips to think of where they are now. 

 

It’s their four year anniversary. Four years since Lexa was shoved in a taxi by Octavia and driven to Clarke on her date. Four years since she confessed her feelings, and their lives changed forever. 

 

As quietly as she can, Lexa climbs out of bed, making her way into the kitchen where she begins to pull supplies together. She whips up some breakfast, waffles with berries and coffee just how Clarke likes it. 

 

She drops the frying pan when she’s cleaning up, but knows that Clarke is a heavy enough sleeper that it wouldn’t wake her. Bella is with Clarke’s parents so Lexa didn’t have to worry about it waking her either. 

 

She puts it all on a tray before carrying it towards their bedroom. As she enters the room, she sees that Clarke hasn’t moved at all, and she almost feels bad for disturbing the blondes sleep. Lexa places the tray on the night stand, then gently shakes Clarke’s shoulder. 

 

“Clarke,” Lexa says, “Wake up sweetie.” 

 

“Hm?” Clarke mumbles, still bleary from sleep. “Morning.”

 

Lexa kisses Clarke and the blonde sighs happily. 

 

“Happy anniversary.”

 

“Happy anniversary,” Lexa echoes. “I made you breakfast.” 

 

Clarke perks up at that, only just noticing the tray on her bedside table. “I love you.”

 

Lexa chuckles, “I love you too.”

 

Lexa places the tray on Clarke’s lap, then joins her back in the bed. They dig into the breakfast, taking turns having bites, and really it’s the perfect start to the day. Once they’re done, Lexa puts the tray on the floor, then cuddles back into Clarke, not quite ready to get up yet. 

 

Clarke nestles her face into Lexa’s neck. “I can’t believe I’ve been so lucky to have four years of this with you,” Clarke says. 

 

“I know,” Lexa agrees. “And we have the rest of our lives as well.” 

 

“The rest of our lives,” Clarke repeats, “I really like the sound of that.” 

 

Lexa moves away from Clarke slightly, so she can look into her eyes. “Marry me Clarke Griffin,” she says, her voice so soft and full of affection. 

 

Lexa doesn’t mean to propose like this, hell she doesn’t even have a ring, but for some reason it feels so right. Especially when Clarke brings their lips together in a passionate and breathtaking kiss, murmuring, “Of course I’ll marry you.” 

 

.

 

Later when they had finished their latest round of ‘I just got engaged’ sex, it suddenly dawns on Lexa what she really just did.

 

“Crap,” Lexa swears to herself. 

 

“What? Regretting asking me already?” Clarke jokes. 

 

“It’s just whenever I imagined proposing to you, I thought it would be this huge grand gesture that I thought out for months,” she says sadly. 

 

“Well I loved it,” Clarke tells her. 

 

“You did?” 

 

“Of course, because really all I care about is marrying you, I don’t care how you ask me.”

 

“I love you.” 

 

Clarke leans up to peck Lexa’s lips. “Besides, we never have done things normally, have we.” 

 

. 

 

Abby cries when she is told about the engagement. Jake pulls them both into a hug and tells Lexa how happy he is that she is finally going to be an official member of the family. Their friends are over joyed for them as well. Though they were annoyed that it wasn’t even hinted at that marriage was on the table for them. But it’s Bella’s reaction that is Lexa’s favourite. 

 

She doesn’t think she’s ever seen the little girl smile so much, and she even asks Lexa if that means her name gets to be Griffin-Woods now. 

 

Lexa has to fight back tears as she answers, “If you want it to be then of course.” 

 

“I do!” Bella exclaims. 

 

“Bella, your mom and I were talking,” Lexa says, she looks to Clarke for support who just smiles and takes hold of Lexa’s hand. “And I would really like to officially adopt you as well.” 

 

“Adopt?” Bella says, looking at her mom. 

 

“It means that legally, Lexa would be your mom.” 

 

“But she is my mom.” 

 

“I know sweetie,” Clarke says, “But other people will know as well.” 

 

“So it’s like you’ll be even more my mom?” Bella asks and Lexa nods. 

 

“Basically yeah.”

 

“Then adopt me! Please!” Bella pleads. 

 

Lexa smiles, she looks to Clarke. “I think that’s a yes.” 

 

.

 

They end up getting their rings together, with Bella by their side. They spend a long while wandering around the shop, until Bella points out two rings on display. Of course they would never choose rings just because Bella likes, them but their girl must have some sort of knack for this kind of thing and she ends up point out rings that are absolutely perfect. 

 

They aren’t the right size, but when the three of them pick the rings up a week later, Clarke and Lexa wear them out of the shop, Bella wearing what Lexa would only be able describe as a smug smile. 

 

.

 

It’s late one evening; Bella has been put to bed, and Clarke and Lexa are deep in wedding planning. 

 

The date has been set, and they now have six months to get everything put together before their big day.

 

Clarke and Lexa are sitting at the kitchen table, brochures and planning documents spread out across the table. They hadn’t wanted the wedding to be a big thing, just a small occasion with close friends and family. Lexa thought it would be easy, having no family of her own, but Clarke’s family is huge and with Abby in the wings , the wedding was getting bigger and bigger by the day. 

 

“Hey Lex?” 

 

“Hm?” Lexa says. 

 

She doesn’t look up from the seating plan, the one that keeps changing as more and more people are added to the list. 

 

“Lexa I need to talk to you about something.” 

 

The seriousness in Clarke’s voice tears Lexa’s attention away from her task at hand. “Clarke?” 

 

“I wanted to wait until after the wedding to bring this up, but I don’t think I can wait that long.” 

 

“Is everything ok?” Lexa asks, worry in her voice. 

 

Clarke bites her lip, pauses for a moment, before blurting, “I want to quit my job.” 

 

Lexa’s eyebrows raise slightly in surprise. Now that she had not been expecting.

 

“You’re not happy at the museum?” Lexa asks. 

 

“You know I never wanted to work at a museum. I think… I think I want to start painting again.”

 

“Clarke you know I’ll support you in anything you want to do,” Lexa says, “And if you want to start pursuing art again, I believe in you. You’re so talented, I know the world is going to love everything you make.” 

 

“You don’t think it’s crazy?” Clarke asks. “We have a kid to look after…” 

 

“If this is something you want, we can work it out,” Lexa promises. 

 

They decide to leave the wedding planning for tomorrow, instead they open a bottle of wine and settle in the living room. They talk for hours, discussing their future. It surprises Lexa that they hadn’t done this before, not in a long while anyway. 

 

In the end, they realise it probably isn’t smart for Clarke to quit her job just yet, before her art career takes off. It doesn’t make sense when they have Bella to look after. But Clarke will start painting again, perhaps looking for a job in a gallery instead of the museum. And with Bella getting older it meant that they had more freedom to do things that they couldn’t have when she was younger. 

 

They finally head to bed around one in the morning, and Lexa kisses Clarke’s temple as they settle under the covers. 

 

Lexa thinks Clarke is asleep, but then she hears Clarke ask quietly, “Do you really think I can do this?”

 

“I think you can do anything, Clarke.” 

 

.

 

Six months pass quickly, and they are some of the most stressful and wonderful months of Lexa’s life. 

 

There have been so many things going on with all the planning, from choosing centre piece and locations, organising the seating, the food, and wedding dress shopping. And that was on top of a Lexa’s regular work at the architectural firm. 

 

But despite the stress, Lexa finds that it does bring them closer as a family, if that were possible. They spend endless hours together, and even though it is to plan, they still manage to make it fun. Bella especially enjoying the cake tasting day, where they went to the shop and got to try all of the different flavours (of course Raven and Anya managed to sneak along as well). 

 

Now Lexa is stood in front of a mirror. She is dressed in her wedding dress, her hair and make up done perfectly, pulled back into lose and intricate braids. And really, she can’t believe the day is finally here. 

 

They chose to have a beach wedding (cheesy, they know), and so they booked out a nice hotel in TonDC, a quiet beach town that Clarke used to visit as a child. Lexa had never been one of those children that planned out her wedding, unlike Clarke who was the exact opposite. Her fiancée had always dreamed of a beach wedding, and who was Lexa to deny the love of her life that. 

 

The hotel room door opens then, and Lexa thinks it’s Octavia coming to check on her, but to her surprise Abby walks through the door. 

 

“You look beautiful Lexa,” is the first thing Abby says and it makes her smile. 

 

“Thank you. I’d hope so after the hours I had to sit and have this done,” she jokes as she gestures at herself. 

 

“Are you nervous?” Abby asks. 

 

Lexa shakes her head with a smile, “Not at all. I don’t think I’ve ever felt more ready for something in my life.” 

 

And it’s true, if anything, Lexa is getting antsy, just wanting it to be the time of the service already. 

 

“Clarke said the same thing.” 

 

“She did?” Lexa asks, happiness filling her chest. 

 

“Of course,” Abby laughs. “Now, I actually wanted to come in here to ask you something.” 

 

“Anything.”

 

“I was talking to Jake… We know you don’t like to talk about your family,” she begins and Lexa tenses up at the mention of them. 

 

She had been sixteen years old when her parents passed away. It had been a freak accident, a car drove up onto the sidewalk and crashed into them when they just sitting in a coffee shop. Though it didn’t feel like it at the time, Lexa had been lucky, she had gone back inside the cafe to get another drink when it happened. She doesn’t remember much of the events after, she thinks it was the shock, but one moment she had two loving parents and the next they were gone. 

 

For the next two years, she lived with her only living relative, her great uncle Gus, but he passed away as well just after Lexa finished high school. 

 

So Lexa, Lexa doesn't like to think about her family, not because she wants to forget them, but because it hurts too much to remember. 

 

A stiff smile appears on Lexa’s lips, “I don’t normally, no,” she says. 

 

“And I wouldn’t ask you to,” Abby assures quickly. “Clarke hasn’t said much, but she has told me that you don’t have any family left.” Lexa only nods. “But it’s your wedding day, and I know you decided to wait at the alter for Clarke, but I was hoping… I was hoping you’d let me walk you down the aisle,” Abby says, her voice filled with nerves. 

 

Lexa hasn’t felt herself fill with emotion so fast since the first time Clarke told her she loved her. And despite how much she tries, tears slip down her cheeks and she covers her mouth with her palm, trying not to let a sob break free.

 

“Oh Lexa sweetie, I didn’t mean to make you cry,” Abby says, rushing to Lexa’s side and hugging her close, tears of her own forming in her eyes. 

 

“I can’t explain to you how much this means to me,” Lexa tells her with a shaky voice. 

 

“I take that as a yes?” Abby asks, trying to make her tone light.

 

Lexa nods, still crying, “Thank you.” 

 

“Welcome to the family Lexa.” 

 

.

 

The ceremony is perfect, that’s the only way Lexa can describe it. It’s a short and sweet service, since neither of them are particularly religious. 

 

As Lexa steps down the aisle, Abby holding her elbow, Lexa wonders how this is her life.

 

She reaches the end of the aisle and Abby kisses her cheek before taking her seat. Lexa doesn’t turn around until she hears the music begin to play, signalling Clarke’s march. But when she does, everything seems to slow down, the music fades away, and all Lexa can focus on is her soon to be wife. 

 

Because Clarke is stunning. There are flowers in her hair, and her dress looks gorgeous. Bella walks in front of her mother, throwing handfuls of flowers at the floor, dressed in a bridesmaid dress that matches Clarke’s wedding dress perfectly. 

 

But really when Lexa sees her, all she can think of is how Clarke reminds her of home. And how excited she is to finally be able to call this woman her wife. 

 

.

 

 

The reception is big, bigger than Lexa would have imagined for her wedding, and it’s not until moments like this that Lexa really remembers how many wonderful people she has in her life. Of course there are some plus ones she doesn’t know but that doesn’t matter, everyone is here to have a good time and that is what counts. 

 

The party is in full swing when Lexa manages to escape outside in desperate need of a break after talking to Clarke’s large extended family for so long. She manages to snag a glass of champagne and sneak out of the reception room to a small balcony that looks over the ocean. 

 

She has a few moments of silence before she hears the door open behind her. Lexa turns to find Clarke standing there a cheeky smile and a plate of chocolate covered strawberries. 

 

“There you are,” Clarke says and Lexa sends her a guilty smile.

 

“I needed a breather,” she explains. 

 

Clarke just sidles up to Lexa and wraps her arms around her waist, pulling her close. 

 

“Well next time you decide you need a break, make sure you come grab me too.” 

 

Lexa nods solemnly, as she stares into Clarke’s eyes. 

 

“Have I told you how stunning you are?” Lexa asks. 

 

Clarke rolls her eyes, “Literally every other sentence.”

 

Lexa shrugs, a playful grin on her lips. “I can’t help it.” 

 

Clarke rolls her eyes again and so Lexa kisses her because it feels like the right thing to do and also really really wants too. 

 

When she pulls back, Clarke’s eyes are still shut, fluttering open a few seconds later. Its a sight that is so simple and beautiful and Lexa thanks whatever higher being is up there that brought them together. 

 

“I love you.”

 

“I love you too,” Clarke tells her, and it makes her heart fill with warmth and joy. “I also know how much you love these, which is why I stole a few before coming to find you,” she says holding up the small plate that Lexa forgot about. 

 

Clarke picks up a strawberry and holds it up to Lexa’s lips. Lexa leans forward and bites, she hums at the sweet and rich flavours that burst in her mouth. 

 

“Delicious,” Lexa says as Clarke takes the other half of the strawberry. “I wish we hadn’t put Bella to bed just yet, she would have loved these.” 

 

“Don’t worry, I’ve already asked if we can save her some,” Clarke tells her. 

 

They each take another strawberry, eating in silence for a few moments, just enjoying each other’s company. 

 

Lexa takes Clarke’s hand, running her thumb over the top of her hand gently, “We’re really a family now,” she says softly. 

 

“Lexa, we’ve been a family since Bella was born.” 

 

Lexa grins, “Before that,” she haggles. 

 

“Exactly.” 

 

“I do like the official title though, _wife_.” 

 

“Well my beautiful _wife_ , I think it’s about time we head inside, don’t you?” 

 

Clarke begins to head to the door, but Lexa tugs her back, bringing her hand up to Clarke’s cheek and guiding their lips together for one last kiss in their little bubble. 

 

What neither realise is that Raven is inside taking a picture of the moment, one that they print off and hang above their bed for years to come. 

 

.

 

Bella is now in third grade. It was strange for Clarke and Lexa to drop her off on her first day those months ago. She knows it's ridiculous to think that Bella would be their little girl forever but some part thought it would last a little bit longer. 

 

Clarke has also recently started a new job at an art gallery that she loves so far, under an incredibly talented artist. It’s a more time-consuming job than her one at the museum but she’s happier and that’s all that matters to Lexa. 

 

Lexa pulls up at Bella’s school, immediately spotting her girl amongst the crowds. She sees Bella notice her too, running up to the side of the car almost instantly and pulling open the back door. Lexa cuts the engine and climbs out the car and hugs the girl as she says hello before helping her into her booster seat. 

 

Soon she is waving goodbye to Bella’s teacher and getting back in the car. 

 

“How was your day?” Lexa asks as she pulls away. 

 

“It was good,” Bella replies, “Mom forgot to pack my apple. It’s ok though, I shared with Ms. Danson.” 

 

Lexa grins, “That was really nice of her. Did you say thank you?”

 

“Duh, Ma.”

 

Lexa rolls her eyes at her daughters response. “We’ll have to remind Mom when she gets home to not forget tomorrow.” 

 

“Can we have Mac and cheese for dinner?” Bella asks randomly. 

 

“I’m sure that can be arranged.”

 

.

 

Clarke is slightly late home, she doesn’t like to be but she also doesn’t want to disappoint at her relatively new job. Lexa doesn’t mind though, because it’s never too late and she always makes sure to text so Lexa doesn’t have to worry. 

 

Lexa hears the door open, but Bella is too busy mixing the pasta to notice, until she hears Clarke yell, “Honey’s I’m home!” 

 

That gets Bella to jump down from the chair she’s standing on, before she rushes out fo the kitchen. 

 

Lexa takes over for her, knowing that Clarke will come into the kitchen in less than a minute to say hello. 

 

Of course she’s right, and not a minute later she feels a pair of arms wrap around her waist. A light kiss being pressed to her shoulder. 

 

“Sorry I’m late Lex.” 

 

“Don’t be. I’m glad you love your work,” Lexa tells her honestly. 

 

“It smells good in here.” 

 

“Thank Chef Bella, she did most of the work, right Bel?” Lexa says, she looks behind her and finds Bella standing not too far away, smiling up at them. 

 

“It was 50/50,” Bella replies. 

 

“Then thank you as well Chef Lexa. I can’t wait to dig in.” 

 

Clarke pulls away then and Lexa immediately misses those arms around her, but Clarke’s hand still rests casually on her hip and really that’s enough. 

 

“Well Chef, when do you think dinner will be ready? I’m _starving_ ,” she emphasises. 

 

Bella looks behind Clarke to Lexa who mouths "five minutes” to her. 

 

“Umm five minutes Mom.”

 

Clarke of course notices the interaction but she pretends she doesn’t. 

 

 

.

 

 

Later that night Lexa lays wrapped in Clarke’s arms, her head resting on the blonde’s chest as she listens to her steady heart beat. 

 

“Can you believe she’s in third grade?” Clarke asks quietly. 

 

“You said that last night,” Lexa murmurs, half asleep.

 

“I just don’t like it.”

 

“I don’t like it either, but growing up is a part of life.”

 

“Soon she’s going to be a teenager and hate us.” 

 

“Nah, she’s a Griffin, they love their mothers,” Lexa says teasingly. 

 

“Griffin-Woods.” 

 

“Woods-Griffin,” Lexa replies, just because she knows Clarke hates it.

 

“We married as Griffin Woods,” Clarke says, her usual response. 

 

“Debatable.”

 

"Bella will argue on my behalf." 

 

"Hmm," Lexa responds because she knows Clarke is right.

 

“I hate you.”

 

Lexa grins. “I love you too.”

 

“Love you more."

 

 

.

 

 

It's Bella's first sleepover and she should be excited. But instead there is a tense look in her eyes that Lexa isn't used to seeing. 

 

Bella is going to stay over at her friend Grace’s house for the first time, and Lexa spends the Friday morning helping her pack her night bag with anything she might want or need so that she can go right over to Grace’s house after school, while Clarke prepares their breakfast.

 

“Are you sure you and mom don’t need me at home tonight?” Bella asks as she holds out her pyjama’s for Lexa to pack into her backpack. 

 

“We’ll miss you Bels but you’re going to have a lot of fun at Grace’s tonight.” 

 

Bella nods to herself, and Lexa can tell the girl is nervous for her first night away from home (that isn’t with her grandparents or one of her aunts or uncles).

 

“If you’re worried about tonight, you don’t have to go, Grace will understand,” Lexa assures, just so Bella knows. 

 

“No,” Bella responds quickly, “I want too, I just wanted to make sure you and ma would be ok.” 

 

Lexa knows that there is more to it, but she also knows that if Bella really didn’t want to go she would say. Instead she puts it down mostly to nerves. 

 

“What did you say you and Grace would be doing again?” Lexa asks, to distract her. 

 

“Oh!” Bella exclaims, her nerves momentarily forgotten. She launches into a long list of the things that Grace apparently said they were going to do that night. And while the list seemed a little bit long to be realistic to Lexa, she was glad that she had managed to make Bella forget her worries. 

 

“That sounds amazing, you’re going to have a great time,” Lexa says as they begin to head out of Bella’s

 

“Just make sure that you kiss mom goodnight for me, ok?” 

 

“You got it,” she promises. 

 

They make it a few steps down the hallway before Bella stops. 

 

“Ma?” 

 

“Yeah Bels?” 

 

“Do you think Grace will laugh at me if I bring Mr Fluffins?” She asks, almost shyly. 

 

All of Bella’s worries seem to make more sense with that one question, Bella hasn’t slept a night without Mr Fluffin’s since Bellamy got him for her on her fourth birthday, but she was also at that age where kids might make fun of someone for that. Well they used to when Lexa was a kid anyway. 

 

“No, I don’t think she will,” Lexa says honestly. “Grace is really nice, she won’t laugh at you.”

 

“That’s true,” Bella says, though she still sounds unsure. “I just don’t want him to miss me if I leave him at home.” 

 

“I know Grace won’t laugh at you if you want to bring him, but if you’re really worried, how about me and your mom look after Mr Fluffins tonight? He can sleep with us and he won’t get lonely.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Of course.”

 

“Thank you!” Bella hugs Lexa’s waist and so she wraps her arms around Bella’s shoulders. 

 

“You go put Mr Fluffins on me and your mom’s bed, so he gets used to it, ok? I’ll make sure your mom has breakfast ready.”

 

Bella runs back into her bedroom to do just that while Lexa walks the rest of the way into the kitchen, placing Bella’s night bag on one of the chairs. 

 

“Everything ok?” Clarke asks, as she places a plate of toast on the table for Bella and a bowl of muesli for Lexa. 

 

“She’s worried that Grace will laugh at her for having Mr Fluffins.” 

 

“Oh Grace doesn’t seem like the kind of girl to do that.”

 

“That’s what I said, but Bella still seemed worried so I promised her we’d look after him.” 

 

“You’re so good to her.”

 

“I am her mother Clarke.” 

 

Clarke grins pressing a kiss to Lexa’s cheek. “That you are,” Clarke replies, just as Bella comes bouncing into the kitchen. 

 

.

 

It’s mothers day, and that means Lexa has lots of plans with Bella for Clarke. What Lexa doesn’t expect is for Bella to go behind her back and plan things for both of them, but that’s exactly what happens. 

 

Lexa’s alarm is set for seven in the morning but at six thirty she finds herself being roused from sleep by a soft voice whispering "Ma". 

 

“Hmm Bel? Did I miss my alarm?” Lexa whispers as she groggily opens her eyes. 

 

Bella is grinning back at her with a cheeky look in her eyes. 

 

“Nope! Surprise!” 

 

Lexa is briefly aware of Clarke shuffling awake but she’s more focused on the fact that Bella is already holding a tray with a stack of perfectly cooked pancakes and a bowl of freshly cut fruit. There’s even a flower in a little vase on the tray. 

 

“Bella! Did you cook those by yourself?” Lexa asks in her warning tone, worry seeping into her body.

 

“What?” Clarke asks, suddenly very awake. 

 

“No!” Bella quickly responds, “Auntie O and Auntie Ray helped me I swear, they’re in the kitchen,” she says in a rush. 

 

Lexa lets out a huge sigh of relief, even holding her hand to her chest. 

 

“You scared me Bels, you’re too young to be using the stove by yourself.”

 

“I know,” Bella says responsibly, “That’s why I asked Aunty O and Ray to help me.” 

 

She goes around to Clarke’s side of the bed and starts to place the tray on her lap, Clarke helps just to make sure nothing spills. 

 

“I thought we had plans Bella,” Clarke says in a loud whisper, though really it has effect in keeping her words privy from Lexa. 

 

“Bels we had plans too,” Lexa exclaims. 

 

Bella does looks slightly guilty but in the end she just shrugs, “I wanted to help both of you, but I realised that wouldn’t work so I asked for help myself. You’re not mad right?” 

 

They both chuckle and shake their heads. “Of course we’re not mad, this is so thoughtful,” Clarke tells her. 

 

“Come up here,” Lexa says patting in between them. 

 

Bella climbs onto the bed from the bottom, squeezing in between her two moms. 

 

“I can’t believe you did all this for us Bella,” Clarke says. 

 

“I just love you guys a lot.” 

 

“We love you too,” Lexa tells her. 

 

They start to dig into the meal, only to be interrupted by their bedroom door creeping open, and two heads popping in. 

 

“Looks like it was a success,” Raven says. 

 

“Aw you guys look so cute,” Octavia adds. 

 

“Thanks for helping me,” Bella tells them and Clarke and Lexa say their thanks as well. 

 

“We’re gonna head off now, though. We left the cleaning up for you!” Raven exclaims before both of their heads disappeared and the door closed shut behind them. 

 

Lexa shot Clarke a look, which was immediately returned. “Sounds about right.” 

 

.

 

Bella is in her bedroom playing while Clarke and Lexa are in the kitchen cleaning up after their breakfast in bed, not that they mind. They stand at the sink working side by side, Clarke washing and Lexa drying. Soft music plays in the background. 

 

“I can’t believe Bella did that for us this morning,” Lexa says, breaking the comfortable silence that they had been working in for the past several minutes. 

 

“Me either. We really did get lucky with her.”

 

“Do you think we’ll get lucky with the next one too?” Lexa asks absentmindedly. 

 

She only realises what she said when Clarke stops washing to look at her. 

 

“You want more kids?” 

 

Lexa falters, “I mean- I just thought-“

 

“Lexa, I would love to have more kids with you,” Clarke gushes. She places damp hands on Lexa’s cheeks and pulls her in for a tender kiss. 

 

“Really?” 

 

“Of course! I can’t believe we’ve never talked about this before.”

 

Lexa shrugs a shoulder, “I guess because we have Bella, it never really came up.” 

 

“How many did you want?”

 

“I’ve always wanted a big family,” Lexa admits. 

 

“Two more?” Clarke guesses.

 

“Six.” 

 

“Lexa!” Clarke laughs. 

 

“Five,” she haggles. 

 

“Three.” 

 

“Or maybe four?”

 

Clarke rolls her eyes, “...We can talk about it.” 

 

“Deal.” 

 

Clarke laughs, overflowing with happiness. She pulls Lexa in for another kiss, both of them smiling into it. They break away a few moments later when Bella bounds into the kitchen, but the smiles never leave their faces. 

 

“Why are you happy?” Bella asks. 

 

Lexa looks to Clarke, who just nods, knowing that they’d have to ask Bella eventually. 

 

“What would you think about having a brother or a sister?” 

 

 

 

 

The end.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to come chat to me at [thehaughtcommander](http://thehaughtcommander.tumblr.com/).
> 
> p.s. in like a week im going to delete the 6th chapter (the preview chapter).


End file.
